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news flash from 2029
antartica Posted: Mon Jun 28 10:23:02 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  News flash just in for the year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

85 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lb..

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting Machine


 
Mouse Posted: Mon Jun 28 12:57:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hahaha!
Good stuff, ant. :)


 
novemberrain Posted: Mon Jun 28 13:00:45 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hehehehehe

that was great!


 
Mark Posted: Mon Jun 28 15:54:15 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  lol, very nice :)


 
Zacq Posted: Mon Jun 28 16:46:57 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  George Zubya Bush I see.

Ooh, and how about:
Boston Red Sox win 22nd consecutive World Series to take all-time lead over Yankees.


 
antartica Posted: Tue Jun 29 03:18:21 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *disclaimer

i ripped this off another site... =P

i's not brilliant enough to come up with stuff like this...


 
Christian Posted: Tue Jun 29 14:32:22 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  still "refreshing" shall we say? :-)


 
Mouse Posted: Tue Jun 29 14:56:07 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:
>*disclaimer
>
>i ripped this off another site... =P
>
>i's not brilliant enough to come up with stuff like this...

That's okay, ant. I already knew that anyway. :P Thanks for posting it, me and my dad got a few laughs from it.
He always makes me read things when I start laughing about them...

I was thinking he'd be George Zebrah Bush. ;) (if you don't get it, be thankful)


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Jun 29 17:29:32 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  **********NEWS FLASH*************NEWS FLASH********NEWS FLASH**********NEWS FLASH**********






My nads hurt.


 
addi Posted: Tue Jun 29 18:12:49 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:

>My nads hurt.

in 2029, or right now?


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Jun 29 18:19:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  NOW!


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Jun 29 18:32:16 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I know this has nothing to do with the topic, but I love this site.


http://www.unrv.com/


I love reading about Rome. The early days as a city state, the republic, the empire, its all so facsinating.

Hooray!!

I also like to read about persian and assyrian empires.


 
addi Posted: Tue Jun 29 18:35:06 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Do NOT pour liquid nitrgen on them!

try dipping them in whipped cream and do your best to locate that blonde cheerleader in Varsity Blues


 
addi Posted: Tue Jun 29 18:36:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  nitrogen


 
Mouse Posted: Wed Jun 30 02:16:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  O.O
Do we want to know why, mesh?


I set the tone with an obscure reference and it's quickly followed. *tsk* Bad mouse.


 
addi Posted: Wed Jun 30 07:23:46 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:
>O.O
>Do we want to know why, mesh?
>

My best guess is that it's their way of telling mesh they don't want to join the army.

Either that or his shorts are too tight


 
antartica Posted: Wed Jun 30 07:26:58 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  oh man... then ol'Messhys gotta keep clean shaven!


 



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