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poll question.... kissin'
antartica Posted: Mon Jan 26 02:37:53 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i was rather surprised at the results that so many thought that kissing was "cheating"...

despite the results. how many have cheated in this sense?...

i have


 
DaveHill Posted: Mon Jan 26 04:14:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nope.
Don't intend to either, but alcohol does funny things from time to time....


 
libra Posted: Mon Jan 26 04:24:09 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hmm. never had a boyfriend. so i wouldnt have had the chance. i never had kissed anyone till about two hours ago actually. yes, little [redacted] had her first kiss...unfortunately, things are very odd between me and the guy that kissed me.





 
novemberrain Posted: Mon Jan 26 07:09:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  no

but I guess it would also depend on the level of commitment to whether kissing would be considered cheating or not.


 
addi Posted: Mon Jan 26 07:18:02 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  this begs the question: Kissin' what?

I've kissed my dog. Does that make me a cheater?
Also kissin' where? Mouth, cheek? I have to kiss ass every day at work.

okay, I'll get serious. If you're married/seriously dating someone else I think you need to apply the old standard: Would I do this in front of my boyfriend/girlfriend? If you answer no it's probably cheating for you. (BTW men are masters at thinking if they don't know it won't hurt them logic). It seems that intention plays a big part in this too. What does the act mean to you?
Sometimes I think a kiss on the lips can be much more significant than doing something else, like just heavy petting. It may be just me, but sometimes I feel like kissing another person on the lips is one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. I also believe that what constitutes cheating varies from couple to couple, and culture to culture. Drawing a line in the sand and saying that kissing is always cheating seems a bit arbitrary.

*just re-read this. I have a habit of always looking at both sides and ending up writing a lot, and saying very little.


 
antartica Posted: Mon Jan 26 08:17:07 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>this begs the question: Kissin' what?
>
>I've kissed my dog. Does that make me a cheater?
>Also kissin' where? Mouth, cheek? I have to kiss ass every day at work.
>
>okay, I'll get serious. If you're married/seriously dating someone else I think you need to apply the old standard: Would I do this in front of my boyfriend/girlfriend? If you answer no it's probably cheating for you. (BTW men are masters at thinking if they don't know it won't hurt them logic). It seems that intention plays a big part in this too. What does the act mean to you?
>Sometimes I think a kiss on the lips can be much more significant than doing something else, like just heavy petting. It may be just me, but sometimes I feel like kissing another person on the lips is one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. I also believe that what constitutes cheating varies from couple to couple, and culture to culture. Drawing a line in the sand and saying that kissing is always cheating seems a bit arbitrary.
>
>*just re-read this. I have a habit of always looking at both sides and ending up writing a lot, and saying very little.

erm... unless you're an eskimo where changing wives every few seasons... i think i have to agree with Addi here...

in the culture that i was brought up in, it's not normal to hug and give each other a friendly peck, or rather that smooch sound on the cheek. in fact it would give my grand parents a heart attack...

where i'm working now, it's out right rude if you dont...

then again it's considered a greeting, not like what i beleive the question was getting at... a lower level of intimacy where we commence the (usually mutual) exchange of bodily fluids........


 
DaveHill Posted: Mon Jan 26 09:24:38 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>hmm. never had a boyfriend. so i wouldnt have had the chance. i never had kissed anyone till about two hours ago actually. yes, little [redacted] had her first kiss...unfortunately, things are very odd between me and the guy that kissed me.
>
>
>
Congrats!
Butterflies in your stomach, or your just butterflies in hurricanes?

(re-read : i should really try to be less poetic/cryptic/fill in yourselves)


 
antartica Posted: Mon Jan 26 09:31:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  f**k... thinking about it now... the last time i got kissed... and i mean a real kiss and NO i wasn't cheating was like month and a half ago...

damned... i am so deprived!!!

