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read..laugh..stop killing each other
antartica Posted: Wed Jul 14 09:19:44 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  25 Phrases Of Wisdom

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

antartica Posted: Wed Jul 14 10:00:48 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Murphy's Laws of Combat

If the enemy is in range, so are you. Incoming fire has the right of way.

Automatic weapons --aren't.

Suppressive fire -- won't.

Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

Teamwork is essential. It gives them someone else to shoot at

No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.

The easy way is always mined.

Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.

Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equal 37 enemy KIA.

Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.

Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.

Tracers work both ways.

Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) when you're ready for them and (b) when you're not ready for them.

If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.

The important things are always simple.
The simple things are always hard.

The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

All 5-second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.

If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.

When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.

Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

Murphy was a grunt.

innocenceNonus Posted: Wed Jul 14 16:18:47 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  HAhaha. I liked the first list better than the second... Maybe because I can relate to the first one better.

Cherry_Moon Posted: Wed Jul 14 19:44:40 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  lol, I loved both. I like your avatar! Sew cute.

Mouse Posted: Thu Jul 15 00:00:25 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I love number twenty four!
Thank you for the fun stuff, ant. :)

Mesh Posted: Thu Jul 15 04:46:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  good stuff ant.

number 25 is so true.

antartica Posted: Thu Jul 15 06:55:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  thx kids... not my shit.. dun have enough brain cells to come up with stuff like that.. i just happen to come by them and post em up here =P


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