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New element discovered.
Mesh Posted: Thu Feb 26 17:45:32 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Investigators at a major research institution have
discovered the heaviest element known to science. This
startling new discovery has been tentatively named

This new element has no protons or electrons, thus
having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1
neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and
111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a
force called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.
However, it can be detected as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. According
to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
causes one reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would normally take less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately
three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons
exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's
mass will actually increase over time, since with each
reorganization some of the morons inevitably become
neutrons, forming new isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some
scientists to speculate that Administratium is
spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity
is referred to as the "Critical Morass." You will know
it when you see it.

Mouse Posted: Thu Feb 26 20:04:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Man, I guess it's time to install those new anti-moron filters. Me and my dad got a good laugh out of that one. Thanks mesh.

mat_j Posted: Fri Feb 27 01:07:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ain't it the truth!

ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 27 07:01:14 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I work at a supply house and it seems that most of my customers want me to find a product made of unobtanium.

Mesh Posted: Fri Feb 27 22:59:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I enjoy some good handwavium.

mat_j Posted: Sat Feb 28 08:38:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Is that the new global word for the element the British call the Handshandyium


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