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Listen up yuppy girl
Mesh Posted: Sat Nov 15 16:51:32 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  1. frozen yogurt is not one of the basic food groups. it might be low fat, but it still has like 10 calories per oz., which means the 32 oz. medium you are diving into has around 320 calories. while we're on the topic, going straight to tasti-d-lite to eat that medium on your way home from the gym is probably why your ass is big.


2. it's not normal to live in new york city, have your own apartment, eat out every nite and have multiple $300 handbags when you earn under $20k per year. that salary would technically qualify you as living below the poverty line. i've got an idea: stop taking your dad's $$, move to hoboken or queens, share a small apartment, stop going to saks every day after work, and start saving some money and taking responsiblity for your life.


3. is it possible to walk down the street and not talk on your cell phone? you're yapping away, completely oblivious to what's going on around you, waving your arms and gesturing wildly, talking loud enough so that anyone within a 10 foot radius can hear every word of your conversation about how you saw ed norton at some club last nite. nobody cares. put your phone away and pay attention to where you're going. i'm not going to grab you next time you're about to step in front of a bus.


4. if a guy takes you to dinner, whether or not you like him, the least you can do is say "thank you." also, at dinner please be prepared to talk about something other than the story about justin timberlake you just read in US Weekly, or the episode of Paradise Hotel you watched last nite. Try reading the NYTimes (other than Sunday Styles)--you might just learn something.


5. wearing your "good jeans" is not getting dressed up.


6. no one is buying the fake tan.


7. sex and the city is over. cari is too old, miranda was never good looking, and we've all seen samantha's boobs one too many times.


8. try smiling on occasion.


9. the reason you're still single is because you are too picky and have outrageous expectations. all the men who are rich, over 6 foot tall, very good looking, who are pro athletes and also doctors have been taken. i've got bad news for you: women outnumber men in this city. that guy who you blew off last nite because you thought he was a not wearing the right jeans, he is probably wildly successful and will treat you like a princess.


this is just my advice and you can take it or leave it, but those of you out there in murray hill, who know who you are and it might be worth paying attention.





 
libra Posted: Sat Nov 15 17:49:49 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ok, my friends call me a yuppie(it makes me sad), but after reading that, I've decided I'm not. Just cause I shop at American Eagle...which is actually not very yuppieish...

I don't fall under any of those categories!(yay!)


 
Mesh Posted: Sat Nov 15 17:56:08 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>Ok, my friends call me a yuppie(it makes me sad), but after reading that, I've decided I'm not. Just cause I shop at American Eagle...which is actually not very yuppieish...
>
>I don't fall under any of those categories!(yay!)


Good. Never thought your would be the yuppy type.


 
zander83 Posted: Sun Nov 16 01:10:11 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  im on my way to becoming a yuppie...

cubicle-job... i somehow get the feeling im going down the road that involves 2 kids, a dog, an suv, an affair,being sent to an old-folks home once the will is made, oh goody...

And they say nihilism is dead


 
libra Posted: Sun Nov 16 02:42:20 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  zander83 said:
>im on my way to becoming a yuppie...
>
>cubicle-job... i somehow get the feeling im going down the road that involves 2 kids, a dog, an suv, an affair,being sent to an old-folks home once the will is made, oh goody...
>
>And they say nihilism is dead

no no zander! you can't do that...


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Nov 16 09:02:37 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  omygosh !
libra is a redhead !
i'm doomed !


 
addi Posted: Sun Nov 16 10:05:01 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  zander83 said:
>im on my way to becoming a yuppie...
>
>cubicle-job... i somehow get the feeling im going down the road that involves 2 kids, a dog, an suv, an affair,being sent to an old-folks home once the will is made, oh goody...
>
>And they say nihilism is dead

LOL!! Good one Zander. I think there's a pill you can take to fight off Yuppieitous.


 
addi Posted: Sun Nov 16 10:10:02 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>omygosh !
>libra is a redhead !
>i'm doomed !

Libra you fool! Ya just couldn't be happy with looking good in black and white. Ya had to go color on us. Now you've done it! Every night as you lay in bed thinking know that Hif has printed out a copy of your "redness", gone to Kinko's, had it blown up to a 6' X 8' poster, and has it taped to his bedroom ceiling. 8(


 
libra Posted: Sun Nov 16 13:20:54 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Its not red, the colors in the picture are tinted to the extreme. It's more of a light brown with red lights...


 
zander83 Posted: Sun Nov 16 16:22:01 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Now to add a touch of christmas:

