You might want to sit down for this.
Weíve had some great times together, you and me. Iím not going to sit here and deny that. But, itís time for me to move onÖIím changing my homepage to Google.
This is hard for me to say, so just bear with me. Weíve really had a great run. Youíve taught me so much and weíve spent so much time together. Iíll never forget the first time I set up my very own email account; or the first time I searched my own name with you; but, above all, Iíll never forget the way you always thought about my needs and what I was searching for Ė you never thought about yourself, and I really respect that. And you were always so excited to see me (I could never resist your carefree exclamation point).
I know you get intimidated by some of the younger, snazzier newcomers. I know you get scared about how your search results donít quite measure up to theirs. Sure, Google can pump out a ton of results Ė I guess thatís part of the attraction Ė but I know that youíre about more than just search results. When Iím gone, donít let that fear get the best of you Ė donít let it control you Ė use it to make you stronger.
They say you never forget your first, and I know now that itís true. But it was never just a physical thing with us Ė it was more than that. And, Iím sorry about the time I used you to search for naked pictures of Britney Spears Ė I never should have put you in that position.
Youíll always be the best Ė Iím not just saying that. I guess thatís why itís been so hard for me to make this decision, but I just need something new; something different. Listen, you provide me with great up-to-date news and information, as well as easy-to-use specialty services, but thatís just not enough anymore. Itís just not enough.
So, whether you like it or not, Iím changing my homepage to Google Ė at home and at work. Itís just something I have to do for myself. In time, I know youíll understand, and I really do believe that this is the best thing for both of us. Iím sorry.
you know, reading that almost brought a tear to my eye?