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Aeon's Dilemma
Aeon Posted: Fri Mar 12 00:04:20 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  So here's the deal. I was best friends with a girl and she had a boyfriend and well I started to like her more than a friend and I told her and was always saying, "Break up with him and go out with me." and she said "no." So I got pissed off and said a bunch of things I shouldn't have, mainly that I didn't want to be her friend anymore if she wouldn't date me. (I was a douchebag, I know) Now she won't talk to me no matter how much I apologize. What can I do?


 
libra Posted: Fri Mar 12 00:48:14 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  That's rough Aeon...I don't know what to say. It might take some time before she's able to be friends again...I know that now, things still arent the same between me and the guy who really liked me but I didnt like him...

Just give it some time, be available, be nice and caring, but don't be too pushy...be your old self and maybe she'll realize that she misses your friendship...


 
kurohyou Posted: Fri Mar 12 00:56:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon,

Depending on how long its been since the fall out, she may just need a little time. Time to assimilate and sort out what has happened, and time to look at what you meant to her as a friend.

There's a decent chance that she may not only be confused right now, but feel a bit betrayed. In her mind I'm sure your friendship was very valuable. But once that line between "friends" and "more than friends" gets crossed, unless both parties are on the same page, no only do things get awkward, but its difficult to go back. I'm sure after some time you can reassemble parts of the friendship, but once that line is crossed it seems to alter things for quite sometime.

Of course I'm not sure I'm one to offer advise on this topic. I fell in love with my best friend 7 years ago and I'm now married to her. Our marriage has not been the best, very rocky at times, and I told her the other day while we were talking that if I had one wish, it wouldn't be to fix the marriage, but to simply be friends again, as we once were.

At present I don't know anyway to go back once that line is crossed. My advise to you would be to give it some time, but prepare yourself for the fact that when things recover, they may not be as they once were.

But if you find a way to "go back" by all means share your secret.

Hang in there.


 
mat_j Posted: Fri Mar 12 05:23:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm gonna have to go with time too, i fell out with my best friend in the last year school and it was only after a year of her dropping out of uni that we became friends again.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Mar 12 09:07:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hey Libra, you're like wow ! gorgeous !


 
libra Posted: Fri Mar 12 10:22:17 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>Hey Libra, you're like wow ! gorgeous !

that's me sitting on the computer...looking at something on GT probably...


 
Maya Posted: Fri Mar 12 18:53:32 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon, as someone who has just been rejected i can sympathise babe, you ARE gonna have to give it time, maybe explain that what you were feeling see how she responds. Dont forget tho, if you two WERE bestfriends then you still will be. Hell, backpeddle and make a joke out of it...

BTW....libra you ARE hot!


 
dan632 Posted: Fri Mar 12 19:13:30 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  give it time dude, you are prolly both feeling weirded out as all shit, u perhaps, because she rejected you and you feel like nuthing to her which sux; and her because she was already with someone and you tried to get her to break up with this guy and go with you, she might be feeling like you don't care about her, she prolly really like(s)(d) this guy and for u to come along and try to tell her that u r better prolly got her cut deep. she'll come around dude dun worry, she'll see that your intentions were good in time.


 
addi Posted: Fri Mar 12 21:24:09 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Addi thinks:
jesus! I wish I was still dating!!

Jesus! I'm so f**king happy I'm not still dating!

I'm with Maya and Dan on this. Don't press it and time will help.


 
antartica Posted: Fri Mar 12 23:54:30 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>that's me sitting on the computer...looking at something on GT probably...

whoa... mama...
hubba hubba...


 
Paulo Posted: Sun Mar 14 19:06:46 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  As someone who regularly falls for female friends/the wrong person I'll throw in my 2 pence/3.59886 Cents.

As everyone else has said give it time. You are going to want to talk to her before then and boy the urge is going to be hard to resist.

I was in the same position pretty much a year ago. I told this girl I couldn't handle being just a friend. And we had a series of huge arguments over two months that resulted in us becoming friends again abomut 5 times.

After that we became really good friends, but I made it clear to her that I didn't want to hear about her boyfriend. And soon enough my prediction came true to the letter and it ended.

But to this day I don't want to hear about who she kisses every weekday (yes every weekday) I'm glad she is legendarily rigid when it comes to sex otherwise i'd probably kill people. Recently i've realised that I can't handle being that close of a friend to someone I still care about so I'm ignoring her as best as I can.

Is that the grown up way to go about it? Hell no. My advice to you is to wait a while, re-establish contact with her and apologise, but don't let her pretend that your feelings aren't there and that they don't exist.

Be there for her, through everything, bite your lip if she talks about her boyfriend and it annoys you. And soon enough she'll realise he's a prick and will hopefully realise what's she's been looking for all along was the person who is always there but she never realised it.


 



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