|GT Space Trek
||Posted: Wed Mar 10 22:58:01 2004
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||Space Trek - The Interactive Sci-Fi Show
(by the Shrine of Insanity
The starship Enterprise travels soundlessly through space towards the planet Ur-Anus where they are to rendezvous with the alien race of BeerGutuss. Suddenly...alarms begin to go off.
Mat J: Captain Aeon! We are in big trouble! The evil leader of the BeerGutus have decided to attack us!
Aeon: What? You mean...Libra is attacking us?
Mat J: Yes! If we do not surrender Libra is going to kidnap us and keep us as sex slaves to fulfil their freakish fetish for...
Aeon: Oh no not...
Mat J: Yes. Libra seeks to convert us to the side of evil to fulfil their Sheep fetish...
Aeon: We must not tolerate this! Prepare the ship for battle!
Mat J: Okay!
Mat J bursts into action, flicking switch after switch, readying missiles to be fired at the ship of the evil Libra. Within seconds it is ready.
Aeon: Okay do we have our phaser-cannons ready?
Mat J: We most certainly do!
Aeon: Then fire them you ass!
The cannons are fired at the enemy ship, explosions can be heard outside...
Aeon: Do we have a hit? Do we? Do we?
Addison comes dashing into the bridge, wearing only a towel.
Addison: What the hell is happening here? I was taking a peaceful shower when...
The ship rocks violently to the side and the lights flicker. Addison flings themself into Aeon's arms.
Addison: Hold me!
Mat J: We're all going to die!
Addison: We ARE?
Aeon: No. No we're not...it's just that...
The ship rocks again, even more violently...and this time the lights switch off. Except for the glowing control panels there is no light.
Aeon: Oh God help us! We're all going to die!
A voice suddenly booms out of the speakers...
Voice: We will only stop firing when you pledge your alliegence to the ungodly Libra eater of Pubes Jello and vow to fulfil their absolutely terrible Sheep fetish!
Addison: No! Oh God no I'd never pledge alliance to -
Mat J: Hold on a second did you say that Libra has a Sheep fetish?
Mat J: That's amazing...really...because, well I'm a Sheep fetishist from way back! I just never told you before because...well I was nervous...
Addison and Aeon stare at Mat J with absolute disgust.
Aeon: Well...hey then. Why don't you just take Mat J and leave the rest of us here? Hey?
Voice: Well yes. Yes, I believe that I could do that...
There is a high pitched whistling noise and Mat J disintegrates into nothing as they are beamed aboard Libra's ship for a lifetime of Sheep .
Aeon: Ahem. Well then, now that all of that is sorted out I guess we should continue onto Ur-Anus.
The lights flicker back into life and everything begins to go back to normal...of course once you look past the missing crew member. As this happens Addison steps turns to look at Aeon
Addison: I'd just like to tell you...
Addison: ...I think you're really brave.
Addison leans towards Aeon and plants a kiss on their cheek. The Enterprise begins to pick up speed before shooting off into the darkness of space... In search of their next adventure...
||Posted: Wed Mar 10 23:24:46 2004
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||:: claps :: Bravo! ::cries::
||Posted: Thu Mar 11 00:48:29 2004
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||Friday the 15th
by the shrine of insanity
Dan632: Wow Marsteller, I can't believe your uncle decided to let us use his cabin for the weekend!
Marsteller: Yeah I know, it's pretty excellent isn't it. Did you bring the booze?
Miss Zero: Yeah I've got it sweety.
Miss Zero hugs Marsteller tightly.
JQ: It looks like something from a horror movie. What's the date..?
Marsteller looks at their watch.
Marsteller: Oh my God...you're not going to believe this...it's...friday the...
JQ: Oh no, you're shitting me!
Marsteller: Nope, it is well and truly Friday the...15th!!!
The group burst into laughter.
JQ: Oh you'll all be sorry when you get a knife between your ribs!
Choke: Geez lighten up JQ, we're here to have FUN.
So they all enter the little wooden cabin nestled between the trees, ready for a weekend of liquor swilling excitement. Then, as night begins to fall...
Choke: Oh damn it, the phone isn't working!
Dan632: Don't worry about it Choke you can use my mobile it's...in the car. Actually. Marsteller can you get it out for me?
Marsteller: Get off your fat ass and do it yourself!
Dan632: Nah just go Marsteller, and can you grab me some chips as well? I left them in the car as well.
Marsteller gets up out of their seat and groans.
Marsteller: Alright, alright, I'm going...
Miss Zero: Marsteller?
Miss Zero: Be careful out there.
Trogdor: Yeah, be careful there might be...ghoulies and ghosties remember. It IS Friday the 15th after all...
Marsteller leaves to go out to the car.
Dan632: Who wants another beer?
