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Need some help
FN Posted: Sat Nov 15 09:36:26 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My grandfather died yesterday.

When my parents got divorced I lived there for a while untill we found another place to call our home.

I have been going over to my grandparen'ts house almost everyday at noon from school to eat.

I have a lot of memories about him, like when he took me riding on the back of his bike in one of those special seats as a kid, and on my own bike later on in life.

He had a great sense of humor and I liked him even more because of that.

He was cured of prostate cancer just over a year ago, but he had a small 'hartinfarct' in dutch, I think it's called coronary disease or someting in english.

Test showed he also had developed leukemia and had to undergo a surgery which consisted of 4 bypasses.

After the surgery was over he kept complaing of pain around the area of the cut in his breastplate.

They found out that he had MRSA, for those who don't know it, it's a mutated bacteria which is resistent to all forms of antibiotics but one, and most people who contract it are very weak so they can't really defend against it.

It was eating away at his breastplate so it had to be taken out.

He got a collapsed lung and also suffered from both brain and stomach haemorrages during the next week.

The day before yesterday his kidnies broke down as well.

He died around 19:05, I got the message from my mother around 19:07.

Anyway, to make a long story short, my mother asked me to write something for somebody to read at his funeral, and I was wondering if anybody knows any good quotes or something which I can use which are about death or loss or something, it would be very appreciated.

libra Posted: Sat Nov 15 13:49:37 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm really sorry Christophe.

I'll keep my eye out for quotes.

DaveHill Posted: Sat Nov 15 15:52:52 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've always liked the poem "Funeral Blues" by W.H. Auden.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Even though it is in English, and you're (like me) speaking Dutch, it might be something worth thinking about.
My condeleances.

iggy Posted: Sat Nov 15 15:53:46 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  my condolances dear friend
hope u feel better soon...
will look around for you too

ifihadahif Posted: Sat Nov 15 15:59:52 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  boy that's a tough one.
i still miss my grandfather. he died in 1965, when i was ten years old.
it's really hard to find quotes for this type of situation without sounding too cliche.
i think the first few paragraphs of your post are about as good as it gets when looking for words to express your feelings toward your grandfather.
for myself i prefer actual stories and anecdotes rather than quotes. they seem to carry more meaning.
bon chance mon ami

FN Posted: Sat Nov 15 16:48:24 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  

Well if I'd find a quote I'd try to translate it but a poem is a bit too much to translate since the true meaning would be lost, but thx for looking it up though, going to keep it anyway.

Mesh Posted: Sat Nov 15 16:55:23 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe, I am so very sorry for your loss buddy. I will look for some quotes as well. Stay strong.

Mesh Posted: Sat Nov 15 17:25:48 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Death ends a life, not a relationship.
--Jack Lemmon

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
A. Sachs

The greatest mystery of life is that we cannot know its true beginning or end. The end of a life begins a memory - a memory that lives forever.

When a loved one becomes a memory, a memory becomes a treasure. Treasure your memories.

I agree with hif, the first part of your post would be best at for expressing your feelings.

*m*a*s* Posted: Sat Nov 15 17:47:06 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. My condolenses to you and your family. It just plain sucks when someone you love dies. And I'm sure that I can say we're all here for you if you need us.

I agree with hif as well, but if you want a quote, I found this one on the site under the sandman - the kindly ones. It kind of sums up what I was going through when my grandmother died. Her always smelled like potpourri... I still keep a little bit of it with me to remind me of her. Anyway, I hope it helps, and although this will never feel better, it will become less difficult.

" I do think you're listening to me, from somewhere. I mean, I've seen too much over the years to believe that it starts and ends with bodies. There's something around before bodies start, something around after they rot.
Buggered if I know what it is, though. Somebody once told me you don't really die until everyone that you knew is dead, too. Think of all the people I'm keeping alive, eh? I don't know.

I don't remember what you smell like. You've been gone two days, and I don't remember how you smelled. You didn't smell like anyone else. I like the way you smelled. I...

