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Fear and Death
kurohyou Posted: Mon Jun 28 19:23:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've been having difficulty getting the people I work with to engage me on any topics of interest, most of them are too self absorbed it seems, or have their minds elsewhere.

The orginal question came when someone told me of someone they knew who was sick, and possibly dying, and the fact that they seem to be afraid to die.

So my question was why are people afraid to die, and are you afraid of death?

My response: I don't really know why people are afraid to die. It seems to me that there is no real proof for what happens to us after we die, so if we don't know what happens, why worry. Hell, in my mind there are more reasons to fear getting up in the morning and starting your day than there are for fearing dying. The media does a great job of letting us know all the things that can get us while we are alive.

Personally, I don't fear death. It seems to me that death is harder on the living. Seeing someone you love suffer before dying is not something to look forward to yet it happens. Knowing that it happens doesn't make it easier to deal with either. I don't wish to go through that and I don't wish it for anyone else. But it seems to me that death is a part of life, the last chapter so to speak.

I like the line in "Hook" when Hook and Peter Pan are dueling.

Hook: Prepare to die Peter Pan
Pan: To die would be a great adventure.
Hook: Death's the only adventure you've got left.

That's how I try to look at death, as an adventure when it comes. But I don't have any good reason to fear it.




 
addi Posted: Mon Jun 28 19:43:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  kurohyou said:

> Hell, in my mind there are more reasons to fear getting up in the morning and starting your day than there are for fearing dying.

> It seems to me that death is harder on the living.

Everything you say makes sense.

Maybe because death is a concept that doesn't fall within the realm of our experienced senses perfecty good logic, like yours, may seem inadequate to many people.
I think it's the "unknowness" of it all; the utter finality of the event that can summon anxiety and fear amoung the living. Separation (maybe permanently) from everything you know and love can be a stress raiser if you dwell on it.


 
sweet p Posted: Mon Jun 28 21:13:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think that some people mistake a fear of death with the sadness they experience when thinking about leaving behind the world, their loved ones, and all the things they enjoy.

I would selfishly prefer that the world [meaning MY world] not continue without me. I don't like to think about my family and what would happen to them. Even stupid things like what would happen to my bike, or who would fill in on all of my little jobs... Would people remember me a year later? Who would be sad to see me go?
All these questions are left unanswered and just thinking about them make me sad.
I don't think that this means I am afraid of death or dying. It is not so much an anxiety as it is just an extremely melancholy realisation. Really, I just actually love my life and it is not something I want to think about giving up just yet.


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Jun 28 21:56:42 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think you are all making good sense.


Me, I dont fear death, its something everyone has to have happen to them. Why fear the inevitable? Seems rather silly to me.

I more fear the way that I might die, not death itself. I fear dying in a prolonged pain and agony.


And addi, is that a picture of you?


 
addi Posted: Mon Jun 28 22:07:32 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:

>I more fear the way that I might die, not death itself. I fear dying in a prolonged pain and agony.

good point, Mesh. (or watching someone close to you go through it)


>And addi, is that a picture of you?

Yeah. very observant of you.
Back when I was Sweet P's age and studying in England. Ran across it the other day doing some cleaning. I was such a hippie


 
Mouse Posted: Tue Jun 29 00:43:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I fear death, every animal does. We're supposed to, if we don't fear that what's left to be afraid of really?
Well, there are lots of things that aren't really likely to happen to you that you could fear, but all of them wouldn't mean much if you didn't fear death. What do you care if you get mugged if you'd not afraid of the mugger killing you?
However, I do control my fear of death. Maybe less so then I used to, because I still grip the door handle when something gleams on the side of the road. But you can't let yourself stop living because you're afraid to die, I know I have the kind of personality that could end up doing that if I don't push myself.
I hate to think of myself dying, slowly or quickly, with my loved ones near me or alone. Life is a hard thing to even think about letting go of for me.


 
antartica Posted: Tue Jun 29 02:23:38 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  holy kaboodles!!!

now i've seen Addi's hippie piccy... i fear death no more!

ok ok... sorry about that jibe Addi =P

strangely enough kurohyou, that is one quote from J.M. Barrie that i love...

