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Simpleman Journals. Rebirth
iggy Posted: Sun Sep 5 22:43:50 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Simpleman Journals.
Rebirth

My rebirth started on saturday when i went over to my best mates salon to get a change of hairstyle and colour.
It's strange that a guy is going through this process but if it works on girls... i don't see why it won't work for a guy.

I actually got him to think about it for a while cos i trust him with my hair and i know he will do something new and unheard before on my hair.

so there i was sitting with him for 5 hours not knowing what will happen to my hair...

in the midst of bleaching my hair, he said something strange.
"make a name for yourself, show the world that we christ church (our alma mater) people will not be looked down by people. the more people try to bring us down, the more we will survive..."

coming from him, it's the best form of encouragement.

honestly. the family of families that i've been talking about came from a band of brothers that known each other for 15 years dating from the time we knew each other from our high school days.

By the time he's done, my hairs all platinum blonde with purple roots.
it sounds strange but honestly.. i've been getting rave reviews about the hair.

it's totally different from what people will ever see in as.

but like what caine said to me when he unveiled my new hairstyle.
"ladies and gentlemen, welcome the new chan"
i knew he knows that that is the first step to a brave new world.

i've been trying to bury myself in my work.
i've been trying to escape the reality of things.
i've been trying not to look at the truth.

but now, i embrace it all.
and cleared up all the clutter.

my reiki master told me that there was one more thing to let go before i can fly after one of my sessions.

my heart repelled him. and he told me that there's something that i haven't addressed yet.
if i can't let go... i'll always be looping around the same circle.

he told me not to hate. not to be angry.
not to hold on.

instead... turn that anger or disappoint or whatever i'm feeling into loving compassion, and kindness...
and then i'll be free.

he taught me a new mantra.
and it's working.

i'm not angry at her... nor feeling anything anymore.

it's a feeling of i wish her well... not in a she's-my-ex way... not in a she's-my-soulmate way.

in fact, ever since she moved on... ever since i began my new journey, i know that she's no longer my soulmate.
maybe we were, and i believed we were... but we were somebody else back then and our souls and hearts were intertwined.

now? if our old selfs could come into the future and see us now... they will deny that we would change so much.

now? i can't recognise her, and neither can she.

we've come too far from who we were to ever go back.

i'm not sad or anything.
like i said before... i'm living in the present. and will enjoy every single minute of it.

one thing about being blonde?
i forgot my phone today dammit...


 
iggy Posted: Mon Sep 6 03:00:04 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Song of the moment
Pictures of you
by the Cure

Iíve been looking so long at these pictures of
Iíve been looking so long at these
You that I almost beleive that theyíre real iíve Been living so long with my pictures of you
that I almost beleive that theyíre real iíve
I almost believe that the pictures are all I can
Been living so long with my pictures of you that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can Feel
Remembering you standing quiet in the rain as I ran to your heart to be near
and we kissed as the sky fell in holding you close how I always
The sky fell in holding you close how I always
Held close in your fear remembering you
Held close in your fear remembering you
Running soft through the night you were bigger And brighter and wider than snow and
Screamed at the make-believe screamed at the Sky and you finally found all your courage to Let it all go

Remembering you fallen into my arms crying For the death of your heart you were stone White so delicate lost in the cold you were
Always so lost in the dark remembering you
How you used to be slow drowned you were
Angels so much more than everything oh hold

For the last time then slip away quietly open
My eyes but I never see anything
My eyes but I never see anything
If only I had thought of the right words I could
Have hold on to your heart if only Iíd thought

The right words I wouldnít be breaking apart all

My pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you but i
Never hold on to your heart looking so long for
The words to be true but always just breaking Apart my pictures of you
There was nothing in the world that I ever
Wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world that I ever
Wanted more than to never feel the breaking
Apart all my pictures of you



 
mat_j Posted: Wed Sep 8 19:09:54 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The hair sounds cool man!

I'm dying mine black again for work tomorrow, blonde and purple sounds good for ding but i feel that blue-black will be good for shitty ol' Wales.

MY film is being show again at Chapter Arts cinema soon. I think it's Europes biggest art cinema! if not it's a pretty big art cinema and it sells booze too!

Keep on keeping on, your ol' pal

Matthew J


 
iggy Posted: Thu Sep 9 12:58:10 2004 Post | Quote in Reply  
  coolest my brah :)

send me a copy if u can :)

i will try to get more works up so that i can compile and send it over to all those that sent their addresses to me.

my hair is ash grey now :)


 



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