I miss you a lot."

dan632 Posted: Sun Nov 16 04:51:10 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i'm sorry for your loss. i m not going to give you advice on what to do, how to get through it or that i know how u feel because honestly, i don't have the faintest idea. the closest person to me that has died was my great grandma who called me Donald, i don't know why.
i don't know if any of my quotes will help or not, but i'll put the effort in NEwayz.

*I am forever changed, because of who you are, and what you have meant to me.

-Holden(Ben Affleck) - Chasing Amy

*Life isn't about the breaths we take, it's about the moments that take our breath away.

*When you love someone, you give them part of your heart, and at that moment, your heart is broken. It is ironic that you can't feel the pain until they give you back that piece of your heart and you try to put it back together again.

*The best things in life aren't things.

-Art Buchwald

*If I could die and come back as anything, it would be as one of your tears. What more would i want than to be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks and die on your lips?

*And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

-Jerry Chin

*Our scars have the power to remind us that the past was real.

-Anthony Hopkins (Hanibal Lecter, Red Dragon).

antartica Posted: Sun Nov 16 07:49:16 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  my condolences my dear friend...
having lost both my grand dads when i was really young, i can feel with your loss.... just remember a man stops exsisting not because he ceases to live...

why should you look for quotes? you should express yourself in your own words. with what we have seen of your creations, i believe that no great poet or philosopher could equal something written from your heart for the man you loved so dearly....

addi Posted: Sun Nov 16 10:00:05 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:

>why should you look for quotes? you should express yourself in your own words. with what we have seen of your creations, i believe that no great poet or philosopher could equal something written from your heart for the man you loved so dearly....

I agree with Ant, Christophe. You have a gift with words. Let it come from your heart.
I'm very sorry for your loss.

FN Posted: Sun Nov 16 14:14:22 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I appreciate everybody's support.

Have had a very rough week-end.

I'm just back from my grandmother's house.

Found out that the bypass surgery wasn't done right and that the problems started there. There was a 'private' doctor who knew my grandparents and who knew about the collapsed lung who got angry at the hospital staff and told them to do something about it because it was treatable, but they only took a look at it about 2 days later, when he died.

My grandmother is an emotional wreck. Yesterday they would have been married for 45 years, he died a day before that, which doesn't do it any good either.

There were a lot of people there, which I couldn't stand. Why don't they just leave everybody the fuck alone instead of faking that they care. Seems to be helpfull for my grandmother though and my mother asked me to calm down and let it be so I did...

I got myself under control again but it doesn't take much to piss me off right now, and I'm furious at the staff of the hospital, I'll spare everybody the details but it comes down to it that they just let him die because they just didn't feel like doing anything.

When my mother asked why they didn't check what was wrong and if he would make it they just told her 'look madam, he's already 74 years old, alright? Get over it'.

I'm kind of glad I wasn't there when that nurse said that, I don't know how I would have reacted.

Worst thing is that he was lying there when she said that. Can you imagine that?

It's so fucked up, in a country like Belgium with excellent hospitals, equipment and highly trained staff people die because of the fact that the people who should take care of the patients don't feel like doing what they're paid for.

I don't know how you can go to sleep at night knowing that you indirectly killed somebody because you didn't feel like doing a check-up.

Hated the world before, hate it even more now.

sweet p Posted: Sun Nov 16 20:16:38 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm very is a hard thing to have to deal with. I hope your family is holding up as best they can.

The best eulogies I have heard were all simple and from the heart. Your writing is beautiful and no matter what you write, because you mean it, it will be honorable.

Christophe, you always come across as a strong person, and I think that you are. I hope it will help you get through everything.

Dancer Posted: Mon Nov 17 04:53:30 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  my condolences. take care.

mat_j Posted: Mon Nov 17 06:10:34 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My grandfather died in april this year of prostate cancer, i understand how you are feeling buddy but the stuff with the hospital is terrible and you shouldn't have to contend with that. Like you my parents are divorced and i used to go to my grandparents house for dinner and to stay a lot when i was in school as they lived nearby. The parallels bring back an ache to my heart but I know you are a strong person and that this will be your greatest challenge, Don't doubt yourself Chris be strong for others but don't forget that your strength is not limitless.

I can't think of many quotes so i'll leave you with a poem written by Dylan Thomas about the death of his father


Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


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