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Why God Created Children
antartica Posted: Wed Feb 4 02:25:00 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
===========================================================

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

And finally: if you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two aspirin" AND "Keep away from children"


 
iggy Posted: Wed Feb 4 02:53:02 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i fear the day chanz jr. wrecks havok on earth


 
marsteller Posted: Wed Feb 4 02:58:21 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i want to have 4 or 5 marsteller jrs, and i'll train them to be my army of ninjas.


 
choke Posted: Wed Feb 4 03:02:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  if i have a kid im guna call it Mowgli Of The Jungle. If i have another itll be called Jesus. One more and itll just be referred to as 'The Spawn Of Satan'

Thank god im not havin kids :D


 
antartica Posted: Wed Feb 4 03:07:17 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  you all saw the article about the dad who named his kid... (something) 2.0?


 
choke Posted: Wed Feb 4 03:14:40 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:
>you all saw the article about the dad who named his kid... (something) 2.0?

nope... how was the kid affected?


 
iggy Posted: Wed Feb 4 03:18:35 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Engineering geek names son version 2.0

Sunday, February 1, 2004 Posted: 2215 GMT ( 6:15 AM HKT)


HOLLAND, Michigan (AP) -- Tacking Jr. or II onto a boy's name is too common, a new father decided, so the self-described engineering geek took a software approach to naming his newborn son.

Jon Blake Cusack talked his wife, Jamie, into naming their son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.

Version 2.0 was born Tuesday at Holland Community Hospital, and the proud parents took him home Friday.

"I wanted to find something different to name him besides Jon Blake," Cusack, who is self-employed with Westshore Design and Cusack Music, told The Holland Sentinel.

He said he had the idea for a few months, and spent the better part of that time persuading his wife to go along.

Jamie Cusack said she didn't concede until the week before the birth. She said she had "picked out the theme of the baby's room and done other things. I decided to let Jon have this."

After 2.0's birth, the Cusacks sent out an electronic birth announcement.

"I wrote in the birth announcement e-mail stuff, like there's a lot of features from version 1.0 with additional features from Jamie," Jon Cusack said.



 
choke Posted: Wed Feb 4 03:23:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  what a geek

..now Mowgli, on the other hand, has style :P


 
antartica Posted: Wed Feb 4 04:31:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>antartica said:
>>you all saw the article about the dad who named his kid... (something) 2.0?
>
>nope... how was the kid affected?

yeah... and J.B.S. ver 1.0 actually said that ver 2.0 could name his son ver 3.0!

talk about childhood trauma!


 
mat_j Posted: Sat Feb 7 09:18:32 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:
>choke said:
>>antartica said:
>>>you all saw the article about the dad who named his kid... (something) 2.0?
>>
>>nope... how was the kid affected?
>
>yeah... and J.B.S. ver 1.0 actually said that ver 2.0 could name his son ver 3.0!
>
>talk about childhood trauma!


So if they have another kid that performs better in school then they could callir Jon blake Cussack 2.5


 



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