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Broken promises, the simple man's reply
iggy Posted: Mon Jul 12 00:13:51 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Broken Promises
Jason Quek
19 March 2002

What is a promise of love? And how do you keep it?
I have been pondering over this question for a few weeks now, but have not been able to come to a proper conclusion. And it is nagging at the back of my head, refusing to let up.

A promise of love is, in it's very essence, an oxymoron. It is a lie - the biggest, most vicious lie one could ever tell.

"I'll always love you...".
"I'll never leave you..."
"You'll always be the only one that I love..."

All the things we whisper and share when we are in our relationships, all the promises that we make, hold true only while we are in love. As we fall helplessly into love, we, too, fall helplessly out of it. It is a feeling beyond our control. These promises are beautiful, but the moment the love dies, they shatter into a thousand glass shards. Hurting. Wounding. Killing.

And no matter how hard we might want to keep them, they now count for naught. In fact, keeping a promise of love that has died is a even greater sin.

Now. How do you stop yourself from making promises when you're in love? I don't know either.

So. If someone makes you a promise, listen and smile, for they have the power to make you happy and glow with warmth. But always remember:

One of the most dangerous things you can ask for when it comes to love, is a warranty card.

Make only the promises you can keep.

Chinese singer Faye Wong sings in one of her ethereal laments:

Who does not want me, I do not want
Who does not love me, I do not love
When I turn off the light
All the shadows will cease to exist

Today. I bought Alanis' new album and watched Mel Gibson's new movie.
It had rained earlier and the night air was cool and balmy. I took a long walk, shaded from the drizzle by the giant orange-leaved angsana trees that lined both sides of the roads. I used to travel this way many years back while I was in the army.

After my dinner at McDonald's, hands in my pockets, I walked home.

It's been a long time since I saw the moon.

The simpleman's reply.

Sitting in my office, trying to bury myself in my work.
and my thoughts drifted to her.

what a strange thing, this thing called love and all the things that came along with it.

Soulmates, ever and ever, I love yous in abundance.

Images of a reality. A reality I wanted so much to reach and achieve kept playing my mind.

A home by the beach. With colour and photos of the entire family on the walls. Books and knick-knacks bought from everywhere we went to.
And a beach hut where we shared with our best friend... running a little business together.

My reality suddenly taken away from me. All because the only thing certain in life was change.

A shift in the equation. A shift in priorities.

Noone's fault. Just that there was a change in the direction of our lives and we just ignored it for a while.

Where does that leave us then?

Once where two souls intertwined, once where two roads came together... once where there were the symphony of two carefree laughter.

Now it's nothing but a distant memory.

I stared at the moon yesterday night. My heart cried for the death of a dream...

I went home and tried to remember how it felt to have her next to me when we slept and instead of a warm body, my consolation were four walls.

erikagm Posted: Mon Jul 12 11:30:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  God that describes pretty much how I feel almost to perfection...

trying to bury myself in work

broken promises

a lifeplan gone to hell

trying to remember the feel of her skin against mine...

it hurts so badly...

jennemmer Posted: Mon Jul 12 11:31:19 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Why do we burden ourselves with this thing called Love. Why is it so much more difficult than just being friends. If a friend pisses you off, you get mad, you take a little time you live your own lives for a bit and when the moment passes, you can hang out again and if you have a good time the rest is just in the past. Why is everything so much of a bigger deal when you are 'more than friends' and what does that phrase even mean.

What happens when the person you love is keeping you back. When you know that for a little while in life you have to step out and deal with things, that you are going to have to hurt, when being confused and crying yourself to sleep is what you need, when you have to get mad, kicking and screeming mad just to prove that you can, and that that person only wants to make your life easier and make things better. When as much as you care for them you can't help hating them for the amount that they love you...

(Chanz: sorry for a response that has very little to do with your part of the post. Love is hard and waking up from love is sometimes harder. I hope you find what you need and really wish you all the best)

addi Posted: Mon Jul 12 12:04:29 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  well said people.
It's nice to read intelligent posts here now and then along with the silliness

FN Posted: Mon Jul 12 12:22:31 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  When a girl asks me to tell her I'll love her forever or when she says that to me I just say I don't believe in that kind of thing, plain and simple.

I know what you're saying though for the sake of the thread ;o)

baristapro Posted: Mon Jul 12 20:35:55 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I forgot who said it, but they said it best: "If you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

And I too fall victim of heartache- as we all do, for it does not discriminate. It happens to the best of us, and sometimes we are the carriers of this disease, spreading it to others.
It's worth it though- so worth it. You can carry on the lingering scent of happiness and infintesimal feeling that you have lived with, and learned from. It isn't something to regret, though the pain of it all will make your body want to cave in on itself. I still hold true that it is worth all of this, yes all of this- and so much more.

Just to have held him for an instant. Just to have been touched by a fragment of his soul. It's the hours spent longing, spent gazing into the other's eyes. And that gentle carress that makes you feel beautiful.
Yes, all of this, however fleeting, however seemingly pointless, lifts me. Even now, while I sit in ashes and ruins of the wonder that I once knew.

antartica Posted: Tue Jul 13 02:17:15 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  whoa... the old dood up top has really wierd ways man...
we all talking about all this and i gets this in my email... you know, from a serial forwarder... but has a good message... talk about timing...

Dear friends,

I believe this is an article that will help us in reflecting ourselves.
Take time to read it. Hope you benefit from it.
A good relationship isn't a game you play or an ego trip you take.
It is about love and two people.