"to die would be an awfully great adventure"

i definitely do not long for it, but what is the point of fearing it?

we will all head that way one day, and remember it's not the destination, but the journey


 
choke Posted: Tue Jun 29 05:42:37 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  im selfish. i dont mind my own death, but everyone elses around me.


 
addi Posted: Tue Jun 29 07:14:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:

>now i've seen Addi's hippie piccy... i fear death no more!

glad i could help, ant


It's one thing to discuss death in the abstract, as something hypothetical that will happen in the distant future.

I can say with complete honesty that if the doc informed me today that I had an incurable terminal disease, and only had a few months to live at the longest, I'd be REALLY pissed and sad!

That tends to clarify how I really feel about death.




 
antartica Posted: Tue Jun 29 07:37:55 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  go read "Tuesdays with Morrie"

that book changed my thinking a lot...


 
antartica Posted: Tue Jun 29 07:39:27 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  another good book to read is

"mr.god, this is anna"

(was recommended by chanz)

truely about the journey and not the destination


 
addi Posted: Tue Jun 29 07:41:40 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:
>go read "Tuesdays with Morrie"
>
>that book changed my thinking a lot...

how so?


 
antartica Posted: Tue Jun 29 07:49:56 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>how so?

a man gets told he has a certain time more to live... and then of course he dies...

so would you choose to die before you stop breathing? or live to the max before you expire?

won't make it a spoiler... i've read the book several times, and each time i still find new lessons.

same with Mr.God this is Anna...


p/s was kidding about the piccy Addi =P


 
addi Posted: Tue Jun 29 08:05:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:

>so would you choose to die before you stop breathing? or live to the max before you expire?

I think i'd choose to live to the max, but the initial shock of finding out would still, for me, be extremely difficult to deal with.

sound like good books.


>p/s was kidding about the piccy Addi =P

Oh, I know. lol no offense taken at all bro
I put it in for a good laugh (or a good cry). Back then people would confuse me for George Harrison


 
antartica Posted: Tue Jun 29 08:11:09 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  haha... you make ol Georgie look like a wimp! =P (bless his tripping soul)

actuali Mr.God....... is slightly different. but still a good read =)


 
jennemmer Posted: Tue Jun 29 12:35:12 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>antartica said:
>
>>so would you choose to die before you stop breathing? or live to the max before you expire?
>
>I think i'd choose to live to the max, but the initial shock of finding out would still, for me, be extremely difficult to deal with.

I think I'd live to the max. To a certain extent I already try. Both my grandparents on my mom's side died at 60 which seems very young. I decided about that time that I was going to do my best to do all the things I definitely wanted to accomplish by 60, none of this waiting to retire business. I just wish travelling wasn't so expensive :p.


 
Christian Posted: Tue Jun 29 12:49:54 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I FEAR


 
kurohyou Posted: Tue Jun 29 13:21:48 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I would absolutly live to the last breath. I would definatly go down fighting depending on the situtation.

I guess one of the things in my mind when I think about death, its the actual moment of death. That moment when your life force is gone and you are "officially" dead. That exact moment I don't fear.

Now I'm not thrilled about the prospect of dying in a horrible way, the suffering or what have you. I'm contemplating joining the national gaurd, or the army reserves, essentially putting myself into a position where I would be putting myself in harms way, and where the potential for a painful death exists.

That was something that I thought long and hard about during my decision process. I have since dealt with that, which has in turn helped me to fear death even less. My only questions about it now focus on other reasons.

Its seems to me that the moment of death is an instant, its the dying leading up to that which I don't look forward to, yet I don't fear it.


 
Mark Posted: Tue Jun 29 14:23:43 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I do not fear death itself, I fear that I could not have made a difference before I die. To be honest, I don't really care about life anyway. The only reason I still live (or it is the reason I didn't continue on some horrible thought) is that it would hurt the people close to me.

I feel fear when I think about the possibility people close to me can die. A few years back I realized my parents will be gone someday. Since then I feel a bit empty, knowing that the people who where always there, cannot be there anymore...


 
Zacq Posted: Tue Jun 29 14:55:28 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I fear death because death is an eternity of nonexistance.

Fortunately I can usually distract my mind from it by thinking about reruns of Whose Line is it Anyway? (the American version, which, for once, is actually better)


 
Mouse Posted: Tue Jun 29 15:02:48 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Zacq said:
>Fortunately I can usually distract my mind from it by thinking about reruns of Whose Line is it Anyway? (the American version, which, for once, is actually better)

Yay Whose Line! Fun fun!
Drew Carey is great.


 
antartica Posted: Wed Jun 30 04:43:30 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  MY dead Love came to me, and said:‘God gives me one hour’s rest.
To spend upon the earth with thee: How shall we spend it best?
‘Why, as of old,’ I said, and so We quarrell’d as of old.
But when I turn’d to make my peace That one short hour was told.
- Stephen Phillips


If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.
- Benjamin Franklin


To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they know quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?
- Socrates-Quoted in Plato's Apology


To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.
- Marquis de Vauvenargues


 
samuel Posted: Wed Jun 30 07:12:38 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  some very valid points made..

