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The Official Rules of Calvinball
iggy Posted: Mon Mar 8 20:09:26 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The Official Rules of Calvinball


1.1. All players must wear a Calvinball mask. No one questions the masks

*IMPORTANT -- The following rules are subject to be changed, amended, or dismissed by any player(s) involved.


1.2. Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game. The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5) the player is in.


1.3. A player may use the Calvinball in any way the player see fits, from causal injury to self-reward.


1.4. Any penalty legislation may be in the form of pain, embarassment, or any other abasement the rulee deems fit to impose on his opponent.


1.5. The Calvinball Field should consist of areas, or zones, which are governed by a set of rules declared spontaneously and inconsistently by players. Zones may be appear and disappear as often and wherever the player decides. Zones are often named for their effect. For example, a corollary zone would enable a player to make a corollary (sub-rule) to any rule that has benn, will be, or might be declared. A pernicious poem place would require the intruder to do what the name implies. Or an opposite zone would enable a player to declare reverse playibility on the others. (Remember, the player would declare this zone oppositely by not declaring it.) (Figure 1.5a and 1.5b)


1.6. Flags shall be named by players whom shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag for particular moment in that particular game.


1.7. Songs are an integral part of Calvinball and verses must be sung spontaneously through the game when randomly assigned events occur. These random events will be named and pointed out after the player causes the event.



1.8. Score may be kept or disregarded. In the event that score is kept, it shall have no bearing on the game nor shall it have any logical consistency to it. (Legal scores include 'Q to 12', 'BW-109 to YU-34, and 'Nosebleed to Trousers'.)


1.9. Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game. Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice



Calvinball Equipment


2.1. Mask - All participants are required to wear a mask


2.2. Calvinball - A Calvinball may be a soccerball, volleyball, or any other reasonable or unreasonable, spherical or non-spherical object


2.3. Calvinball Field - The Calvinball Field should be any well-sized field, preferably with trees, rocks, grass, creeks, and other natural hindrances to health.


2.4. Miscellaneous - Other optional equipment include flags, wickets (especially of the time-fracture variety), and anything else the players wish to include .

** This rulebook is not required, nor necessary to play Calvinball.


 
libra Posted: Mon Mar 8 22:59:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hahaha, that's great. I love calvin


 
marsteller Posted: Mon Mar 8 23:03:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  who's up for a game>?


 
Malik Posted: Mon Mar 8 23:39:58 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Let's start... NOW!


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 00:00:03 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  New Rules - plinkers must play topless, or not play at all.


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 00:35:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  as a player of the game i dismiss that rule, marsteller.

But I reinstate a new one: all plonkers playing the game must resemble Johnny depp...or at least dress like a pirate.


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 00:36:56 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  argh, ye scurvy sea rat. methinks ye lasses should be walkin yon plank about now, argh...


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 00:41:54 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hmm, i shouldnt have started that rule...i'm going to get distracted by all the pirate-ness...oh well...


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 00:45:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  fuckin peg leg....*walks away pissed* step-clomp-step-clomp-step-clomp....


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 00:48:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hehehe



*steals marsteller's peg leg and runs away with it, declares it the new 'calvin-ball'*


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 00:52:23 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Death to the pirate rule, so now i've got 2 good legs...
*runs, dives, tackles libra....she rolls around with me in the grass, maybe a little longer than necessary....*
i stand, victorious, holding the calvin ball.
*punts pegleg/calvin ball through the wickets of triumph, scoring 80, 000 points and winning the game*
*the crowd goes wild*


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:00:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *gains superman-like flying abilities and soars to catch the ball as it passes through the wickets of triumph, bops marsteller on the head and tosses it into the flaming circle of fire. The score is now 2NaCl(thats right, table salt) to 80,000.*


 
DanSRose Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:10:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Rule 3.1 - Anyone wearing green gets a stick to poke anyone who annoys them!

Anyone want some?


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:23:51 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  damn, i'm not wearing green...

damn, you can't see me so you can't know...

*puts on green shirt, gets stick.*


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:30:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Rule 434- all green shirts are now transparent.

subsection B7= the calvin ball is now dans lime. get the lime!


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:30:23 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *mixes gin and tonic to tempt lime into bathing*


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:43:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i don't think i like gin...could we have something else...


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:47:21 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  roofie colada, comin right up


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:49:38 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hey!

*pokes marsteller with stick*


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:55:20 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  tequila, all around! now we've got a use for the calvin ball


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 01:59:35 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  that's good...but what will be our calvin ball now??




 
simonvii Posted: Tue Mar 9 02:20:13 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>hmm, i shouldnt have started that rule...i'm going to get distracted by all the pirate-ness...oh well...

lol, word of the day: "pirate-ness"
heck yeah


 
misszero Posted: Tue Mar 9 05:55:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i vote libra is the new calvin ball.

however, i didn't read all the rules. so i don't know if that's allowed.

but tough titties.

Libra's IT!

*sits back and watches with satisfaction as everyone goes 'stacks-on' Libra*

muahahaha


 
novemberrain Posted: Tue Mar 9 06:57:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  misszero said:
>i vote libra is the new calvin ball.
>
>however, i didn't read all the rules. so i don't know if that's allowed.
>
>but tough titties.
>
>Libra's IT!
>
>*sits back and watches with satisfaction as everyone goes 'stacks-on' Libra*
>
>muahahaha

rule 1.3. A player may use the Calvinball in any way the player see fits, from causal injury to self-reward.

Oh libra, you're in trouble now...


 
misszero Posted: Tue Mar 9 07:06:13 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  you were unaware of my intentions?

oh dear

*smirks*


 
trogdor57 Posted: Tue Mar 9 07:28:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Heh, heh, I love "Calvin and Hobbes," even when I was really young. It's part of how I increased my vocabulary.

Oh, yeah, I declare all those whose names have a Q in it must sing the Q song.

"My name has a Q, it really really sucks!"

Take it away!


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 11:15:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  what! I go to sleep and wake up to find out that i've been named the Calvin ball?

*pouts*


 
novemberrain Posted: Tue Mar 9 11:18:06 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>what! I go to sleep and wake up to find out that i've been named the Calvin ball?
>
>*pouts*

That'll teach you to fall sleep. :)


 
addi Posted: Tue Mar 9 12:57:00 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>what! I go to sleep and wake up to find out that i've been renamed Calvin Ball?
>
>*pouts*

Now that would suck. I'll still call you Libra


 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Mar 9 13:58:40 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  And I shall call you "that pretty redhead with a fine behind"
:-)


 
libra Posted: Tue Mar 9 14:33:53 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>And I shall call you "that pretty redhead with a fine behind"
>:-)

its not red!


 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Mar 9 15:11:22 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>ifihadahif said:
>>And I shall call you "that pretty redhead with a fine behind"
>>:-)
>
>its not red!

ok "reddish" then !


 
marsteller Posted: Tue Mar 9 17:33:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *grabs the calvinball, runs to fortress of solitude*


 
marsteller Posted: Wed Mar 10 01:30:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  damn....i've been hiding for quite some time....anybody out there?


 
libra Posted: Wed Mar 10 02:15:16 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  seeing as i am the calvinball, and i'm in the fortress of solitude with marsteller, i'd better get going...

*sneaks out of fortress when marsteller is distracted by a butterfly, runs out onto field, trips on a wicket (getting twelve points in the process) and climbs a tree...*


 
dan632 Posted: Wed Mar 10 03:06:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  my dog smiles with it's tail!


 



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