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What do you think ?
WinterSky Posted: Sun Jan 11 21:53:16 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hi everybody!
I have a conundrum right now that I thought the wisdom of the GT boards could help with . First of all ....Im in high school ... ok got that out....

Now there is this girl I have been talking to online for a good month now and she goes to my school . I really like her we have a lot in common we are pretty good friends now ..blah blah...
my thing now is I dont know if i should tell her I have feelings for her ... I have been thinking about her alot , but she is going to another school Thursday so im thinking about giving her a note on her last day at my school ...
See the main problem to me is she is a big out going party/drinker girl , and im not like that...dont really have anything against it ...its just not me, that is the only immediate thing stopping me from trying to get something going....

so really need advice here....even a little?
Should I tell her...? What should i say?

we have went on a date once and I can tell she might have some feelings for me...I dont know ... i could just be venting...

typical stuff here i guess.....but what are you going to do =)


 
libra Posted: Sun Jan 11 21:58:46 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Its easy for me to just say TELL HER and then go away. But the thing is is that it is something that is hard to do. Everything seems to point to you telling her though, and I don't think you have anything to lose.




 
*m*a*s* Posted: Sun Jan 11 22:14:18 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Don't leave a note. If you want to ask her out, do it in person. Sounds rough but a note will seem very formal and serious, and that can be scary if you're just starting to date.


 
WinterSky Posted: Sun Jan 11 23:14:13 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hey thinks for the replys =) ..... No im not really looking to ask her to be my girlfriend or anything liek that I just kind of want to tell her how I feel , to sort of see what kind of response I get...


 
choke Posted: Mon Jan 12 00:15:20 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I say go 4 it. The worst thing she can say is that she hates you and shes going away anyway so it shouldnt matter too much. But she could always say she feels the same way.. If u dont do it ull spend ages wondering what couldve been.


 
Malik Posted: Mon Jan 12 00:23:48 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  WinterSky said:
>hey thinks for the replys =) ..... No im not really looking to ask her to be my girlfriend or anything liek that I just kind of want to tell her how I feel , to sort of see what kind of response I get...

You don't be with her romantically, you don't want to go out with her, but you want to see what she would say if you asked her to be either of those things? If you're just doing it to see what kind of response you'd get, just like a scientist shoots electricity into a dead frog leg "just to see what kind of response he would get", I wouldn't suggest it. High school _is_ for learning about relationships and all, but it's not a biology lab, damnit! :)

She will either say, "Yes, I loved you, and I wanted to be with you, but I'm leaving in four days and we can't really do anything easily." In that case, you will spend a damn good while hung up on her, trying to find a way to see her. Then, after you put a huge amount of effort driving to wherever she is, or just talking on AIM, she finds someone new, and you'll spend uncountable hours in your room wondering what it would be if you just told her flat out sooner.

Or, she will say, "No, I never really liked you as anything other than a friend." And that is one hard thing to hear. Hell, it's been eight months since I heard that, and I'm _still_ hung up over her. Rejection is hard, even if you tell yourself that you just wanted to know.

Then there is the third option: you don't say anything special, other than an, "I'll miss ya," and the like when she leaves. Then, once she's really gone, you start to think what it would be like if you just asked her. The question will burn through your mind, and you will scratch your eyeballs out for not asking her. You will become instant that she was enamored with you as well, and for the rest of your life (or at least the next couple months), you will spend endless nights staying up late, wondering.

But, in my opinion, the prospect of not knowing is so much harder than whatever she can say. After all, you're a teenager, aren't ya invincible?

[this post purposely intended to be ambigous and not specify a clear choice of action]



 
DaveHill Posted: Mon Jan 12 04:32:53 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Do it. Say it right in her face. Don't let the moment get by, you'll just keep wondering 'what if?'

(so, yeah, this is just like what everybody else said :))


 
dan632 Posted: Mon Jan 12 06:02:07 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  "procrastination is like masturbation without the payoff"...i think we have chanz to thank for that quote. i was in the same position last year. tell her, nuthing bad can come out of this...if she doesn't like u understandably u'll b hurt but you'll get over it, if she likes you don't fuck it up.


 
momo Posted: Mon Jan 12 06:05:26 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  dan632 said:
>"procrastination is like masturbation without the payoff"...i think we have chanz to thank for that quote.

good lord... did i say that? *thinks* what was i on then???

*ahem*

dude, u have nothing to lose. try 50% don't try 0%... don't ever wake up in the middle of the night screaming of what if's and then go back to wanking to your porn...


 
iggy Posted: Mon Jan 12 06:06:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  erm. the above reply by momo was by me. chanz


 
marsi Posted: Mon Jan 12 10:24:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I would say the same as everybody.
Tell her. It's better to know, than to be guessing all your life what her answer might have been. And tell her in person, don't send her a note.
And like Malik said - don't do this like some kind of experiment. It's not fair to her.



