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socialyD Posted: Mon Dec 22 16:11:23 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I hate when I do these sappy emotional posts, but I need some insight.

For Christmas I bought my boyfirend an expensive snowboarding coat, his only gift. I gave it to him this weekend because I am push over and he begged for it. This weekend I went to do some Christmas shopping and he mentioned that he was short on cash and he didn't know if he'd be able to afford a gift for his sister. I know he hadn't gotten my gift and knew the hidden statement was he couldn't afford any more gifts including you-know-whos. I told him not to worry about it I don't want him to be strapped for cash because of me. However, his best friend who a friend of mine mentoined that my boyfriend had spent about $400 on his parents presents, and not to metion that he partied it up all weekend (bachalor party). Am I being irrational and girly because my feelings are hurt?



 
FN Posted: Mon Dec 22 17:42:39 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It's only normal you feel screwed over because of this.


Who's bachelor party was it? His? I mean are you 2 getting married or something?




In all honesty and without wanting to ruin your relationship or something but from what I have seen before and my reasonable amount of insight in human behaviour I suggest that you dump the lowlife.

He's taking advantage of you.

He could just as well have spent 200$ on his parents and 200 on you.


 
socialyD Posted: Mon Dec 22 18:34:57 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>
>Who's bachelor party was it? His? I mean are you 2 getting married or something?
>
>Absolutly not! It was a high school buddy of his. I love my boyfriend but in reality he needs to grow up little before settling down.
>
>
>In all honesty and without wanting to ruin your relationship or something but from what I have seen before and my reasonable amount of insight in human behaviour I suggest that you dump the lowlife.
>
>He's taking advantage of you.
>
>He could just as well have spent 200$ on his parents and 200 on you.

Ya, I look at it that way to, but don't you think it seems shallow to be upset and want to end things because of the gifts he didn't buy me?


 
FN Posted: Mon Dec 22 18:58:41 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  No.


It's the principle behind it.


You aren't upset because he didn't give you anything, you are upset because he could give his parents something expensive while he might as well have given them something less expensive and could have given you, his girlfriend, something too.

And maybe he could have even gotten away with this but the fact that he didn't have any problems with you buying him that coat which I can imagine has cost a lot of money means that he's just taking advantage of you.


My advice, and trust me I have seen it before, is to get out as quickly as possible.

If they do it once they'll do it again, that's the case with everything.

Ofcourse he won't object to you buying him stuff, but then if he is capable of doing so as well (which he clearly is if he can spend 400$ on a gift for his parents) he can buy you something just as well.

Personally I think it is more logical that you first make sure that if you're going to buy gifts you get one for your girlfriend first, and parents afterwards.

Parents won't care, your girlfriend will.


 
FN Posted: Mon Dec 22 19:05:58 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  One more thing,


you shouldn't allow people to treat you like shit.

Nobody, not your partner either.



From my point of view he's just taking advantage of you and if he's smart enough to get the point indirectly through that he doesn't have enough left to buy you something he's smart enough to see that as well.

And if he knows that what he's doing isn't right and he's not being fair towards his girlfriend you can begin questionning how true his feelings for you are.

Again, seriously, my advice (which is entirely up to you if you want to take it under consideration or not ofcourse) is to kick his ass to the curb. Things won't change. Don't let him talk himself out of it, it'll be probably better for a month or so and after that things will start all over again.

You shouldn't expect people to change, and this works both ways. If you aren't comfortable with somebody it's not your problem, but the other person's.


 
iggy Posted: Mon Dec 22 19:35:11 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  aye.

the dude said it right.




 
webmaster Posted: Mon Dec 22 21:45:56 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe has his point, but one interesting question you might like to consider is what would his reaction be if you didn't get him anything but spent all all your money on your parents. Would he get upset?


 
iggy Posted: Tue Dec 23 01:01:50 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  webmaster said:
> you might like to consider is what would his reaction be if you didn't get him anything but spent all all your money on your parents. Would he get upset?


i think we already know the answer to this one

"I gave it to him this weekend because I am push over and he begged for it. "

jase, he begged for it. which means he expected the gift


 
antartica Posted: Tue Dec 23 01:18:36 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  tell him to go fuck himself

dun waste your time


 
Asswipe Posted: Tue Dec 23 03:12:01 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  how are you certain he hasn't gotten you a gift? maybe he has been saving up for a rudolf the red nose orgasmatron to spice up your holiday cheer?

i don't know him and i don't know you, neither does anyone else on here. its impossible for you to tell the whole story and for us to make a better judgement on it than you, we'd have to know you better then you know yourself and know who this guy is better than you know him. his past needs to be taken into account and what him not buying you a gift actually means to him and to you.



 
marsi Posted: Tue Dec 23 03:48:57 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Asswipe said:
>how are you certain he hasn't gotten you a gift? maybe he has been saving up for a rudolf the red nose orgasmatron to spice up your holiday cheer?

Ok, let's give this guy a benefit of a doubt. Wait two days, before you dump him.
If he really hasn't bought you anything, get out of this relationship.
If he really hadn't any money and he bought everybody gifts for 10$ and you wanted a gift for 100$ - then it might seem shallow.
Being bad at math is no excuse. If I had 400$ to spend for gifts I would spent it all on my parents only if other people in my life meant nothing to me - well at least not special - like a partner or a good friend.
Maybe you should ask yourself a different question - is my boyfriend shallow?
Don't stay with him would be my advice.


 
socialyD Posted: Tue Dec 23 11:26:40 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My deepest apoligies! I hate to admit it but Asswipe you are right. Last night after having a really crappy day at work I fell apart and told my boyfriend how crappy he made me feel. He ever so sweetly said to me 'Baby, I love you and you are my first priority. I did get you a chirtmas present and it was the first present I bought.'

I have to say I am a complete jackass. I am sorry to everyone. I feel like a complete idiot.


 
FN Posted: Tue Dec 23 11:46:42 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Check the store how much it is worth ;o)


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Dec 23 12:45:11 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  What the people above said



 
antartica Posted: Tue Dec 23 23:51:06 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  re-reading this all over again... is this what X'mas has become?

who get's the more expensive gift?

the best gifts i've rec'd:

can never been gift wrapped

can never be found in a store

can never have a price put to it

and if you all want to know what it is, i'll tell you...

a hug from my bros' with a simple "Love you Bro"
and a sincere "Thank You" from Her...

all of you, and i mean ALL OF YOU... go look yourselves in the mirror...


 
iggy Posted: Wed Dec 24 00:31:10 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  in the spirit of christmas. let's celebrate it the traditional way.

lets stay in a barn somewhere.

we need a man, a virgin, a baby.
an ass and three men who's high on weed


 
bluellama Posted: Wed Dec 24 00:40:28 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  chanz said:
>in the spirit of christmas. let's celebrate it the traditional way.
>
>lets stay in a barn somewhere.
>
>we need a man, a virgin, a baby.
>an ass and three men who's high on weed

Cheers to that!


 
antartica Posted: Wed Dec 24 01:28:32 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  chanz said:
>in the spirit of christmas. let's celebrate it the traditional way.
>
>lets stay in a barn somewhere.
>
>we need a man, a virgin, a baby.
>an ass and three men who's high on weed

AMEN!
and God Bless Everyone...

ignore me all... i'm just being a meanie...

all of ya have a Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year


 
mat_j Posted: Thu Dec 25 18:57:11 2003 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hell i'm high all the time, I'll be the guy who brought the mirth


 



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