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Cockroaches
marsi Posted: Sun Mar 14 06:23:30 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  This is question, that for me doesn't have one answer. My first reaction would be scream and ran away, and then I would try one of the options
Smack/Stamp on it
Spray it
Get someone to kill it
And I know for certain that 3 options are out of the question:
Grab it
Ignore it
Feed it


 
misszero Posted: Sun Mar 14 06:27:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  yeah, I was kinda indecisive about this poll. i used to be such a girl when it came to cockroaches, but now I'm more relaxed....

**


 
addi Posted: Sun Mar 14 09:05:44 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  misszero said:
>yeah, I was kinda indecisive about this poll. i used to be such a girl when it came to cocks, but now I'm more relaxed....

whenever i hear a bone chilling scream here i know it's either Earl our neighbor raking leaves naked again, or a cockroach. I'm aways amazed at the terror they seem to strike in females. It's like they're 6 feet tall and running towards them like attilla the hun yelling, "i'm gonna abuse your body, lady!"
I find the closest shoe and squish them.
since I don't hunt animals, it's the closest i'll ever get to big game hunting.

*i'm very appreciative of Ms. Oh's wonderful sense of humor.




 
novemberrain Posted: Sun Mar 14 10:05:22 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
It's like they're 6 feet tall and running towards them like attilla the hun yelling, "i'm gonna abuse your body, lady!"


Ever see the movie 'Mimic?' 6 foot tall bugs in that movie.

I just squish them. They are gross, but they hardly instill fear (for me, anyway.)


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Mar 14 10:05:37 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I used to kill them until I saw the movie "Joes Apartment", and saw the error of my ways.
Now I usually try to make sure they have plenty to eat.


 
antartica Posted: Sun Mar 14 10:32:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>I used to kill them until I saw the movie "Joes Apartment", and saw the error of my ways.
>Now I usually try to make sure they have plenty to eat.

LMAO!!!

"welcome to joes apartment...."


 
addi Posted: Sun Mar 14 11:22:09 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  how some of us respond to cockroaches:

Hif: asks each one what their views of Bush are. If they answer wrong he flashs them in his thong, and they die of fright. if they answer right he gives them a tax break and passes them a joint

ant: hoping to avoid pissing them off he pretends they aren't there.

addi: he immediately squishs them, but has a liberal guilt attack afterward and sends food crumbs to the relatives of the deceased.

marsteller: first he tells them to "FUCK OFF, then he squishes them with a banana.

Christophe: First he reads them his latest poem, then he squishes them for looking confused afterwards.

chanz: he interogates them under a bright light. if they know too much about the resistence he tortures them.

Dan632: he screams something incomprehensible at them like, "don't pass the watchman!" they freeze tring to figure out what he said, then he squishes them.

mat_j: he puts them in the tub with him when he's soaking and re-enacts the English battle with the Spanish Armada.

Libra: yells for her father to kill them, unless it resembles Johnny Depp.

Novrain: puts them alive in sealed envelopes and mails them to Ludwig.

mesh: sticks them on fly paper, lays it out on the road, and repeatedly runs over them on his motorcycle, yelling, "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!".

misszero: insults them to get them all pissed off and then puts two of them in a small enclosed ring to watch cockroach fights.

DaveHill: superglues them to his dartboard and plays a game of Roach500.

Sweet P: doesn't ever have to deal with them cuz it's too cold for them in canada. frequently has to kick polar bears out of her kitchen though.

trogdor: puts them in a bottle and brings them to church so they can hear this weeks sermon and repent.

marsi: feeds them to her cat.

Paulo: puts them in clear beer bottles and sells them at the streetcorner as Cocks in a Bottle.

JQ: makes them slaves and puts them to work by running on the wheel that generates electricity for his evil lair.



 
novemberrain Posted: Sun Mar 14 11:36:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hehe

nice, addi. :)


 
DaveHill Posted: Sun Mar 14 12:01:17 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  You make me look like a sadist.