YUPPIE CHRISTMAS...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru' the condo,
Not a creature was stirring whose car had known Bondo.
The Gucci's were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that the neighbors would notice them there.
The dependents were nestled, all snug in their beds
While Porsches and charge accounts danced in their heads
And my dove and I, watching T.V. cable stations
Had just settled down to three weeks paid vacation.
When out in the drive there arose such a clamor
My wife lost her place in a story in Glamour.
To the window I had the man run, like a flash
To make sure it was garbage men taking the trash.
But he said, "It's a lawyer, sir, parking his car.
I fear it's a Jetta, and in THIS front yard!
Shall I sound the alarm?" "Yes, don't let him inside!
My ex must want more alimony," I cried.
But though servants locked windows and barred the front door,
Our defense was as loose as a two-dollar whore.
For just as back in the Jacuzzi I stepped,
A soot-suited man from the fireplace lept.
"I flew down the flue," he informed, and I sighed.
"That sure puts a damper on things," I replied
He was dressed in a suit, with three pieces and tie,
But I saw he'd forgotten to zip up his fly.
He had a long nose that resembled a dork,
And his beady eyes begged to be poked with a fork.
With only these words, "You poor Ivy-leagued jerk!
This isn't your day!" he went straight to his work.
Beneath the aluminum tree he did crouch,
And took all of our presents to put in his pouch.
The TV's and stereos, jewelry and clothes,
All went into his Hefty, and then he arose.
He crossed the fireplace, turning his back...
And emptied our stockings out into the sack.
But just as I thought that was all I would lose,
He went to the kitchen and drank all my booze.
Then he dumped all our silverware into the bag,
And added the new VCR to his swag.
Our Waterford crystal, our Tiffany lamps,
My son's Telecaster and thousand-watt amps,
My Princeton diploma was yanked off the wall
And twenty sports jackets from out in the hall.
My antique collection, the wife's diamond rings,
He ransacked the house and took all of our things!
But when he had stacked all the bags by the door,
Well, I brought our my Doberman and said "Listen you boor!
You've invaded our privacy - I know the law!
KILL, Charger, KILL!" But the lawyer guffawed,
And laying a finger aside of his nose
Gave a honk, and blew snot - all over my clothes.
He grabbed a dry breadstick and took my dog's life,
Then ran to the bedroom and ravished my wife!
Now, I really was peeved! "Sir, I'll see you in court!
You can't do such things to collect non-support!"
But he laughed, "Non-support?" as he got off my spouse.
"Tomorrow they're coming to take down your house.
And soon the policemen will drag you away.
Your own Uncle Sam's repossessing today!"
"You mean you aren't my ex-wife's attorney?"
I asked, while he loaded my gold Lamborghini.
He laughed as he dashed away into the night,
And tossed a bottle which broke my porch light.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Damn, your wife was awfully tight.



 
addi Posted: Sun Nov 16 21:33:00 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>Its not red, the colors in the picture are tinted to the extreme. It's more of a light brown with red lights...

Don't matter. He ain't looking at "you". Hif's looking at a photo of Libra the red. What the eye sees is percieved as real. That's all he needs for hours (or maybe minutes) of entertainment :)


 
libra Posted: Sun Nov 16 22:35:35 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>libra said:
>>Its not red, the colors in the picture are tinted to the extreme. It's more of a light brown with red lights...
>
>Don't matter. He ain't looking at "you". Hif's looking at a photo of Libra the red. What the eye sees is percieved as real. That's all he needs for hours (or maybe minutes) of entertainment :)

uh oh, i'd better change the picture...

i like your picture addison...the dog is really cute!


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Nov 17 00:47:46 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>addison said:
>>libra said:
>>>Its not red, the colors in the picture are tinted to the extreme. It's more of a light brown with red lights...
>>
>>Don't matter. He ain't looking at "you". Hif's looking at a photo of Libra the red. What the eye sees is percieved as real. That's all he needs for hours (or maybe minutes) of entertainment :)
>
>uh oh, i'd better change the picture...
>
>i like your picture addison...the dog is really cute!



NO NO DONT CHANGE YOUR PIC.


YEAH ADDI, YOUR NEW PIC IS COOL


 
libra Posted: Mon Nov 17 01:09:38 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:

>
>
>
>NO NO DONT CHANGE YOUR PIC.
>
>
why?




 
iggy Posted: Mon Nov 17 01:29:34 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  the term yuppie means young urban professional.

it was never meant as a classifiation of new urban professionals in the 80's :)


 
addi Posted: Mon Nov 17 07:18:55 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:

>
>uh oh, i'd better change the picture...

No, keep it for awhile. It reminds me of one of those WWII Betty Grable posters the soldiers pinned up in their barracks (only missing the bottom half).

>i like your picture addison...the dog is really cute!

Thanks. I'll pass the compliment on to him.

*thinking to himself....oh, sure, my damn dog always gets compliments, but not the owner. (sigh)...maybe I should dye my hair red, at least hif would get excited.


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Nov 17 15:00:27 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>libra said:
>
>>
>>uh oh, i'd better change the picture...
>
>No, keep it for awhile. It reminds me of one of those WWII Betty Grable posters the soldiers pinned up in their barracks (only missing the bottom half).
>
>>i like your picture addison...the dog is really cute!
>
>Thanks. I'll pass the compliment on to him.
>
>*thinking to himself....oh, sure, my damn dog always gets compliments, but not the owner. (sigh)...maybe I should dye my hair red, at least hif would get excited.



Oh wow addison, you are a such a good looking young man. How old are you, 24, 25?


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Nov 17 15:01:48 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>meshuggah said:
>
>>
>>
>>
>>NO NO DONT CHANGE YOUR PIC.
>>
>>
>why?
>
> I like the way the tinted colors do to make the picture look, makes its color look kinda cool.


 
addi Posted: Mon Nov 17 15:23:36 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:

>
>
>Oh wow addison, you are a such a good looking young man. How old are you, 24, 25?

Don't get me wrong, mesh. I'm a hip 21st century open minded kinda guy, but I was kinda hoping for a compliment like that to come from a girl. I'm flattered though. Thanks :)


 
libra Posted: Mon Nov 17 16:44:34 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh wow addison, you are such a good looking young man. How old are you, 24, 25?

There you go addi!


 
addi Posted: Mon Nov 17 17:30:13 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>Oh wow addison, you are such a good looking young man. How old are you, 24, 25?
>
>There you go addi!

Oh, that just REEKED of sincerity! Thanks for the effort though. And I think you're such a good looking young man too! lol


 



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