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Rules of a MAN
iggy Posted: Mon Nov 10 11:56:08 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  These are our rules:-
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


 
socialyD Posted: Mon Nov 10 12:47:45 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Until you start cleaning the toilet the seat stays down!


 
addi Posted: Mon Nov 10 13:17:59 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  socialyD said:
>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>Until you start cleaning the toilet the seat stays down!

Let's be adults and compromise here. Attach a small screw and a wire and hang the seat at a 45 degree angle when you're done. Halfway between up and down. That way both sides are equally pissed.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Nov 10 13:26:41 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  let's just do away with the toilet altogether and put in a urinal.
no seats
no problem
no shit
LOL


 
FN Posted: Mon Nov 10 15:32:17 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I refuse to simply put the seat down.

It feels so demeaning.

I'm a guy damned!


Anyway, I just 'close' the toilet, and don't just put the seat down, so no matter who's next has to open it.


I am so evil

muhahahaha


 
FN Posted: Mon Nov 10 15:35:15 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Talking about toilets, a fun thing to do is this:

1) unscrew the lightbulb in the toilet (so the light doesn't reflect and gives it away, you'll know what I'm talking about later)

2) take a roll of that transparant plastic sticky foil thing

3) put the toilet seat up

4) stretch the foil over the toilet

5) put the seat down

6) wait untill you hear ppl cursing and laugh, laugh, LAUGH!!!


I am so evil



lol


Don't mind me.


 
libra Posted: Mon Nov 10 16:48:03 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Talking about toilets, a fun thing to do is this:
>
>1) unscrew the lightbulb in the toilet (so the light doesn't reflect and gives it away, you'll know what I'm talking about later)
>
>2) take a roll of that transparant plastic sticky foil thing
>
>3) put the toilet seat up
>
>4) stretch the foil over the toilet
>
>5) put the seat down
>
>6) wait untill you hear ppl cursing and laugh, laugh, LAUGH!!!
>
>
>I am so evil
>
>
>
>lol
>
>
>Don't mind me.

me and some friends did that at a slumber party in like, fifth grade...it was the girl's brother who ended up using the restroom though...


 



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