LOL... talk 'bout self pity... haha


 
addi Posted: Mon Jan 26 10:19:20 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:
>f**k... thinking about it now... the last time i got kissed... and i mean a real kiss and NO i wasn't cheating was like month and a half ago...
>
>damned... i am so deprived!!!
>
>LOL... talk 'bout self pity... haha


Now that is depressing. What a waste of a plonker!


 
socialyD Posted: Mon Jan 26 11:51:20 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It really depends on the kissing. My boyfriend lays a kiss on his best friends cheek, or wet sloppy one on my roomate - she hates her face being touched, I know that it means nothing more than friendship.

If I saw him kissing someone on the lips or regions that only I should be kissed in, I'd come unglued. I have no paticence for cheating, I'll dump a guy right there if I catch him.

Ask my boyfriend, he's almost walked home from Seattle - about a five hour drive from where I live.


 
sweet p Posted: Mon Jan 26 15:37:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I agree that depending on the couple involved, cheating could mean very different things.

Because of my family and my upbringing, I am a very affectionate person. I sometimes may get personal without trying to do so. I've never cheated by kissing someone else. Though due to my comfortable disposition, both guys and girls have taken my welcome to affection as an ivitation to kiss me.

I know this gets into a new topic, but I am really interested with the affects of culture and upringing on this type of thing. I was well into my teenage years before I even started to realise that not everyone must greet their family with hugs and kisses. Especially in university in a place like Toronto, it is sometimes difficult for me to judge what type of behaviour is appropriate and I have tried not to offend anyone.

But anyway, I am used to hugs and kisses on the cheek and even holding hands with some of my friends of both sexes. But I know some people who would not tolerate seeing their significant other doing some of those things.


First kisses are fun! O Libra...I hope things aren't too weird between you two.


 
addi Posted: Mon Jan 26 16:09:23 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Like you, Sweet P, I've always been an affectionate person. Sometimes I think it has worked for the good in my life, and sometimes for the bad.
For example, last year I was repromanded by our human resourses person for being too touchy with another co-worker. I was told I could get a sexual harrassment suit against me. I know now a very conservative mormon female saw me give a woman a shoulder rub while working and she reported me. The funny thing is that the co-worker wanted one. It wasn't sexual (trust me here, I don't want to get mean so I won't say why)It lasted less than a minute and seemed very harmless to me. Anyway, being a touchy person has gotten me in hot water several times in my life. Like you said, Sweet, sometimes I don't realize it and a person can take my friendliness the wrong way. I'm not gay, don't have any secret fantasies that way, but I don't have any problem hugging a guy, or patting him on the back. When I was playing football it would happen all the time. I've noticed it does bother some guys though so now I try to keep that in mind and keep things to a firm business like handshake. God, I'm rambling here!

So if we ever meet in that pub down the road and I greet you with a hug don't be alarmed. I'm straight (and usually pretty clean). If you're a plinker and I greet you by trying to put my hand up your shirt, don't be alarmed. It's just a cultural thing, and my way of saying hello.


 
libra Posted: Mon Jan 26 16:19:43 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sweet P said:

>
>
>First kisses are fun! O Libra...I hope things aren't too weird between you two.

Oh, they're very weird. Canadian boy and I thought we'd give dating a try, but it failed, miserably. Now i have a boy on my hands who 1. doesn't understand why it can't work. 2. realized he decided to come back to california because of me, but now he doesnt have me. and 3. doesn't know whether its easier to sever all ties with me or continue to be friends and be hurt cause he likes me still.

and the kiss was awkward


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Jan 26 16:24:37 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I grew up greeting everyone with a hug and a hearty handshake. It seems perfectly normal to me, but here some people feel uncomfortable with that, so I just take it down to a handshake.


 
novemberrain Posted: Mon Jan 26 16:27:08 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:

>So if we ever meet in that pub down the road and I greet you with a hug don't be alarmed. I'm straight (and usually pretty clean). If you're a plinker and I greet you by trying to put my hand up your shirt, don't be alarmed. It's just a cultural thing, and my way of saying hello.

nice. I'll have to remember that one;-)


 
addi Posted: Mon Jan 26 16:50:48 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  novrain said:

>nice. I'll have to remember that one;-)

LOL! At least I had the decency to warn you. But I do believe you're safe. I don't know where you live and you probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than of bumping into me at a pub.


