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Tonight with Mat_j
mat_j Posted: Tue Nov 25 19:08:53 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Okay we've had a house and a cafe now please can i have my late night variety chat show? I need a guest, a band leader, a drunken ex military producer and Some form of roving reporter in the field!


 
addi Posted: Tue Nov 25 19:18:00 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  people have accused me of having a roaming eye so I guess the roaming reporter is a good fit


 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Nov 25 19:56:15 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  no doubt about it, i'm ex-military and i've been drunk a time or two . . .


 
libra Posted: Tue Nov 25 21:52:26 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I dont know what i could be. I dont think i'm interesting enough to be a guest and I can't play any instruments. You guys figure it out.


 
addi Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:03:04 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>I dont know what i could be. I dont think i'm interesting enough to be a guest and I can't play any instruments. You guys figure it out.

Oh, this should get some good responses! lol


 
iggy Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:07:23 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

[someone whispers to chanz]

what do u mean this is not the jerry springer show? watthefuckisthisshow again? fuck!

sorry

[runs out into the next studio with a chair and lunges at the guests crying out 'infidel pigs of satan!'


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:18:50 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ok it's like Letterman (Leno to Hif)

Chanz your the band leader Libra you're the first guest, what do you do??


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:19:33 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The rest of you are hired btw, exactly as i planned it. Mwahahahahhahaha


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:20:33 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  (No kidding Addi and Hif you were whom i had in mind, bizarre innit)


 
Aeon Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:31:45 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Could I be your second guest? I got plenty of juicy stories plus I can sing and act.


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:44:20 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Your in kid provided you do a number from your new album


 
Aeon Posted: Tue Nov 25 22:47:36 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think I'll go with my latest hit, "Scarecrow". Alice In Chains... eat your heart out!


 
libra Posted: Tue Nov 25 23:49:39 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>Ok it's like Letterman (Leno to Hif)
>
>Chanz your the band leader Libra you're the first guest, what do you do??

What do i do? I work at an eye surgery center as exciting as that is...and I go to school...the most exciting thing to happen to me today was getting an A on my english essay. The best grade in the class! go me. I studied for anthropology today for like four hours...I have a huge test tomorrow...

I told you i'd be a boring guest....


 
iggy Posted: Wed Nov 26 03:48:50 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  [returns with blood stained chair from studio next door... mutters arabic obscenities at the security]

band leader? mwah ha ha ha ha

[instructs the fearful cheesy band with a chainsaw]

anddddddd nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

we bring you mat j

[band plays a symphonic version of metallica's master of puppets]



 
bluellama Posted: Wed Nov 26 10:47:26 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I can be the crazy lady that always brings the wild animals that attack the host.

This week: an untamed bengal tiger, and a kitty cat.


 
mat_j Posted: Wed Nov 26 11:32:00 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Blue your on after Libra!


Ok good evening and welcome to a really great show tonight we have Libra speaking to us about the ins and outs of celebrity eye surgery and Blue Llama with her veritable menagerie, but first Chanz and the wheeled warriors play us in with THE THEME FROM MASH!


 
12 step Posted: Wed Nov 26 11:46:16 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hey mat could i get on this show i swallow things for cash


 
mat_j Posted: Wed Nov 26 11:48:48 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Of course old pal


And also on tongihts Show mr 12 step will swallow antartica whole for seven dollars and thirty two cents


 
iggy Posted: Wed Nov 26 12:28:13 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  shit... 12 step, i'll pay u 10 more bucks if u swallow him and diges him and shit him out


 
mat_j Posted: Wed Nov 26 12:46:38 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nicholas! Please get your band to paly sometihng, we need to get Libra on and then a onto Addi


 
12 step Posted: Wed Nov 26 12:51:20 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  shit ten bucks is ten bucks i'll give it a shot


 
mat_j Posted: Wed Nov 26 12:52:37 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  done, can we geta drum roll please Chanz, 12 step is now going to swallow antarica


 
iggy Posted: Wed Nov 26 13:03:11 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  [seizes drum from band and rolls it across the stage]

so wat... i'm full of cheese...


 
iggy Posted: Wed Nov 26 13:04:27 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>Nicholas! Please get your band to paly sometihng, we need to get Libra on and then a onto Addi


[screams like a girl]

noone calls me nicholas!!!! NOONE! NOONE! that infidel name!

wait did u say we're gonna get libra on addison?


 
libra Posted: Wed Nov 26 17:05:43 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  yes, what is this about? I'm not getting on addison.


 
mat_j Posted: Wed Nov 26 19:36:28 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>yes, what is this about? I'm not getting on addison.

