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Daisy-Chain The Pain - what to do?
dan632 Posted: Thu Feb 5 04:31:15 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  OK so i have this friend, she's actually a phantom GTer, she might not show who she is and frankly i don't want her to. But anywayz her friends keep putting her in really difficult positions like she has to talk to one person first or they'll say shit like she doesn't like him or if she talks to another guy than someone else will start saying that she loves him and she gets yelled at by one of her other 'friends; and so on, they keep putting her in these really difficult positions. she has got to the point where she just can't take it anymore and ends up hurting herself for it. it sounds to me like one of these guys is really jealous and keeps giving her crap for that reason only; personally i don't think it's right that this guy is pushing his own insecurities onto her.
ok i've had my ramble, i don't know what to do to help her because she lives a fair distance from me, i don't know what to say because i feel like i can't express my feelings properly and anything i say would come out wrong.
what do u think she should do? i feel like she is sinking fast and soon she'll be overwhelmed and then gone and that really scares me...what should she do>?


 
antartica Posted: Thu Feb 5 06:47:26 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  sound to me like she's got a real prob on her hands.......

phantom or not... she's a GT'er and she's family... do i hear an AYE lads?

if you consider these "people" friends, please think again. coz if these ppl are reali your "friends" they would never belittle you in the way's described... and would accept you for you no matter what.

talk to them. confront them if you have to even. but don't put up with this nonsense...


 
antartica Posted: Thu Feb 5 06:50:14 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  oh i forgot... she could always sign up with the resistance?


 
addi Posted: Thu Feb 5 07:16:28 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:

>phantom or not... she's a GT'er and she's family... do i hear an AYE lads?

AYE lads!

>if you consider these "people" friends, please think again. coz if these ppl are reali your "friends" they would never belittle you in the way's described... and would accept you for you no matter what.

Could not have said it any better, ant.



 
antartica Posted: Thu Feb 5 08:51:03 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>antartica said:
>
>>phantom or not... she's a GT'er and she's family... do i hear an AYE lads?
>
>AYE lads!
>
>>if you consider these "people" friends, please think again. coz if these ppl are reali your "friends" they would never belittle you in the way's described... and would accept you for you no matter what.
>
>Could not have said it any better, ant.
>

now you make me sound old!
hahaha....

but seriously dan...tell ya lady fren that she can stuff those losers...


 
addi Posted: Thu Feb 5 08:54:37 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:

>now you make me sound old!
>hahaha....

face it, mate. At GT if you're older than 25, you are old! : )


 
antartica Posted: Thu Feb 5 09:01:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>antartica said:
>
>>now you make me sound old!
>>hahaha....
>
>face it, mate. At GT if you're older than 25, you are old! : )

you juz made me laugh and the office is going like... what's up?
HA HA HA


 
iggy Posted: Thu Feb 5 09:56:29 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:
>oh i forgot... she could always sign up with the resistance?


VIVA LE RESISTANCE!

......................//)
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.................../..../
.............//'...'/`
........../'/.../..../......./
........('(.......... ~/'...')
..........................'.../
..........''............. _.
.........................(
............................



 
FN Posted: Thu Feb 5 10:21:45 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Those aren't friends.

Tell her she should be more assertive and don't take any crap from anybody.


Sounds like blackmail to me.


If I encounter situations where people try to blackmail me I force them to do it and afterwards return the favor x2.


You shouldn't allow anybody to threaten you with 'do this or else'... and you certainly shouldn't call them friends.


If they force you to talk to somebody or else they'll say something bad about you to that person, just let them, who gives a shit? Afterwards you tell the person how it's really like and you show how pathetic they are.


When blackmailing people like to feel like they have power over you, which is something you should never accept (unless you are prepared to accept it out of your own free will) so go directly against it and once they have nothing left it's your turn for some low blows.



Like I said before, some people have tried to blackmail me in the past but I've made an example out of them so now I'm guessing everybody thinks twice before threatening with stuff like that.


She should do the same, she has nothing to lose, it aren't friends anyway.


 
libra Posted: Thu Feb 5 12:46:46 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  People can be so horrible...

I don't know what to say she should do. Obviously, these people can't be true friends. But I know how hard it is to leave friends and find new ones, especially in high school(which is where I'm guessing she's at). I've known too many people who hurt themselves because of the things that are going on around them, and it took them to find help for them to get away from it. The people I knew that cut themselves were doing it because of pressure from people to always do well, and the stress that comes along with high school, not because of friends. I hope she can find her way away from these people, and realize that there are people who aren't like that.


 
Malik Posted: Fri Feb 6 14:54:54 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I was reading the post, and I thought to myself, "What kind of a person gives a crap if someone speaks first to them? It's not because they are good friends, because a good friend wouldn't sling rumors just because someone didn't talk to them first."

But then I realized that it's all about power. If your friend has to go to a certain person and talk to them, it's not because the other person has some crazy erge to talk to you, it's because it's seen as a sign of submission. And remember, you are in High School; everyone is watching. Your friend is just being forcibly demoted down the social food chain because her so-called friends want to have more perceved underlings (and thus power).

In High School, the social ladder is a bitch. You can give all those girls the finger, and take yourself out of it, but you'll get nasty rumors started about you, and have little to no friends. And the possibility of making new friends is low, because everyone (not just to popular people) hears those rumors, and most people believe them.

I think she should just quietly, slowly slip away from those "friends." Make some new ones. Don't go to the parties where you have to bow and curtsey to everyone in a row. Stop being a servant, and become your own person.




 
misszero Posted: Sat Feb 7 03:41:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  spun = they put some tobacco in with it. makes it less potent (and more sucky. but that's just my opinion.)

from what you wrote, mara, it seems to me like everybody is hurt and proud. but again, that's just me. I don't know. If these aren't vicious people, their being.... bitter (for want of a better word) could be because of the hurt, and they're being too proud to admit it. I get like this. From experience, falling for best friends in any combination is not a great idea. *sigh*


 
dan632 Posted: Sat Feb 7 03:42:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  there goes the whole subtlety thing and not releasing your identity but oh well, your choice.

mara said:
>Until last night, he smoked up and said it was a loophole because they spun it [I don't even know what that means, some help would be nice].

if u spin it u put tobacco or nicotine in it, normally just a cigerette. no loophole really, he still smoked weed, mara didn't cut...she jabbed


 
antartica Posted: Sat Feb 7 03:47:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  dan632 said:
>there goes the whole subtlety thing and not releasing your identity but oh well, your choice.
>
>mara said:
>>Until last night, he smoked up and said it was a loophole because they spun it [I don't even know what that means, some help would be nice].
>
>if u spin it u put tobacco or nicotine in it, normally just a cigerette. no loophole really, he still smoked weed, mara didn't cut...she jabbed


from where i come from its a common form of lighting up coz of the cost of it and jus a wee bit of tobacco helps to keep it burning properli...

but damn... we not talking about toking methods here! haha not that i wouldn't love to light a bowl but... back to the topic! =P


 
misszero Posted: Tue Feb 10 21:35:33 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ant, just come hang out with me, coz I'm magical and can keep it burning properly unspun.

*back to topic*


 



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