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Life sucks
socialyD Posted: Mon Jan 12 13:48:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My dog of fourteen years had to be put to sleep. It was horrible. She was my best companion and the light of my humble little home. I have always been her parent, and the one time she needed me the most there was nothing I could do. She sat there on the vet's table dieing begging me with her little puppy dog eyes to make it better. When she's in pain she always tries to climb into my lap, that's all she did at the vet's. When they gave her the injection she was sitting in my lap though she went peacefully it was horrible to be holding her but in the same breath I wouldn't have wanted her to go any other way.

On Saturday night a good girlfriend of mine from college fought with her fiance and they split. She was found Monday morning having hung herself in a framed house. On saturday night I fought with my boyfriend and turned off my phone. That same girlfriend, Mellisa, called me four times that night.

I can't help but feel guilty. I could even speak to her mother at the funneral. If had just answered my phone thing might have been different. I really resent my boyfriend for the stupid fight we had. I am concidering ending our relationship, because I did the unthinkable I wasn't there for a friend in need because of a boy.

I am really in the gutter today. I had to come into work and I am having trouble pulling myslef through. I just don't know I feel so hopeless, so useless... I couldn't help the 'people' who needed me the most.

addi Posted: Mon Jan 12 14:04:35 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ain't nothing I, or we, can say to really help here, except we're with you. I know a lot of us would let you cry on our shoulder if it was possible. Trying to sugarcoat things now seems kinda fake. Life does really suck sometimes, no getting around it. It will get better after some time goes by.

My last dog was with me for 17 years. It got to the point where I was being selfish trying to keep her with me because of the pain she was in. I will never forget holding her head, petting her, and whispering in her ear as the vet gave her the shot. I had to leave out the back exit I was so messed up. But, it got better as the weeks went by and it will for you too. Find a good ear to talk to in person if you can in the meantime, socialyD.

sweet p Posted: Mon Jan 12 14:48:29 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dear SocialyD,

You don't really know me.
I don't really know you.
I can't tell you I know exactly how you feel at this very moment. I can tell you that life, with all it's beauty and wonder, is unfair. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. And we will often feel powerless. But I think this is what you have learned.

I once lost a close friend, I've lost 2 dogs and I too have felt enormous guilt. These things, as hard as they have been to overcome, get better with time.

Stop. Realise that this is how you feel now. Don't think that this can never get better. Time is what you have. Time to talk about it, think about it, write about it, cry about it. There will be people who will want to help you...try not to push them away. And of course, we are always here to listen to what you have to say, hoping you're ok.

Sweet P

FN Posted: Mon Jan 12 14:59:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I can understand that you feel guilty in a way, but from an objective point of view you have done nothing wrong.

Fights happen, and it was a coincidence that those 2 situations met at the same time.

You shouldn't live with the 'what if'. If she and her fiance would have met 5 minutes later things might have turned out completly different as well.

You can't spend your life waiting for people to call so you can help them.

You can wonder how things would have been if your phone wasn't turned off, but at the same time you can wonder what would have happened if you hadn't stopped in front of that red light 5 years ago if you see what I'm getting at.

Don't make it harder on yourself than it already is.

A good friend of mine had to have his cat put to sleep a few months ago, I don't really know how long he had had it but it was a very long time as well and he had gotten a lot of support from it as most pet owners seem to do during the hard times in his life. I saw how hard it was for him so I can in a way imagine how hard it would be for you. I wouldn't really know myself since I don't see the use of pets but that's a different matter. I saw that it was just as he would have lost a human friend, so I hope you can get over it. See it from the other side, I for one wouldn't want to live anymore either if I knew that I would have to spend the rest of my life in pain.

Malik Posted: Mon Jan 12 15:23:58 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've rewritten this post about four different times, and the only thing that can capture what I'm trying to say is this:

*gives socialyD a big hug*

Hope you get to feeling not-crappy as soon as ya can.

Archangel Posted: Mon Jan 12 22:34:45 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Well, I've never had a dog, always wanted one, I'd trade having to put my 14 yr old dog down then never having one at all, ya know what I mean? 'Tis better to have love and lost...

Not to be mean, but there is only one person to blame for a suicide, the person who commited it. A family friend of mine commited suicide last year, I didn't go to his funeral or have any desire to have anything to do with him, he hurt everyone in his life in the worst way possible and that's not my fault, it's his.

You can "if" and "but" yourself forever, but in the end, you make the decisions you have to and everyone else the decisions they have to, there's no guarantee leaving your phone on or a thousand things you could have done differently would have changed a thing.


marsi Posted: Tue Jan 13 10:28:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
This is awful. Sometimes life sucks big time.
Don't know what to say, just
*gives socialyD a big hug*

antartica Posted: Wed Jan 14 04:02:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply

mat_j Posted: Sat Jan 17 23:01:49 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dogs are a noble people, the loss of a dog is often worse than the loss of a human, humans are jerks, dogs are nice, even ones that bite, they have character.


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