Loving someone can give us the greatest joy we can ever know and it can hurt more than we can believe too.
When it does not really hurt when that person did something disappointing to you,
but really hurts when you see that person in pain and sadness, then you know you truly love that person.

Loving someone means you should be ready to experience heartache and happiness at the same time.
That's the reward and that's the risk.
Unless we are willing to experience it, we will never really know what it's like to love and be loved.

Sharing love is probably the most valuable and meaningful experience a person can ever have.
And there's a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone.
It's the difference between a love that's fickle, wild and short-lived and
one that's tender and passionate, nurturing and lasts a long time.

The first is easy. The second, the one that really matters to all of us, takes work --
because it's about keeping a relationship.

Loving someone takes efforts. We have to be able to communicate with each other.
Nobody can read anyone else's mind. We always presume that our partner knows what we think and feel.
Maybe in time we might be able to predict or sense each other's thoughts but it's never perfect and takes time to develop.

Getting the chance to love and be loved by someone is blessed.
Respect him/her for who he/she is, and not what you want him/her to be.

Everyone is pretty and special in his/her own special way. No one is perfect.
It is true love which closes the gap of imperfectness to form a smooth surface of acceptance for each other.
True love sees and accepts a person for who he/she is.
It is also true love which makes a person change for the better.
The power of true love to a person is undeniable.

A relationship needs commitments too. What is love without commitments from each other anyway?
It's like principles and values. Everyone has them but they only mean as much as we are willing to stand for them.

The same goes for our commitments to relationships, and the person we love.

"Love is like an antique vase. It's hard to find, hard to get, but easy to break."
Every day everywhere, people fall in love ...
but just how many of these relationships are self-sacrificing love, and not just relationships
which are formed only for the intense feeling of falling in love?

I know hundreds of friends who say the magical words "I love you" ...
but more often than not, the truth is just -- I am IN love with you.

There is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone.
If a person says he/she is in love with you, he/she means that he/she likes you for who you are now
and he/she fell in love with you because of the present you.

This kind of love is temporary and lasts only as long as the fairytale lasts.
When fairy godmother comes in at midnight to whirl us back to reality,
we see the heartache of such a relationship...where both were only IN love with each other.

But if a person says he/she loves you, he/she means that he/she loves you unconditionally for who you are now,
who you were in the past and who you might be in the future.

When he/she says he/she loves you and really means it,
you have to ask yourself if you love him/her too or if you're in love with the idea of being in love.

It is very hard to see the difference through logical thinking. Let your heart guide u.
May you be blessed on your soul-searching journey for your soulmate.
Friends, today, I would like you to think about what you've just read.
To those who are already "attached", ask yourself again.....

Is this true love?

Do I really love him/her?

Or izzit just another infatuation?

R U willing to give? Even though you may not get back the same amount you gave?

R U cheating yourself?
Thinking that you really love him/her and not just taking him/her as a substitute for your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?

Friends, let today be the day you truly understand love.....and stop hurting others.........
I know how it feels to be hurt by your loved ones.......especially one that you've trusted so much........
And I know that none of you would want to be the victim in this game of love........

If after reading this and answering all the questions, you are very sure that you love him/her, tell him/her that.
Let him/her know how much you love him/her and that you are willing to take
the risks of being hurt by him/her in the course of the development of LOVE

iggy Posted: Tue Jul 13 07:08:17 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The day my jipsy died.

simpleman journals. 13072004

This morning my jipsy died of a heartache.
i can sense his loss. ever since i got him, it has always been the three of us... touring around singapore... leaving many happy memories behind.

there were fights in his presence. there were a lot of happy times too.

it was our little haven.

but now there are just two lonely people going around singapore. just me and jipsy.

no more momo the grand vehicle commander... no more compass.

today my jipsy died of a heartache.

antartica Posted: Tue Jul 13 10:12:15 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  dun hate me brah... but speaking to you last nite a gazzillion miles away... i told you this... but i swear, tt was the first thing that came to mind...

those of you who've ever read this book called "lifecycle of (a?) homosapien" will know or recall this...

"motorcycle fail me, women fail me."


lets walk...

been a while since i read it... so tts about all i recall...

but hey... we're all still here by and behind you dude... whether we be in Dingapore or all over this planet...

we're with ya... =)


Nikki Posted: Tue Jul 13 10:15:49 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I love only two ppl that's enough

kurohyou Posted: Tue Jul 13 22:44:22 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I believe we love because we are built to love. It comes naturally to us, that seeking of a deep, alomst cosmic connction with someone else. Its as ingrained as a part us not unlike the physical features we present to the world.

Our methods of loving can be our identifiers, some of us are eloquent with words, some with music, some with touch, some with silence. No matter who we are, we have a method by which we show love. Its part of who we are and we deisre to share this with others.

Loving, and being loved is what makes us feel alive. It invigorates the senses, and stirs the soul. Painfully cliche I know, but painfully true if you've experienced it first hand.

Our need to share this is what compels us to find that person. I believe where we fall short is believing that there is only one whom we can share our love with. That there is some cosmic bond designed between two specific people.

If you love someone, and if someone loves you, take the ride for as long as you can. Enjoy it, treasure it, and cherish it. But accept that whether it last 60 days, or 60 years at some point you will be seperated from that which you love.

Don't look back in anger, but in happiness, that you experienced something which some try for a lifetime to acheive.

Don't know if this follows the thread very well but it was what came to mind after reading everything.

Puck Posted: Fri Jul 23 05:29:14 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hypocrite said:
>I forgot who said it, but they said it best: "If you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

"I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments."-High Fidelity


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