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The Wedding Gown
Aeon Posted: Wed Jan 28 15:03:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  We had to do this excercise in poetry class where we wrote a poem about a picture and I got a girl putting on her wedding dress. Here's the poem. It's still raw and rough. I need critique, though.

The dress is as white as sea foam
Tossed on some virgin shore
and it smells of the plastic wrapping
that was its shell.
Iím to be married today. I will walk
Down an aisle that leads to forever.
Through sickness and health.
Through pain and poverty.
Come hell or high water.

The church is bustling and busy,
Buzzing like a broken heater.
Everywhere around me preparations are being made.
Flowers are being hung. Candles are being lit.
The pastor is pacing on the stage,
looking intently at the Bible in his hands.

Forever seems like such a long time.
My nerves are on edge, ready to spring
Like a jungle cat. Fight or flight.
Part of me wants to kick down the door
And get the hell out of here. But I canít.
Iím in this thing for the long haul.
Come hell or high water.

The knock on the door is a pin drop
Hardly heard by my mother and maid.
The second knock sends us all into silence.
The door opens long enough for the pastor
To whisper something in my motherís ear.
Her face becomes sullen stone.
He isnít coming.

Still, the dress is as white as sea foam,
As beautiful as the ocean,
and my tears are almost as salty.


 
addi Posted: Wed Jan 28 16:06:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  poetry wise:
I like it. That's a nice unexpected twist at the end, and writing it from the females perspective is interesting

content comments:(unsolicited, I know)

The time for serious doubt about your mate is long before you get to that point. If you're putting on your tux, or your wedding gown, and still having all those thoughts it's a bad omen for things to come. Go through mental anguish when you consider proposing, or even more, when you are thinking about a child (that's when I did. I knew once a baby came into the scene the doors for me would be forever locked).
When guests are seated and you're 10 minutes from walking down the aisle the only thing on your mind should be how lucky you are, and how great the honeymoon sex will be. Indecision about your future with this person, or worries about how they feel towards you, should be the last thing on your mind.


 
FN Posted: Wed Jan 28 16:25:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Goddamn I never want to get married or have kids.

I would feel so fucking trapped.

What's wrong with just being together and having fun while it lasts anyway?


 
addi Posted: Wed Jan 28 16:42:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I hope you didnt take my rant there as a everyone should get married speech. Don't feel that way at all. In fact too many people get married that don't have any business doing it. I was just giving my 2 cents IF you were going to get married.
Keep in mind that you can feel trapped being married, and feel trapped being single : )


 
FN Posted: Wed Jan 28 16:45:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>I hope you didnt take my rant there as a everyone should get married speech. Don't feel that way at all. In fact too many people get married that don't have any business doing it. I was just giving my 2 cents IF you were going to get married.
>Keep in mind that you can feel trapped being married, and feel trapped being single : )


Lol.

Always have to keep some options open.


 



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