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whos drunk now
Chaos Posted: Sat Jul 17 03:21:58 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  dancing to forget
i place my keys on the table
and pick up my glass.

when i spin it in my hand
the brown liquid spirals around
dark and cold, like the universe.

i drink it rather quick,
with a smile on my face,
sardonic as it is.

she looks over to me,
and i wink,
just a tease as i look in another direction.

it turns out that my Mariko
was a Koiko.
didn't i want it that way?

life is a funny thing,
spinning all a round you;
i just want another drink.


 
innocenceNonus Posted: Sat Jul 17 15:06:11 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Pretty good. I like the spiral feel to it, if that makes any sense. Simple poem on the first layer with something deeper on the second. Kinda mysterious in the sense that each stanza is something a little new, and the reader has to imagine all that's in between. Good stuff. Makes me want a glass myself.


 
Chaos Posted: Sat Jul 17 17:04:59 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  innocenceNonus said:
>Pretty good. I like the spiral feel to it, if that makes any sense. Simple poem on the first layer with something deeper on the second. Kinda mysterious in the sense that each stanza is something a little new, and the reader has to imagine all that's in between. Good stuff. Makes me want a glass myself.

thanks



 



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