How did you find out?


 
simonvii Posted: Sun Mar 14 12:17:21 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  funniest cockroach story is from "family guy":

hotel guy:"and here's the bathroom, but there's some bad roackes in there."
(opens door, 2 huge cockroaches standing in bandanas with knives)
1st cockroach (mexican accent): "hey man close the door!"
2nd cockroach (same accent): "hey man, i cut you! i cut You!"
(door closes)
Brian the dog: "those are some bad roaches."
hotel guy: "i blame the schools"


 
addi Posted: Sun Mar 14 13:09:39 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  a few missed souls:


Simon: waits till he's caught ten of them and then lines them up in rows and plays Simon says. when they mess up he squishes them.

Asswipe: says something really nasty to them, which they misinterpret as a compliment and stop to thank him, then he squishes them.

SntSaturn: Gently captures the females and sets them free outside. Gently captures the males, tapes them to pop bottle rockets and lights them. Sometimes says, "Ohhhhhhhh" when they esplode good, and mumbles something about men.



 
addi Posted: Sun Mar 14 13:19:24 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose: Tries to reason with them hoping that they'll see the errors of their ways. tries to understand exactly why they're in his house and what their motivations are.

Maya: cockroaches don't mess with Maya


 
libra Posted: Sun Mar 14 13:20:38 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  haha, thats exactly what i would do addi...although we don't have cockroaches...but that's what i do when there's a spider on the wall..."DAD! THERE'S A SPIDER IN MY ROOM AND HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"...i do feel guilty afterwards...


 
Kira Posted: Sun Mar 14 13:31:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I dunno if I should complain that Addi forgot me. I've been known to complain when he remembers me.

When I find I cockroach I grab it with a tissue and throw it in the trash... but if it's in my bedroom I'll yell at it for a while, "What the hell do you think you're doing, I should file charges, this is MY room, do you hear me?! What's wrong with you you peice of @#%@?!"

I really like the poll, it cracked me up.

*Slinks back into the shadows.*


 
addi Posted: Sun Mar 14 13:46:16 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  sorry sailovzi.
If I would have wrote one it would have gone something like this...

sailovzi:
Cockroach #1: Run, Run! it's a human!!!!
Cockroach #2: don't worry, it's just a silly female. She'll run away screa... (Sailovzi's fist comes down on roach #1)
Cockroach #2: Run, Run! it's a libertarian female!


 
Paulo Posted: Sun Mar 14 17:08:30 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hmm cock in a bottle. That sounds good, cock in a bottle, cock in a bottle. I find cock the word that gets dirtier every time you repeat it. Cock.




 
SntSaturn Posted: Sun Mar 14 20:15:44 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sailovzi said:
>I dunno if I should complain that Addi forgot me. I've been known to complain when he remembers me.


It's ok. He forgot me too.


 
Maya Posted: Sun Mar 14 20:40:35 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:

>
>Maya: cockroaches don't mess with Maya

id probably end up falling in love with them!!! kidding....i was WAY to happy at being included in your story..
btw...last time i say a cockroach i got so stressed i cried and had a panic attack.....eeek! i dont do bugs


 
iggy Posted: Sun Mar 14 22:45:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i hate roaches.

i was doing some work in a sewer with biohazard waste before and i saw roaches from hell.

they were the size of my fists and i saw a lot of albino ones too. somehow the biohazard shit altered them somewhat and without the light something happened to them.

we went up to get blowtorches and torched them to roach hell.



 
misszero Posted: Sun Mar 14 22:49:24 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  chanz said:

>we went up to get blowtorches and torched them to roach hell.

reminds me of that scene in arachnophobia..... did they squeal?


 
iggy Posted: Sun Mar 14 22:52:18 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  can't hear.
had ear plugs on in my biohazard suit.

i hate insects. all of them


 
iggy Posted: Sun Mar 14 23:06:00 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mindless fact.

i experimented with different ways to kill a roach.

somehow my mom's chanel no.5 works the best. a drop of that shit, it died in a few seconds.

but i prefer to pluck their legs out and stake those bastards and finish those bastards by burning them with a magnifying glass.


hmm good idea for the resistance's torture techniques


 
DaveHill Posted: Mon Mar 15 03:50:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  You really ought to make some movies about your daily life man, geez it's weird!
Just like we all love it, i know.


 
iggy Posted: Mon Mar 15 05:05:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  who?


 
mat_j Posted: Mon Mar 15 06:27:24 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  >mat_j: he puts them in the tub with him when he's soaking and re-enacts the English battle with the Spanish Armada.

