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Paint a Pretty Picture
choke Posted: Wed Jul 14 18:29:00 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Create a person without changes
Paint a mouth that never sighs
Watch its impact on strangers
A picture never dies.

Hang it high and frame it
Through her failure of free will
She'll be always isolated
Content, silent and still.

Give it not a mirror
Nor desire to hate
Teach it not of human error
For her the road is straight.

To suspend your creation in innocence
To be naive like its supposed,
Take no risk in human essence
Gently paint her eyes closed.


 
choke Posted: Wed Jul 14 18:30:34 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh shit this is supposed to be in the poetry section :S

my bad!


 
innocenceNonus Posted: Wed Jul 14 18:42:03 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I like this. Very new and fresh idea on a topic not often talked about. At least, not for me. Anyway, good job. I like the way you used your language like, "Give it not a mirror."


 
erikagm Posted: Wed Jul 14 19:40:29 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wow... have no clue who you are innocence, but welcome!


 
mat_j Posted: Wed Jul 14 19:52:06 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Not to sound like a panderer (this is the third good review i've given this evening) but i love it Choke. Innocencenonus said a lot of what i wanted to say alas, but even so i love the way despite that you're talking about a picture here we're actually looking at a relationship between two people, nice metaphors nicely done.


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Wed Jul 14 19:56:56 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  erikagm said:
>Wow... have no clue who you are innocence, but welcome!

LOL, nice poem Choke.


 
addi Posted: Wed Jul 14 21:29:43 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hot Damn there are some good poets here!
Choke, excellent work! I'll have my guys call your guys

Cherry. don't be discouraged about a lack of responses sometimes. Like mat_j said sometimes it has nothing to do with your work, but the timing of what else is going on here. I also really liked your Blackberry poem.


 
Mouse Posted: Thu Jul 15 00:09:01 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I love it. This is the best one of your poems I have read to date, choke.
Keep it up! :)


 
erikagm Posted: Thu Jul 15 11:44:43 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Uhm... I loved it, very very much... Reminded me of the song "perfect" by alanis morrissette in a way... But I dont get the part where it's supposed to be about a relationship... maybe more of my brain cells that i could think possible are dead...


 



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