 
novemberrain Posted: Mon Jan 26 16:54:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>novrain said:
>
>>nice. I'll have to remember that one;-)
>
>LOL! At least I had the decency to warn you. But I do believe you're safe. I don't know where you live and you probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than of bumping into me at a pub.

hehehe. I might have to borrow it the next time I'm at a bar. Tell a hot girl it's a very important part of my culture. :)


 
Malik Posted: Mon Jan 26 17:51:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I voted yes on this one, but I think that it is kinda dependant on some things. But yeah, the "would you do it in front of your guy/girl friend" test is pretty good.

Unfortunately, you could do something to someone else, and not mean anything romantic by it, but your significant other might. Then it's still not okay. :)

I think that kissing on the lips is cheating. Kinda hard to fudge a bit on that line. But on the cheek is different; I think you have to look at the circumstances. You know the whole Roman greeting with kissing one cheek, then the other that has permeated European culture a bit? Also, a kiss on the hand would definately be considered flirtatous, but not cheating. However, kissing anywhere else *cough*cough* would probably constitute cheating. However, there may be extinuating circumstances... I'll leave that up to certain other people here to imagine that for the rest of us.


 
FN Posted: Mon Jan 26 17:55:40 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Malik said:
>I voted yes on this one, but I think that it is kinda dependant on some things. But yeah, the "would you do it in front of your guy/girl friend" test is pretty good.
>
>Unfortunately, you could do something to someone else, and not mean anything romantic by it, but your significant other might. Then it's still not okay. :)
>
>I think that kissing on the lips is cheating. Kinda hard to fudge a bit on that line. But on the cheek is different; I think you have to look at the circumstances. You know the whole Roman greeting with kissing one cheek, then the other that has permeated European culture a bit? Also, a kiss on the hand would definately be considered flirtatous, but not cheating. However, kissing anywhere else *cough*cough* would probably constitute cheating. However, there may be extinuating circumstances... I'll leave that up to certain other people here to imagine that for the rest of us.

Here it's completly normal to give eachother a kiss on the cheek if you meet somebody you know (guys and girls or girls and girls, guys and guys just shake hands in a manly way)


 
FN Posted: Mon Jan 26 17:58:03 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't really see anything wrong with it by the way, I have several female friends who hug me every 5 mins lol.

Most of them just when saying goodbye though, along with another kiss on the cheek.


A bit of a cultural difference I guess.


 
sweet p Posted: Mon Jan 26 23:21:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>Sweet P said:
>
>>
>>
>>First kisses are fun! O Libra...I hope things aren't too weird between you two.
>
>Oh, they're very weird. Canadian boy and I thought we'd give dating a try, but it failed, miserably. Now i have a boy on my hands who 1. doesn't understand why it can't work. 2. realized he decided to come back to california because of me, but now he doesnt have me. and 3. doesn't know whether its easier to sever all ties with me or continue to be friends and be hurt cause he likes me still.
>
>and the kiss was awkward

Oh dear.
That does not sound fun at all...
Nevermind my "first kisses are fun" comment...

Hopefully it works out!


 
simonvii Posted: Mon Jan 26 23:58:27 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  dang man, first: yeah i think kissing is cheating, second: yeah i kiss cheated, twice, third: its stupid dont do it! i lost this one girl i cared about a whole lot cuz i kissed this other girl who didnt even open her mouth when she kissed and had dry skin...man...


 
iggy Posted: Tue Jan 27 00:14:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Kissing A Fool by George Micheal

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that you were strong enough,
To even make a start,
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart,

People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart from you,
People,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,
We should have seen love through,

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes,
Covered me with kisses and lies,
So goodbye,
But please don't take my heart,

You are far,
I'm never gonna be your star,
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart,
Maybe I'll be strong enough,
I don't know where to start,
But I'll never find
Peace of mind,
While I listen to my heart,

People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart,

And people,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,

But remember this,
Every other kiss,
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man,
One you really can surrender with,
I will wait for you,
Like I always do,
There's something there,
That can't compare with any other,