Can we make it the Battle of Coral Sea instead?


>Hmm cock in a bottle. That sounds good, cock in a bottle, cock in a bottle. I find cock the word that gets dirtier every time you repeat it. Cock.

hey Paulo COCK..... heheheh cock would you like a slice of cock mrs. Partridge mawahahahhaha


 
mat_j Posted: Mon Mar 15 07:47:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't think i've ever seen a live cockroach only a small dead one in formaldahyde in biology


 
libra Posted: Mon Mar 15 10:09:32 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've seen two cockroaches. When we were in Hawaii, and one in San Francisco...but we don't have them here.


 
FN Posted: Mon Mar 15 10:33:39 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Cockroaches are actually one of the best survivalists in nature.

And along with scorpion's the most radioactiveity-resistant animals on earth, they are even found in the exploded nuclear reactor in chernobyl.




The only 'good' way to kill a cockroach is to freeze it to death, otherwise if you crush or gas it the eggs might still hatch and when decapitated a cockroach can live on untill it dies of hunger.


 
libra Posted: Mon Mar 15 10:56:39 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ew ew ew ew ew ew

christophe i did not need to know that...(about the decapitated cockroaches...)

ew *shivers*


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Mar 15 11:06:28 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  king Thong decree : Henceforthe, Christophe will be known as "Doctor Cockroach"


 
addi Posted: Mon Mar 15 11:16:30 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dr. Cock Roach said:

>The only 'good' way to kill a cockroach is to freeze it to death,

That's why i keep a tank of liquid nitrogen by my bed at night. If anything moves I freeze it. you need to be careful though if you're sleeping naked or have pets.




 
FN Posted: Mon Mar 15 11:24:17 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>christophe i did not need to know that...(about the decapitated cockroaches...)
>


I find that rather amazing.


Decapitated cockroaches can live on for up to 12 days.


And you thought a decapitated chicken that runs around was cool.


 
antartica Posted: Mon Mar 15 12:56:51 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>I find that rather amazing.

>Decapitated cockroaches can live on for up to 12 days.

i know some cockroaches on 2 legs... wonder how long they would live without a head...


 
sweet p Posted: Mon Mar 15 19:42:30 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:

>Sweet P: doesn't ever have to deal with them cuz it's too cold for them in canada. frequently has to kick polar bears out of her kitchen though.

Right on.
:)


 
sweet p Posted: Mon Mar 15 19:44:00 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  chanz said:

>somehow my mom's chanel no.5 works the best. a drop of that shit, it died in a few seconds.

hahahahh
That's great.




 
antartica Posted: Mon Mar 15 20:04:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mmm... tastes like chicken...


 
Billy Pilgrim Posted: Tue Mar 16 07:57:26 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>libra said:
>>christophe i did not need to know that...(about the decapitated cockroaches...)
>>
>
>
>I find that rather amazing.
>
>
>Decapitated cockroaches can live on for up to 12 days.
>
>
>And you thought a decapitated chicken that runs around was cool.

Did you know a decapitated chicken once lived for a year. They chopped off his head and enough of the brain stem survived for it to operate. They fed it through a funnel or something which would work because birds gird up their food in a gullet thingy which is filled with pebbles that they swallow.


 
Puck Posted: Sat Mar 20 19:50:15 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The roaches at my school were like legendary. They were supposedly the size of an apple and would walk out from underneath a book that was dropped on them. I was told that when they're stepped on, it sounds like you're stepping on 2 packs of crackers and 2 packets of ketchup. Last year, I was sitting in class and somebody was giving a speech and then everybody notices that there're hundreds of baby roaches pouring out of the wall. The teacher ignored it. bitch


 



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