Everybody answers yes and Trogdor walks into the kitchen to get some. Behind them, the laughter of the others as they watch television can be heard. Suddenly, the phone rings. Without thinking Dan632 picks it up...
Voice: Hello Trogdor...
Dan632: Who is this?
Voice: The question isn't WHO am I...it's WHERE am I...
Dan632: Well then where...ARE you?
Choke: Who is it?
Dan632 turns to face Choke who has just entered the room.
Choke takes the phone from Trogdor and listens.
Choke: The line is dead Trogdor...just like I said, it's not working...you must be flipping out. Let's just get some beers and get out of here...
Choke: No buts about it. Come on.
They enter the room at the same time as Marsteller does.
Marsteller: I found the chips but no phone. Sorry. Where's JQ?
Miss Zero: They went to the toilet...about...five minutes ago now I think...
Choke: They must have a case of the trots!
Choke: So where's the phone then? I need to ring my mum! I promised her that I would.
Trogdor: It must be in my bag or something. I'll get it out for you in a minute.
Choke: Yes, good, thank you.
Marsteller: Well, I think I'm going to retire to the privacy of my own room for a while.
Miss Zero: I'm coming too!
Trogdor: You'd better not have any sex. You'll be the first two the killer gets if you do!
Miss Zero: Sex? What's that?
The group begin to disperse to their own rooms, some holding beers. Others holding each other. Dan632 decides to tell JQ that everyone is going to bed.
Dan632: Hey? JQ? You in there? We're going to bed is all, thought you should know. JQ you listening to me? JQ?
Dan632 gently presses the toilet door and finds that it slides easily open until...it meets with the dead flesh of JQ's leg. A knife is protruding from their chest and their eyes stare vacantly at the toilet door. Dan632 screams.
Voice: You didn't see a thing.
Dan632 spins around to see a figure standing in a loose fitting red shawl that looks suspiciously like a curtain. In the killers hands is a Ludwig which they wield dangerously.
Voice: It's the END of the line for you.
Meanwhile...in another part of the log cabin...
Miss Zero: Mmm, this is great, we have all this time to ourselves...
Marsteller and Miss Zero roll around on the bed together for a few moments before an ear-shattering scream comes from the lower levels. Marsteller leaps up from the bed.
Marsteller: Wait here. I'd better go and check. I'll be right back.
Miss Zero: Oh don't say that. Please!
Marsteller: Don't worry. I will be.
Marsteller appears on the landing and sees Trogdor and Choke already running down the stairs.
Marsteller: What happened!
As they all round the corner they see the bodies of JQ and Trogdor, lying in a collective pool of crimson...
Marsteller: Oh...shit...oh...no...Oh my God. Trogdor we need to call the police where's your phone?
Trogdor dashes to the family room and searches madly in their bag.
Trogdor:I can't find it anywhere! It must still be in the car! I'll go look.
Choke: I'll look upstairs, it might be up there.
As everything threatens to spiral out of control Marsteller rests their head against the wall. Struggling to keep dinner in their stomach. Then...they see Trogdor's mobile lying under Choke's top, it has been cracked down the middle and doesn't work. The pieces start to fit together...
Marsteller: Choke had the phone all along. Which means that the normal phone DOES work...
Marsteller dashes into the kitchen and picks up the phone. Then, they hear the screams from upstairs.
Marsteller: Miss Zero!
Tears streaming down their face, Marsteller presses the 9. Then the 1. Then...
Choke: Not so fast!
Marsteller turns to see Choke holding a Hif's Thong against Trogdor's neck.
Choke: You see? Now I'm in control. Your precious Miss Zero is dead so don't even worry about them anymore. Your mind has to be right here. Right NOW...put the phone down or else Trogdor gets it.
Miss Zero: I beg your pardon?
Miss Zero appears from behind Choke and Dan632. Miss Zero's top is smeared with blood, but in their hands is a chainsaw. A chainsaw that is now pressed into the back of Choke's head.
Miss Zero: Now who's in control? Marsteller you can call the police now. Or better yet, call Choke's mum. You did have to call her anyway didn't you Choke?
And so it ends...but does it really?
||Posted: Thu Mar 11 01:34:20 2004
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||yeah man....im all about the liquor swilling
||Posted: Thu Mar 11 02:01:46 2004
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||What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand New GT World Order you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Resistance made up of Chanz's Renegade with help from Mat J's Stoners.
The conspiracy first started during The Destruction of the Vatican in Rome. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including The birth of Mick Jagger.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Nose Picking.
They want to sheep fuck Cult of the Thong and imprison resisters in Antartica's Hut using X-wings.
In order to prepare for this, we all must give them the Resistance Salute. Since the media is controlled by Addison we should get our information from Ifihadahif.
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