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Lessons learnt
iggy Posted: Tue Feb 24 02:52:54 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Lessons Learned - Part 2

1. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

2. Never pass up an opportunity to tell someone you love them, or to show them.

3. Background and circumstance may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

4. Life is too short to deal with rude or obnoxious people.

5. Choose only the sweetest of words. You may have to eat them.

6. Something done in an instant can give you heartache for life.

7. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

8. When you think you have no more to give, and a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

9. If you move far from your family when you're young, consider choosing a career with an airline. Your need to see your family will last a lifetime, as will your travel benefits.

10. Living well really is the best revenge. So is looking well.

11. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.

12. Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to hold your hand.

13. Work is good but it's not important.

14. Lifeís short. Eat desert first.

15. Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

16. Never under estimate the kindness of your fellow man. Or his need to be needed.

17. When you find the person who will share your days and nights, donít try to change them. Just enjoy who and what they are.

18. Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.


 
iggy Posted: Tue Feb 24 02:57:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Chanz life lessons

Things that Iíve learnt so far.

1)Drive.
You must learn to drive. There are many good things that happen to you when you know how to drive. At least you wonít fumble with the car when the occasion arises.
ďGee, I wonder that this round thing here does. I see people holding it and turning it once in a while? A steering wheel? You paid so much for this car and you got to drive it yourself?Ē

Along with driving comes many talents. For me Iíve learnt to drive with my hand stuck on the horn, the other out of the window with my middle finger proudly displayed for the world to see. Yes! Such courtesy to salute everyone on the road with the very finger I wash my ass with. The one and only true talent. Iím the new statue of liberty, Iíd tell ya.

Iíve leant to be polite too. Sure, you greet people u meet everyday, but do you greet their MOTHERS too? No? Shame on you. Ask them if their mothers have been satisfied the previous night and please describe them how they should show their love to their mums. Itís such a joy to spread the love around.


2)Love yourself but do not fall in love with yourself.
I love myself, thatís why I canít stop touching myself. In fact, I love to touch myself and admire other creations of God in their full glory at the same time. Only those who are truly at ease with their bodies and imperfection will touch them whenever and wherever they want.

But do not make the mistake of falling in love with myself. That is vanity. Many have fallen into the trap of such self-love and they become arrogant, selfish and stubborn.

How can I be sure, youíll ask. Well, I donít intend to fuck myself yet, thank you very much.


3)Speak, read and write.
Well. Everyone can speak, read and write. Every time I go the public crapper, I read the poetry they write, and sometimes I contribute to the public forum too. And of course Iíd call the number these individuals put up and tell them what fine words they used.

Everyone loves an intelligent person. Read a lot. I read a lot too and Iím very proud to share my choice in literature with everyone I meet. I love reading those fine magazines with foldable center pages.

Speak well. Write well. Thatís what makes the difference. (Now listen here boys) Girls do love an occasional letter to them. Just donít write what you are going to do to them, and donít ever take those rap lyrics as reference material.

4)Listen.
What makes the difference between a good speaker and a great conversationalist is the ability to listen. Or at least look interested. Iím good at one, go figure.

5)Dance.
Doing the funky chicken and throwing yourself at other people does not count as dancing.
Someone once said that dancing is like making love with your clothes on. Well, itís true.
The tango, the salsa, even hip hop and raving is a form of dancing. The trick is rhythm. I canít teach you that. Itís only a matter of self discovery. A lot of my friends think they can dance when in fact, they look like a couple of schoolboys caught on the electric fence.

6) Memory.
Having a good memory is very important. what's the point of learning when you can't remember the facts?
what's the use of meeting new people when you can't remember their names?
Or at least try.
I've learnt more things in life, when i do remember what those things are, I'd continue posting.


 
iggy Posted: Tue Feb 24 02:59:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Lessons Learned - Part 1

1. A woman needs only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

2. Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you" though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.

3. Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on-stage singing, some are in the audience as critics, some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

4. You can either control your attitude or let it control you.

5. You have the right to become angry, but never the right to be cruel.

6. Others do not have the power to make you angry, you let them.

7. Consider the opinions of others, but never live by them.

8. Never give yourself a haircut on a Saturday night.

9. When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

10. Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

11. Good sex should involve laughter. Because it's, you know, funny.

12. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right.Ē

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. You are different... just like everyone else!

15. Money is a lousy way of keeping score.

16. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

17. Never marry a man you meet in a bar.

18. If he says that you are too good for him, believe it.

19. True friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same for true love.

20. People who ridicule their spouse are not nice people.


 
iggy Posted: Tue Feb 24 02:59:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Lessons Learned #3

To everyone that has kids, will have kids, or can remember being a kid... just a few points of wisdom to pass on to the next generation. No truer facts have every been penned:

Here Are Some Facts Kids Won't Learn in School, Teach Them Yourself!
Unfortunately there are some things that children should be learning in school, but don't. Not all of them have to do with academics. Here are some basic facts that may not have found their way into the standard curriculum:

Fact #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it!
The average teen-ager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often, you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, They realized Fact #1 is true.

Fact #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does.
It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock, but when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain, "it's not fair". (See Fact No. 1)

Fact #3. Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school.
And you won't be a vice president or have Onstar either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label!

Fact #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss!
He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how you "feel" about it.

Fact #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity!
Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity!
They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Destiny's Child all weekend.

Fact #6. It's not your parentsí fault! If you screw up, you ARE responsible!
This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime.

Fact #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now!
They got that way paying YOUR bills, cleaning up YOUR mess, and listening to YOU tell them how much more know and how ignorant they are!! And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom!

Fact #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off! Not even Easter break!
They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Fact #9. Television is not real life! Your life is not a sitcom!
Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials! And STAY OUT of neighborhoods where you don't "fit in"; diversity is not as it seems on TV! You could get hurt or worse!
In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Anniston.

Fact # 10. Your kids are going to have a hoot looking at your teen pics.
Full expect to hear your kids say, "At least we don't purposely have our undies hanging out!"... A LOT! And you should be just about 25 when you find out that it was Marky Mark in the mid-80s that started the undies thing. How retro are you!?

Fact #11. Be nice to nerds!
You'll probably end up working for one of them!

Fact #12. Enjoy school while you can!
Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid.


 
lethal_poppy Posted: Tue Feb 24 08:49:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Gosh.. chanz, how true can all ur words get! grinz! i was like bobbling my head away from the 1st part to the last part! :)


 
DaveHill Posted: Wed Feb 25 09:03:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I try to supress a lot of those thoughts really...is that like, a good thing?


 



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