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Rupublican National Convention
addi Posted: Tue May 18 14:24:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Just for laughs (and a few tears). No arguments from this please

I'd post credits but it was passed on to me without the author. Most likely some stinkin' commie liberal : )

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1 Getting your kid a military deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nation's economy.

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous
new cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12: 00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord


 
libra Posted: Tue May 18 14:32:16 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hahahaha

that made me laugh. thanks addi, i needed a nice break from studying for stupid finals...


 
FN Posted: Tue May 18 15:07:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries


It's funny 'cause it's true.


Words can't describe how much even the notion of 'freedom fries' sucks.


 
novemberrain Posted: Tue May 18 15:43:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ahahahahahahahahah

that was great, addi :)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and hide the children. John Ashcroft has informed me the homos are after them...

And if they don't get them, those damn cultist evolutionists will.

;-)


 
Zacq Posted: Tue May 18 17:52:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires

Bush, after the large forest fires in California, said he was going to hire large logging companies (he didn't word it that way) to 'thin the forests' to prevent more fires from spreading, so this one may not be as fabricated as it seems.


 
addi Posted: Tue May 18 18:15:26 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Zacq said:

>Bush, after the large forest fires in California, said he was going to hire large logging companies (he didn't word it that way) to 'thin the forests' to prevent more fires from spreading, so this one may not be as fabricated as it seems.

i laughed at this zacq, but inside i'm shuddering because it isn't all that far from the truth


 
DanSRose Posted: Tue May 18 20:29:58 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  For some reason, that reminded me of something I heard:
If you are gay (or not) and have a fundamentalist Christain conservative or one who just doesn't like gays, call in and say you are sick.
"Hi, sorry Bob. I can't come in today. Yeah, I'm going home with a bad case of the gay. It looks serious. I don't think I can make it in until Monday. Have a good day."


 
addi Posted: Tue May 18 21:06:21 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>For some reason, that reminded me of something I heard:

LMAO!!
not at the joke. that sucked, but it was funny to finally see Mr. Always Serious try to be humorous!
Bravo! Good job Dan

(i think you forgot the word "boss")


 
Mesh Posted: Wed May 19 00:12:02 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:

>
>
>It's funny 'cause it's true.
>


Hahahaha I say that all the time


 
casper Posted: Fri Aug 27 13:10:38 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Democratic National Convention Schedule

Boston, Massachusetts

6:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
6:05 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
6:15 PM - Secular Prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30 PM - Antiwar Concert by Barbara Streisand
6:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
7:00 PM - Tribute to France
7:10 PM - Collect Offerings for al-Zawahri Defense Fund
7:25 PM - Tribute to Germany
7:45 PM - Antiwar Rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
8:30 PM - Terrorist Appeasement Workshop
9:00 PM - Roundtable Discussion of Taxes: "Calling for Higher Taxes on Others While You Pay None"
9:15 PM - Bill & Hillary Clinton Host a Seminar on "The Successful Selling of White House & Air Force One Mementos on eBay"
9:20 PM - Gay Marriage Ceremony (Both Male and Female Couples)
9:30 PM - * Intermission * Special Guest Soloist Jane Fonda
10:00 PM - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10 PM - Reenactment of Kerry's Fake Medal Toss
10:20 PM - Howard Dean Screamfest 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30 PM - Seminar: "The Boy Scouts and Other Paramilitary threats to National Security"
10:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
10:45 PM - Abortion Demonstration (NARAL)
11:00 PM - Multiple Gay Marriage Ceremony (Threesomes, Mixed and Same-Sex)
11:15 PM - 'Maximizing Welfare' Workshop
11:30 PM - 'Free Saddam' Pep Rally
11:50 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
12:00 AM - Kerry-Edwards 2004 Sealed With A Kiss
12:01 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
12:02 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast




 
Mesh Posted: Fri Aug 27 13:48:55 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  LOL I love all the 'Ted Kennedy proposes a toast" entrys. Classic.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Aug 27 15:24:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hilary Clinton pinata is a good idea !


 
Mesh Posted: Fri Aug 27 17:17:03 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  God I'm such a loser :(


 
Mouse Posted: Fri Aug 27 17:27:08 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>God I'm such a loser :(

No you're not meshy. Why would you say such I thing?


 
Puck Posted: Sat Aug 28 01:03:48 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:
>Why would you say such a thing?
Insecurity?

Mesh, you da man.


 



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