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that I was wrong enough,
To think you'd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool,
You must have been kissing a fool.
(return to top)


 
iggy Posted: Tue Jan 27 00:17:02 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i believe that kissing on the cheeks is ok. i do that too.

but full on lip lock with tongue. i mean that's cheating.

no way i'm gonna take that...

it's an intimate gesture shared between 2 people


 
antartica Posted: Tue Jan 27 00:52:07 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>So if we ever meet in that pub down the road and I greet you with a hug don't be alarmed. I'm straight (and usually pretty clean). If you're a plinker and I greet you by trying to put my hand up your shirt, don't be alarmed. It's just a cultural thing, and my way of saying hello.

strange conflicts of culture here....
where i'm from, if you're of the same gender you shake hands or hug, depending on how close you are, if you are of the opposite gender, be it close friends or a first meeting, you sitck your hands down the front of their pants or skirt or whatever and greet them vigorously.....

wierd world we live in...


 
iggy Posted: Tue Jan 27 01:11:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  aye

in the resistance culture.

if we meet people of the same gender. we offer them weed and bourbon.

if different genders meet, the ladies will do a lapdance for the fellas and then we proceed to make whoopie and then we continue on with whatever we were doing


 
choke Posted: Tue Jan 27 03:29:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hahaha.. first meeting with me and you're lucky to establish eye contact..


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Jan 27 07:09:09 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Like you said, Sweet, sometimes I don't realize it and a person can take my friendliness the wrong way. I'm not gay, don't have any secret fantasies that way, but I don't have any problem hugging a guy, or patting him on the back. When I was playing football it would happen all the time. I've noticed it does bother some guys though so now I try to keep that in mind and keep things to a firm business like handshake. God, I'm rambling here!

I know what you mean, being a boorish drunken socialite i love hugging people i haven't seen in ages, it's not to bad in Wales though we have strong male bonding traditions (Rugby can be downright intimate), i espeicially love to hug people who hate being hugged.

In fact a mat_j hug is something to enjoy (without sounding all big headed) a fair few of m lady friends say i give the best hugs in the world, but's that just because im (if you'll excuse the Welshism) a big cwtchy bear!! ;-)


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Jan 27 07:11:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
Like you said, Sweet, sometimes I don't realize it and a person can take my friendliness the wrong way. I'm not gay, don't have any secret fantasies that way, but I don't have any problem hugging a guy, or patting him on the back. When I was playing football it would happen all the time. I've noticed it does bother some guys though so now I try to keep that in mind and keep things to a firm business like handshake. God, I'm rambling here!


>I know what you mean, being a boorish drunken socialite i love hugging people i haven't seen in ages, it's not to bad in Wales though we have strong male bonding traditions (Rugby can be downright intimate), i espeicially love to hug people who hate being hugged.
>
>In fact a mat_j hug is something to enjoy (without sounding all big headed) a fair few of m lady friends say i give the best hugs in the world, but's that just because im (if you'll excuse the Welshism) a big cwtchy bear!! ;-)


thats better, i almost plagerised Addi!!


 
mat_j Posted: Tue Jan 27 07:11:53 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh no, it's backwards!!! Fuck it i'm off downt pub


 
addi Posted: Tue Jan 27 07:23:05 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:



>thats better, i almost plagerised Addi!!

LMAO!
was it good for you?

*gives mat a manly hug


 
addi Posted: Tue Jan 27 07:27:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:

> if you are of the opposite gender, be it close friends or a first meeting, you sitck your hands down the front of their pants or skirt or whatever and greet them vigorously.....

Note to self: Must visit Dingapore soon and experience the quaint cultural traditions



 
mat_j Posted: Wed Jan 28 11:46:45 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>mat_j said:
>
>
>
>>thats better, i almost plagerised Addi!!
>
>LMAO!
>was it good for you?
>
>*gives mat a manly hug

Is that a mars bar in your pocket or a ruddy great big erection?


 
addi Posted: Wed Jan 28 12:08:57 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:

>Is that a mars bar in your pocket or a ruddy great big erection?

I believe it's Dancer's hand


 



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