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Maths Statistic
lethal_poppy Posted: Fri Apr 16 08:17:17 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.



LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.



DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and >cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.




 
trogdor57 Posted: Fri Apr 16 09:00:16 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yeah, I think this has already been posted somewhere...


 
addi Posted: Fri Apr 16 09:07:56 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  trogdor57 said:
>Yeah, I think this has already been posted somewhere...

we need to have a quiet talk in the corner about posting etiquette, social skills, and winning friends, trog.


 
novemberrain Posted: Fri Apr 16 10:04:54 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>trogdor57 said:
>>Yeah, I think this has already been posted somewhere...
>
>we need to have a quiet talk in the corner about posting etiquette, social skills, and winning friends, trog.

LOL

and also influencing people to go along with the 'winning friends'


 
choke Posted: Fri Apr 16 21:47:48 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  heh, well iv never seen it :P


 
lethal_poppy Posted: Sat Apr 17 03:48:45 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ooopssy! sorry folks! i haven read tt b4. *ambarassed grin*


 
lethal_poppy Posted: Sat Apr 17 03:49:36 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *tries to flash a megawatt smile*


 
Dancer Posted: Sat Apr 17 06:41:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  interesting...


 
trogdor57 Posted: Sat Apr 17 09:27:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  lethal_poppy said:
>*tries to flash a megawatt smile*

Blinding!!!


 
antartica Posted: Sun Apr 18 05:48:21 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  erh... hopefully without sounding like a fuck wit... i think i've posted this here before yonks ago... but heck... it's a good laff...

*its the Rabid Panda!!! he made me do it!!!*


 



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