Aw come on the ratings would be tremendous......... okay oaky, so tell me about the damn celebrity eye centre!!!!!


 
libra Posted: Wed Nov 26 20:24:49 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>libra said:
>>yes, what is this about? I'm not getting on addison.
>
>Aw come on the ratings would be tremendous......... okay oaky, so tell me about the damn celebrity eye centre!!!!!


there's really no point in me going into it. its a bore...

or we can do it this way

Ah, yes the "eye center." Well, I can't say much, its really a top secret organization for *cough cough* something i'd rather not mention. In the depths of the facility we...


 
addi Posted: Wed Nov 26 21:43:21 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>yes, what is this about? I'm not getting on addison.

Ohhh! she's an old fashioned girl and likes to be on the bottom. How quaint!



 
ifihadahif Posted: Wed Nov 26 22:14:05 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ok libra, we can do this, but you have to dress up like a sheep.


 
antartica Posted: Thu Nov 27 05:27:07 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>done, can we geta drum roll please Chanz, 12 step is now going to swallow antarica

okie.... hang on here hows i get in here????

heck.... go on ,. gimme my 15 minutes!


 
addi Posted: Thu Nov 27 08:22:36 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>ok libra, we can do this, but you have to dress up like a sheep.

Nay Nay. Don't go out of your way for me.
(Grabs a mike and moves over to band)

Okay, boys. a 1, a 2, a 1, 2, 3...(starts snapping finger and singing Billy Joel while walking towards Libra)
"Don't go changing to try and please me...it's not the color of your hair....I love you just the way you are..."


 
mat_j Posted: Thu Nov 27 11:36:16 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hey roving reporter get out in the field, there are more sheep there (Where does this Addi and sheep thing come from anyway)


 
FN Posted: Thu Nov 27 11:42:33 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My favourite magazine, Humo, sometimes gives something together with the magazine itself (like a sort of cartboard device for women to be able to pee while standing upright, but most of the time it's a sort of condom)

Last week the 'treat' was a chocolate-flavoured condom.

There was a commercial on tv as well about it.

It's about a milkman going from door to door, and all the housewives have rotten teeth (for the retarded people among you: because of the chocolate-flavoured condoms), and then he gets home and his wife has shiny white teeth, and then he walks up to one of his sheep. The sheep smiles, you see it's rotten teeth, followed by the famous sentence: "Reading Humo can have serious consequences"


Brilliant.


 
addi Posted: Thu Nov 27 12:05:23 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>Hey roving reporter get out in the field, there are more sheep there (Where does this Addi and sheep thing come from anyway)

It's Hif's fault! I'm sure of it!


 
antartica Posted: Thu Nov 27 22:39:20 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>mat_j said:
>>Hey roving reporter get out in the field, there are more sheep there (Where does this Addi and sheep thing come from anyway)
>
>It's Hif's fault! I'm sure of it!


yes!
blame it on the King Thong...
if you dunno where to point the finger to .... heh heh heh point it the Thong!!!


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Nov 28 07:12:38 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  you guys are really starting to hurt my feelings **sob**


 
antartica Posted: Fri Nov 28 15:57:37 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>you guys are really starting to hurt my feelings **sob**

hey!!! PaPa Thong... dun take it the wrong way yea...

it's coz u're sucha "founding figure" of GTforum that we figure you deserve such honours!!!


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Nov 28 20:51:24 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:
>ifihadahif said:
>>you guys are really starting to hurt my feelings **sob**
>
>hey!!! PaPa Thong... dun take it the wrong way yea...
>
>it's coz u're sucha "founding figure" of GTforum that we figure you deserve such honours!!!

me ? a pounding figure ?
cool !


 
mat_j Posted: Sun Nov 30 07:09:16 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>you guys are really starting to hurt my feelings **sob**

Yeah, 'feelings' and i expect those 20 bottles of turkey neck whiskey i found in your room were to make you feel all better eh?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Nov 30 13:09:38 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  whiskey ?
i'm from kentucky, we don't drink whiskey here.


 
mat_j Posted: Sun Nov 30 16:26:37 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Bourbon then or maybe some sailors rum!


 
mat_j Posted: Sun Nov 30 16:27:31 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh and it's a little known fact that it is possible to get a kentuckian to drink irish whiskey, all you need to persuade him is chloroform and a funnel :)


 
mat_j Posted: Sun Nov 30 16:28:01 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Does the word tennessee sour mash chill you to your bones?


 
mat_j Posted: Sun Nov 30 16:31:56 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It makes me aroused in a way only a shit load of booze can.... mmmmmmmm booze


 



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