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Boy Questions
socialyD Posted: Thu Dec 4 11:42:36 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  So there seems to be a lot of relationship questions out there as of late, so here's mine.

My boyfriend does this really irritating thing. For a week he treats me like I am the center of the world, he's very attenitve, he's sweet, and tries really hard to be perfect. These are the weeks when I am walking on air and my whole world seems easy.
Then the next week he acts cooly toward me. That not say he's rude or mean, he just ... distant. He want acknowledge me when I enter the house, he doesn't call me and sometimes he just turns off his phone, and sometimes he seems like he's avoiding me. Every time he does this I ask him, what's wrong? He always get upset and tells me nothing, and that I am just freaking out. These are the week where I am irritable and sullen.
He always tells me he loves me, even when he's in one of these moods, and he is never down right rude to me, but it just seems like he stops caring.
I really don't know what is going on and I don't even know what to start doing about it. Any body got any ideas?


 
mat_j Posted: Thu Dec 4 12:18:57 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I am often like this to my lovely lady friend and i can't quite explain it myself. I love her a lot but sometimes i just suffer from a kind of emotional fatigue, she's forever asking me what's wrong but i just get pissed off by it and say things like just because im not making a sound doesn't mean sometings wrong.

I think it may be stress or just some kind of male primitive thing, i know a few guys who are like it at different levels, some so bad they can't hold down a girl because of it.

I hope someones got a better explaination of this than me.


 
addi Posted: Thu Dec 4 12:32:49 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Addi the love mechanic says:

Don't sweat it darlin'. If that's the biggest complaint you have with him he's a man among men. Most guys act like this to some extent. I know, I was one once. It's the guys that always treat you like a queen that you have to worry about. They're either really an alien or they're trying to hide something they feel guilty about.

NEXT...


 
mat_j Posted: Thu Dec 4 12:39:42 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  What that guy said


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Dec 4 13:22:19 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yeah what he said...

I am too like this I dont know why its weird but I dont know why.


 
addi Posted: Thu Dec 4 14:11:41 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Yeah what he said...
>
>I am too like this I dont know why its weird but I dont know why.

Mesh where the hell you been?! My gut tells me you've been out doing things that will force Santa to put you on his "naughty" list.




 
libra Posted: Thu Dec 4 15:12:06 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It sounds like its kind of a regular thing for guys. I wouldnt worry to much if i were you. Maybe its something like the way I stop talking to someone as soon as i like them but flirt with the guys i dont like. Its kind of a defense mechanism for me to not get hurt i think.


 
addi Posted: Thu Dec 4 16:10:37 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
> Maybe its something like the way I stop talking to someone as soon as i like them but flirt with the guys i dont like.

*note to self...stay on Libra's "do not like " list.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Dec 4 16:44:17 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
> I stop talking to someone as soon as i like them

AHA ! just as i suspected. . . she likes me !


 
Aeon Posted: Thu Dec 4 17:43:26 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>It sounds like its kind of a regular thing for guys. I wouldnt worry to much if i were you. Maybe its something like the way I stop talking to someone as soon as i like them but flirt with the guys i dont like. Its kind of a defense mechanism for me to not get hurt i think.


I kind of have that same problem. I usually flirt with every girl I meet and if they ever start liking me I get uncomfortable. Like this crazy 22 year old who's after me now...


 
addi Posted: Thu Dec 4 17:51:55 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon said:

>
>I kind of have that same problem. I usually flirt with every girl I meet and if they ever start liking me I get uncomfortable. Like this crazy 22 year old who's after me now...

Here's an easy solution for you Aeon. When you start getting the heebie jeebies from a girl just answer the door next time she comes over to bother you wearing only that apron in your photo and nothing else underneath. she's bound to run away screaming. Problem solved! :)

*Next time we'll tackle the harder problem of just why you have an apron in the first place


 
Aeon Posted: Thu Dec 4 18:53:45 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>Aeon said:
>
>>
>>I kind of have that same problem. I usually flirt with every girl I meet and if they ever start liking me I get uncomfortable. Like this crazy 22 year old who's after me now...
>
>Here's an easy solution for you Aeon. When you start getting the heebie jeebies from a girl just answer the door next time she comes over to bother you wearing only that apron in your photo and nothing else underneath. she's bound to run away screaming. Problem solved! :)
>
>*Next time we'll tackle the harder problem of just why you have an apron in the first place

I had underwear on.


 
SntSaturn Posted: Thu Dec 4 19:43:20 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My guy does this to me on occasion too. It's exactly what you say, but it never lasts very long.
I've learned not to bother fussing about it. I try to give him some space and tell him to hang out with his friends. After he gets enough testosterone, he's back to treating me like a princess.(well, at least thats the case for me.)


 
addi Posted: Thu Dec 4 21:34:07 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon said:

>
>I had underwear on.

Well that just ruins the whole effect. That's like a scottsman wearing shorts under his kilt. Go commando boy!


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Dec 4 21:59:19 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
>I kind of have that same problem. I usually flirt with every girl I meet and if they ever start liking me I get uncomfortable. Like this crazy 22 year old who's after me now...



Same here. I flirt like crazy and am the complete opposite of shy with any girls I know but the second I find out they may like me or I start liking them I get so very nervous and shy and start acting all akward and stuttering and things.


 
iggy Posted: Thu Dec 4 22:46:28 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  socialyD : i was just telling my girlfriend that the other day.

guys are sorta like girls in some way... we experience mood swings, or am too emgrossed in something.someproblem. at that time.

at times we just want to be left alone. there's nothing wrong with u, trust me. there's nothing wrong with the relationship either. it's just that we just need some time alone.

we don't share our problems. maybe it's some preprogrammed thing that we go through not to show your emotions as it's a sign of weakness, but we do go back into our safety/comfort zone where noone is allowed in to contemplate, or think or just to rest.

just leave him be. don't ask him funny questions or confront him or say we're drifting. just hold his hand when he's around, or just touch him and tell him that if he needs u, u're there for him. and let him drift off. when he is 'recharged' he'll be back to normal.

trust me. even though i'm happy where i am and all, but i do need some time off just to be alone. no particular reason. i just want to be left alone.

i believe most guys are like that.


 
socialyD Posted: Fri Dec 5 11:26:59 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think the final descion was that he really is just being a guy and that I needn't worry. As hard as it is to step back and believe it's just a phase I think that is exactly what I need to do.

PS
Chanz, thank you your adviced really hit a spot.


 



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