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Anger
iggy Posted: Mon May 3 04:39:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  do you vent it or do u let keep it in you?

how angry can you get?

what's the intensity and frequency of it?


 
iggy Posted: Mon May 3 04:47:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i try to keep it under control since i went for anger management a couple of years back.

but i still do suffer from it and noone is spared of it.

have managed to keep it under control for the longest time now but i get this uncontrollable insane mode where i really want to reach out and make someone suffer.


so far, breathing is good. it worked so far. noone died yet. but some came close.

i just keep quiet and wait for the feeling to go away. some people love to talk about things, but they just don't like to wait for people to cool off.
some people just confront anger with anger.
some people just insist that u are wrong ... and nothing else.





 
novemberrain Posted: Mon May 3 07:36:00 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I can vent to certain people. My best friend and I get together once a week for dinner and to complain about anything and everything that is bothering us. It's very theraputic.

But I also keep a far amount of it inside.

I can get pretty angry. I've been known to punch walls.


 
antartica Posted: Mon May 3 07:45:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  anger? heh...

no need to lose your cool... i dunno. Chanz.. have you ever seen me really pissed? i think i keep it rather well under control... but on the other hand, that's just another way of saying "i'm bottling it up"...

dun think i've lost my head in a long time, but one thing i am sure really afraid of is i'll pull off a Vesuvious when i do... *sigh*...


 
addi Posted: Mon May 3 07:48:32 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i used to hold my anger in, and it would come out eventually in other ways. I think now I'm much better at venting it out at the time and then moving on from there. I find it way too emotionally draining to stay angry at the offending person. Usually it comes out as an angry look, or in cuss words. The few times in my life it's turned into physical violence made me feel like a complete shmuck afterwards. I know I'm capable of going over the edge, but it would take a lot to get me to the violent stage now.

99% of the time my anger comes out when I'm driving, when I have to suffer idiotic drivers that put my life and others lives in danger. I turn into the Hulk, pounding on the steering wheel, turning red, shaking my fist, and let loose a stream of cuss words. Sometimes I wished I had a large microphone attached to my hood, where I could actually share these warm feelings with the guilty drivers.

To be stressed out, angry, tense, whatever, makes you age ten times faster, and I think really lessens the quality of our short life on this earth. I'm so convinced of the connection between the mental and physical that I'm thinking seriously of starting some kind of daily meditation excercise. That's what draws me to Buddhism, and yoga. I think if I really understood the close ties between the two realms, and the impact it had on my well being I would be trying much harder not to let life's daily stresses get a hold on me.

*and people that write too much when they post really piss me off!


 
Paulo Posted: Mon May 3 09:07:08 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hmmm I rarely feel anger in that nothing suprises me anymore, but hey thats what having Pessimism as a superpower does to you.

Normally now slight annoyacn is conveyed by me shaking my fist and lowering my head, something Mat_J knows all too well.

When i'm pissed off but in a non-violent way i just put on my Surfer Rosa Pixies album, for some reason singing to yourself badly in Spanish and weired stuff helps.

When i'm angry to the point where I need to physically release it I either punch the wall in the lame way that I do or play fuck out of my bass. I'm getting a new bass tomorrow thank god!

Paulo


 
DanSRose Posted: Mon May 3 09:19:35 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I take my anger out in writing, but more frequently, I've been having horrible panic attacks, the result of varried frustrations, both anger and sadness being the main ones.


 
libra Posted: Mon May 3 10:17:20 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Growing up with a brother and father with the shortest fuses in the world has taught me to be somewhat calm. With friends and strangers I never seem angry, they think I'm always happy, I'll vent to friends about things i'm annoyed about. I will occasionally get in a big fight with my parents(usually my mom) and sometimes a little one with my brother. I used to fight with my parents a lot more, but I've gotten past it...