'He who doesnt fear death only dies once' ~Giovanni Falcone

'We cannot banish dangers, but we can banish fears. We must not demean life by standing in awe of death' ~David Sarnoff

probably 2 of my favorite short quotes on this subject.

i dont fear death and i dont fear dying, i only fear the thought of leaving behind people that i love. I;m sure its the same for a lot of people.. its not the act of leaving this world, its the aftermath.. the sorrow that you will leave behind.

The thing that interests me the most however, is when you see people or hear of people on thier death bed, and they know they're about to die. I've always wondered what that Actually feels like. The few seconds before you pass away, knowing that this is your time to leave.

and in a way, i hope i can experiance that feeling. The ultimate of time outs!

hm just a few thoughts..


 
antartica Posted: Wed Jun 30 10:07:27 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  have had many many relatives pass on, but do not think i have ever been there to see them "go"...

and looking at them after they get dressed up and cleaned up and placed in the casket. they look like it's so restful...

but as samuel has mentioned... i reali wonder what that "last breath" moment is like...


 
ifihadahif Posted: Wed Jun 30 15:57:05 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I have no fear of death, I've already been married twice.
But I am afraid of clowns.


 
libra Posted: Wed Jun 30 15:59:29 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>I have no fear of death, I've already been married twice.
>But I am afraid of clowns.


hehe

I am afraid of clowns, and mimes. Performers with frighteningly colored makeup and big smiles is the general category i guess...


 
kurohyou Posted: Wed Jun 30 23:59:26 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>But I am afraid of clowns.

now that's funny...I could probably start a new thread on this, but what makes clowns so scary? Know so many people who are scared of clowns, I don't get it.

Some people have told me its because I've never seen, or read Steven King's "IT"




 
sweet p Posted: Thu Jul 1 01:15:29 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  kurohyou said:

>Some people have told me its because I've never seen, or read Steven King's "IT"

I haven't read/seen that either.
But I still think clowns are kinda scary.
I think it's the whole perma-smile thing and how you know it's only a fake smile. I dunno...all I can picture is some miserable, crazy, drunk guy who can find nothing to smile about for real, covering his real self up in bright coloured clothing and faking this huge ugly smile and playing with kids who think he's the greatest thing in the world.
It's a disturbing thought for me. But my imgaination DOES get carried away, and I make things up.



 
antartica Posted: Thu Jul 1 03:32:16 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  kurohyou said:
>Some people have told me its because I've never seen, or read Steven King's "IT"


the movie sucked BIG time. but the book was fan-f**king-tastic... couldn't put it down and finished it in just over a day...

...they all float....
.......they all float down here....


 
addi Posted: Thu Jul 1 07:38:07 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Worst reoccurring dreams I had as a child were with a clown calling me from our basement to come down the steps and into the darkness (still gives me chills) This was long before King ever thought of a writing career.

I hates them!


 
misszero Posted: Thu Jul 1 09:01:33 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Zacq said:
>I fear death because death is an eternity of nonexistance.
>
>Fortunately I can usually distract my mind from it by thinking about reruns of Whose Line is it Anyway? (the American version, which, for once, is actually better)

this is kinda how i feel. I think (and don't kill me for holding this opinion, i'm sensitive!) that a lot of people are scared of being meaningless, so they create meaning through religion and love and art and all those things we do that aren't NECESSARY for the survival of our beautiful species, but are what make us 'HUMAN'. And i don't think some of us want to acknowledge that death really might just be the total end of us. to some people (myself included, to a degree) that is PETRIFYING (i love capitals tonight).


 
erikagm Posted: Fri Jul 2 21:06:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I dont fear death in itself.