 
FN Posted: Mon Jan 12 10:37:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I have learned quite a few lessons in my life, and perhaps one of the most emportant ones of all is tell the world what you think even if you risk getting hurt in any way because of it.

Seriously man, I know what 'what if' can do to you and the enormous weight which fell of my shoulders the day I finally got my act together and told her is something I never want to bear again again.

Just go for it man seriously.




And about the fact that she's the going out type of girl and you're not and such: don't kid yourself, stuff will never work out between you guys. I know what I'm talking about here as well. They say opposites attract, bullshit. For a while that might work but in the long run it tears the relationship apart. You'll get jealous and will want to hold her back, she'll feel trapped and things will start to heat up. If she goes out a lot and you don't your worlds are probably very far apart so you might not have as much in common as you think.


Don't get tricked.


 
Aeon Posted: Mon Jan 12 13:10:18 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Tell her.


 
marsteller Posted: Mon Jan 12 13:45:06 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hey, if she's goin to a new school soon anyway, might as well try to stick it in her while you've got the chance


 
socialyD Posted: Mon Jan 12 13:53:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  'You miss 100% of the shot you don't take.' - I have no idea who said the orginaly but my advisor in college used to say that to me all the time.

Take the chance, feelings are important and need to be recgonized.


 
Asswipe Posted: Mon Jan 12 15:41:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  don't tell her a fucking thing. show her your "feelings" in actions, not in words. ask her on a date somewhere, just do something fun, go bowling or make a snowman; do whatever. while on the date, flirt w/ her a bunch, see if she reciprocates it at all and if shit's feeling right, go for a kiss. that's the easiest and least pussy way to find out if a girl's interested. plus girls respect a man of action more then a sniveling "i like you".

not to mention, if the girl's going away soon, you'd be a fool to try to start an actual relationship, so just make the best of what you can in the short time before she ships off.

if she's interested in ya, she'll melt if you make a movie, if not, get used to it, it will happen again.


 
WinterSky Posted: Mon Jan 12 15:45:15 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  WOW! i love this placer all of you are amazing... I owe all of you one ....seriously

first of all malik I think you got confused... shes just going to another school thats nearby ... not moving...its not really an experiment... id give my right nut to be with her (ok not really) ... I am shy , and there is still a part of me that thinks it wouldnt work out because of her lifestyle

if i tell her its gointg to be to her face .... if i dont its going to just be a subtle im going to miss you... I am pretty sure she already knows of my feeligns... but having some one tell you is way different...

thanks ecpsecially to christophe and malik for their wisdom .... but i now love all of you for at least pretending to care....=)


 
WinterSky Posted: Mon Jan 12 15:53:33 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hey asswipe... thanks man .,... we have gone to the movies once... we held hands... i made pretty much all the moves... I know me and her are both shy ... so that evening still left me confused because we havent really talked or done much sence...


 
FN Posted: Mon Jan 12 16:02:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  In my days we skipped the holding hands part lol



What are you waiting for man, really.


I'll tell you the same thing as I told a friend of mine in a similar situation as yours: If you don't act now she might think you're as gay as a lesbian drillseargant


 
Nikki Posted: Mon Jan 12 16:53:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hi Jerks


 
dan632 Posted: Mon Jan 12 19:50:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nikki said:
>Hi Jerks

now that's just mean...why'd u go and say something like that?


 
sweet p Posted: Mon Jan 12 23:54:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Don't give her a note...I don't think that's the best way to talk to her.

If you've already been on a date, then she must've agreed to spend time with you in the first place...Ask her out again and if she accepts, then there is obviously some sort of attraction between you two.

Also, you said that you're pretty sure she already knows how you feel about her...well, don't give her so much credit. Especially if she's shy like you said, she is probably second guessing it, and seeing as you haven't spoken really since the last date, she might think that you weren't interested. Girls don't know everything. She needs you to say it to know for sure.




 
Aeon Posted: Tue Jan 13 00:25:27 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nikki said:
>Hi Jerks

Hi Idiot! Name calling is FUN isn't it!? Lol. What a tard.


 
antartica Posted: Wed Jan 14 03:54:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  chanz said:
>dude, u have nothing to lose. try 50% don't try 0%...

yea right.... try no try sometimes same...

just aim for the head and you'll hit their heart...

trust me on that... i'm not telling to take a sniper rifle and take a bead on her ya dip... talk to her and give her brain food she canna get else where... worked for me. now i'm the one mind-fucked....

but try it and follow up well and you should suck-ceed....

may the FOS be with you


 
antartica Posted: Wed Jan 14 03:56:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  why everyone's saying no notes???

ever tried those green ones with ben on one side?

ha ha

not realli... i've been out with girls and we're chatting and i'd grab my note book and write up a half-fucked prose for her and as bad as it is, she knows that you're doing somthing for her... and mostl of the times it does get appreciation... =)


 
mat_j Posted: Sat Jan 17 23:00:26 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nikki said:
>Hi Jerks

YOU!


 



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