 
Maya Posted: Mon May 3 10:18:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  when i was a kid i used to get picked pn a lot a school and was pretty angry most of the time. I never let it out and it would cause extremely painful stomach cramps (still dont know why!!) then i finally learned to deal with my shit and its cool. Sometimes tho i get really angry and i wanna destroy cars, my friends have to calm me down and remind me that crimes and final year at uni dont work. Not much ticks me off, my mum (obviously, im spanish!!) and this one guy who i sleeping with my best friend, he really ticks me off, i often get the desire to go round to his room and break his knee caps....hmmm....maybe i am an angry person!

By the way, good on ya Mara, keep it up, be strong xxx


 
kurohyou Posted: Mon May 3 11:14:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I workout. I've been doing strength training and working on my endurance. I've found that when I don't work out, if things get crazy at home or at work and I start to miss my workouts, my anger builds up. So I've found that even when I'm not angry, its still helping to prevent a build up.

I also write, play with my kids, some times I'll read. But I am just going off the deep end I'll go away by mysel. This weekend I did lose it though in an arguement with my wife and punched the dashboard of our car. I thought I broke my hand at first, and that immediatly put things in perspective again.

When I was in high school I broke my hand twice because I was angry. The first time, I was mad over a girl, my mom came in and started yelling at me and I punched a door jamb. Put a dent in it, but broke my hand. A month after the cast came off I was made again and my mom again was yelling at me and I punched the back of a Ford Pick up truck, Truck didn't move and I broke my hand in the same place again. After that I got my anger in check.

I have stopped drinking when I'm angry in part because of my study of Buddhism, and also because I found that it made the anger worse.


 
FN Posted: Mon May 3 12:24:17 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Several things I can do when angry.

If it's during a weekend I go clubbing and dance the anger away lol

Or I write

Or I listen to music (techno is good for everything :o)

Or I talk to some friends.



Have only hit something out of frustration once as far as I can know. It was something with my ex-gf, I don't even remember what it was all about, fact is though that I was on the phone with her and got pissed off/agressive (which is a very rare thing to happen) and hit the door of our wooden toolshack...several times. (you know, something you put in your yard to put the lawnmower in and stuff like that).

Result was a dent in the wood lol and bleeding knuckles for me.


Now that you mention it I know quite a few people who have broken their hand/fingers/whatever when they hit something out of anger.


 
addi Posted: Mon May 3 13:07:02 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:

>Now that you mention it I know quite a few people who have broken their hand/fingers/whatever when they hit something out of anger.

people are dumb that way. I've know several people (mostly males) that have swung their hand or foot at a hard object. I've really messed up my toes kicking the nearest thing to me when I was angry (like a wrought iron fence). My son put his hand through the bathroom wall after a disagreement with his mother a few months ago. He complained for weeks after that his hand was sore when he touched it. I guess it's better to take it out on an inanimate object rather than another person though.


 
Mark Posted: Mon May 3 14:00:24 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  When I got angry I could do several things

Play a very violent game (killing something on the pc is always better that irl imho and yes I do keep in touch with reality)

Listen to some metal (but sometimes i change to oldschool hardcore)

I only hit a person once. I was (like many others i guess) picked on at school, but mostly only words which I ignored. this guy became physical and I hit him and hit him hard. saw tears in his eyes and stopped.

These days however I find myself more at ease. Although I do need some metal music now and then I usually can control my emotions, not getting anry at all.


 
laurie Posted: Mon May 3 14:04:06 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  when I get angry a feeling of rage and the want to commit extreme violence is quickly changed into complete dispair and wanting to curl up and die. whenever someone does something wrong by someone else I get incredibly depressed by everyone's selfishness (inculding my own) does anyone else not get angry so much as really really sad?
Oops. how morbid.


 
Lost_Soul Posted: Mon May 3 14:48:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I suppose I tend to be the classic example of the ignorant immature male. I too, as everyone else, was picked on in school. Alot of the time I thought I got more than my fair share. Also alot of the time it resulted in fights at school or on the bus. So now when I lose my temper it results in physical threats to who every pissed me off, at times it ends in fights sometimes it doesnt. Im also one of those idiots that shouldnt be alowed to drive. If I see some one that pissed me off pretty bad on the road, I usually dont hesitate to atempt to run them off the road. Sometimes I can hold back blowing up on people but that just ends in harming myself. If I get too disturbed I push my limits with various drugs and drink too much, which usually ends in hurting myself. ex: burning, cutting, and mentally beating myself up..