I mean, some time ago I used to think about dying young and not having accomplished all "I wanted" to do, like having a child, or going to europe...
But then I started to meditate on my beliefs about reincarnation, and how I believe we are placed on earth to meet a certain purpose, to do certain things, and I finally came to the conclusion that, whenever I happened to die, I had already done what I was -meant- to do. I may not have necessarily have done what I -wanted- to, but I -would- have done what I -had- to. (And if you cant follow what I'm saying, don't worry... I'm not sure I can either... It all gets jumbled up in my brain before it comes out)

In any case, I am not afraid of death. HOWEVER, I -am- afraid of dying a -painful- death, or of becoming an invalid before I die. That I do not if I could bear.

So, that's my penny worth of thoughts...


 
choke Posted: Fri Jul 2 22:52:52 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  im noticing many people saying they are afraid of a painful death.. I think i would welcome it. Not in a sick masochist (is that the right word?) kind of way, but because after you die you will never ever feel anything ever again. I think if i was dying in pain, i would still be happy that i could actualy FEEL something, anything. If that makes sense?


 
antartica Posted: Sat Jul 3 03:03:56 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/l02/lifetest.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/a02/age_price.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/a02/age_wisdom.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/c02/complain.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/t02/todie.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/l02/longdead.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/n02/not_being.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/d02/deph_life.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/e02/eternity.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/p02/push40.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/l02/life_creat_yrslf.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/l02/life_is_pain.gif

http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/images/b02/battle_maturity.gif

ok tts too much already... just some here on life and death

for more of this shit goto
http://www.internetbumperstickers.com/front.html


 
Puck Posted: Sat Jul 3 06:44:24 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:
>I still grip the door handle when something gleams on the side of the road.
*hug*

addison said:
>I can say...that I had an incurable terminal disease, and only had a few months to live at the longest, I'd be REALLY pissed and sad!
I'd jump into a volcano. : )

I wouldn't mind dieing if it weren't so inconvenient for everyone else. I'd like to live long enough to produce something (write a book, a script, or something).

Choke: "Think of the sensation as reassurance that you are not dead yet " -JTHM

With all this fear of clowns, I'm reminded of the Krusty-comeback-special.
Addi: "Come out and play, child. Come out and play."

I had a teacher that often commented on the many ways he would prefer not to die. The last one I remember was to be shot, drown while on fire, stabbed, and eaten by a lion.

Goodbye. I am leaving because I am bored. -George Saunders' dying words

...after i kill myself, i'm gone and have nothing to consider anymore. but they - the loved ones - are still around and they will suffer the loss. so kill them so that they will not have to suffer.....

"I think the only reason we die, is because we accept it as an inevitability."-Stewie(stoned)

"Death. The eternal blink. The capricious dance of "now you've stopped moving forever." "...maybe death's just Nature's way of sayin'... "Try again." -The Tick



 
choke Posted: Mon Jul 5 20:13:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Puck said:

>
>Choke: "Think of the sensation as reassurance that you are not dead yet " -JTHM
>

thanks man, u put it in order 4 me :P

its my name on msn now :P


 
Mouse Posted: Mon Jul 5 20:37:35 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Puck said:
>Mouse said:
>>I still grip the door handle when something gleams on the side of the road.
>*hug*
Thanks man. :) *hugs back*
>With all this fear of clowns, I'm reminded of the Krusty-comeback-special.
>Addi: "Come out and play, child. Come out and play."
That Krusty is one scary son of a gun.
>"Death. The eternal blink. The capricious dance of "now you've stopped moving forever." "...maybe death's just Nature's way of sayin'... "Try again." -The Tick
Heh, why didn't that show stick around longer?

Death is one of those things that I come up with new ideas about everytime I reflect on it. Which I try not to do too much.


 
antartica Posted: Tue Jul 6 00:42:18 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  have been wondering for a long time, and i'm rather curious... how would my friend and family react to me dying?

not like in a disease like way, but in a ka-blam way... getting hit by a run away spoon, tree falls on me, plane i'm on drops outta the sky... that kinda thing.

realy wonder what things'd be like..
would they cry? or what? how many people would actually know i'm missing till they see my orbituary, or decide to call me and find out that my mobile's gone dead, call home to find out that i'm not living there anymore (heh)...

y'know... stuff like that, it's been on my mind for a long long time now...


 
Puck Posted: Fri Jul 16 22:28:07 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:
>Thanks man. :) *hugs back*
My therapist sense was tingling.

I just said:
>that ^(pay attention)
"Holy pop culture reference Batman!"

>Death is one of those things that I come up with new ideas about everytime I reflect on it.
Same here, but I think of quotes more than new ideas.


 



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