 
Kira Posted: Mon May 3 15:22:28 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ninety percent of the stuff I get angry over, I don't talk about. Either I'm too proud or too ashamed. Result of this I guess is that I am something of a grouch.

Often I just direct it at myself, then it turns to sadness and eventually fades away. Works pretty well, although I don't suppose it's healthy. Shooting at cans takes the edge off, and that I like, so I do that as well from time to time.

I do have a temper, like most of my family, and I used to scream and throw things and do all that good stuff, but in recent years it all just seems too silly to get angry over, although my feelings remain the same...


 
Mesh Posted: Mon May 3 17:47:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  when I get angry everyone knows about it. I am either agrresive to others or to myself. I cuss, and have been known to break a few things.

Sometimes if I feel like not being mean to others i get a lighter and let the flame burn for a while and then press it on my arm.


its best to just leave me alone when i am angry, and i will cool down and nothing will get broken or no one get hurt(mostly feelings, but in extreme maybe physically). but like chanz sayd, people dont want to leave you alone, they keep "nagging" you or arguing with you or whatever.

i have a short fuse, as they say.


 
FN Posted: Mon May 3 17:51:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>i have a short fuse, as they say.

So you're trying to prove your masculinity with agression? ;o)


 
Mesh Posted: Mon May 3 17:52:45 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  exactly






 
FN Posted: Mon May 3 17:53:39 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>exactly

Hahaha

Nothing left to say to that one :o)


 
Zacq Posted: Mon May 3 19:15:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Somehwere along the line I stopped getting angry. It seems that if you have a problem and can't do anything about it, there is no reason to be angry. And if you can do something about it, you should do it and be happy. Also, I'm pessimistic, so if anything goes wrong I was already prepared for it.


 
sweet p Posted: Tue May 4 01:57:40 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I guess I am fairly laid back. It will take a lot to really really anger me and if you do, you will know it. I am forward about my unhappiness and I will either speak firmly or not at all. This doesn't happen very often. If I am just annoyed or slightly bothered I just try to let it pass.

I have kicked a couple of things to vent my frustration but have only acted in violence a couple of times. When I was younger, a boy on the school bus was continually making fun of my sister. I warned him twice to give it a rest. A few days went by and he made it clear that he wasn't going to give up so when his stop came and he walked passed my seat, I socked him one right on the side of his chin. Also, one time when I was in grade 2, this bully threw a baseball at my head [as well as a few other kids] and tripped me in the hall on the way to the water fountain. On my way back to class, I kicked him in the nuts.



 
lethal_poppy Posted: Tue May 4 02:17:23 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I cry.
Secretly that is.. No one has to know and no one will ever know. Unless I'm caught with the telltale puffy eyes the next day.




 
lethal_poppy Posted: Tue May 4 02:19:13 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  if its a really major one, I tend to shout and scream and swear... and cry. I dunno y, but i noticed that I tend to suffer from spasms and I'll feel very very sickly and faint after sessions like this.

which i think its a good thing after all, cos now my brain has been programmed in such a way that major ANGER=Blackouts. :)

so that serves as a reminder for me to breathe, stay calm and try not to get overly worked up.



 
choke Posted: Tue May 4 04:02:03 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  anger scares me. i cant stand seeing people angry. If its possible i leave when someones angry but if its towards me i stay perfectly, absolutely still. ive found retorting makes them unbearable and flinching makes them violent because they resign themselves to the fact that theyve already caused damage they may as well finish it off. i dont get angry because of the people like me who have limitless reserves of terror towards the human race :P


 
Christian Posted: Tue May 4 06:29:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  when I'm angry I do a verbal "let-go" a barrage of words...but never around anyone...sometimes with friends when I'm angry with them I tell them to "f%$% off" which works real nice, since I'm usually so kind and quiet. lol
For the most part, though, I'm happy, and rarely angry...


 



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