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Train ride
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 3 19:19:44 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Just thought I'd get some shit started:

George and Laura Bush and Bill and Hilary Clinton are traveling by train to the Super Bowl.
At the station George and Laura each buy a ticket and watch as Bill and
Hilary buy just one ticket.
"How are the two of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks George W, astonished at what he is seeing.
"Watch and learn," answers Hilary.
They all board the train. George and Laura take their respective seats but
Bill and Hilary cram into a toilet together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting
tickets.
He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Bushes see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea, so after
the game they decide to try a similar plan on the return trip.
When they! get to the station they see the Clinton's at the window buying a
single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Clinton's see
that the Bushes don't buy any ticket at all.
"Aren't you taking a terrible chance by traveling without a ticket?" says
Hilary.
"Live and learn," answers Laura Bush.
When they board the train the Bushes cram themselves into a toilet and the
Clinton's cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the
train leaves the station, George W. leaves their toilet and walks over to
the Clinton's toilet, knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please"
(And you're still trying to figure out how the Democrats lost that election.)



 
Aeon Posted: Thu Feb 3 20:14:25 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Democrats lost the election because they had a shitty candidate. An election should never come down to the "LESSER OF TWO EVILS". George Bush is no prize, either. He's certainly not smart enough to pull off the stunt mentioned in the joke. Please... the guy can barely speak.


 
libra Posted: Thu Feb 3 20:19:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  How bout this one:

The President, the First Lady, and Dick Cheney are flying on Air Force One. George looks at Laura, chuckles, and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Laura shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Cheney says, "Of course, then I could throw one hundred $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them, and says to his co-pilot, "Such big shots back there... hell, I could throw all of them out the window and make four billion people very happy."


 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 3 21:00:54 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hahahahahahaha

hee hee hee hee hee

hahahahahahaha


 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 3 21:06:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon said:
He's certainly not smart enough to pull off the stunt mentioned in the joke. Please... the guy can barely speak.
>
making liberals believe the above statement might be the smartest thing he ever did.
It certainly caused his opponents to underestimate him over and over again.
A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice.


 
Asswipe Posted: Thu Feb 3 21:13:35 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>Aeon said:
>He's certainly not smart enough to pull off the stunt mentioned in the joke. Please... the guy can barely speak.
>>
>making liberals believe the above statement might be the smartest thing he ever did.

making liberals believe that he isn't intelligent enough to squat on a train ride is the smartest thing he has ever done?

>It certainly caused his opponents to underestimate him over and over again.
>A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice.

take it easy confucius.


 
Aeon Posted: Thu Feb 3 21:22:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice?

He will when he's running against someone even less intellectually inclined then he is.


 
Zacq Posted: Thu Feb 3 22:06:43 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice.

You just screwed your Clinton joke.


 
innocenceNonus Posted: Thu Feb 3 22:13:27 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Zacq said:
>ifihadahif said:
>>A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice.
>
>You just screwed your Clinton joke.

Ahahahahahha.

I love GT so much... All of you are BEAUTIFUL people with FANTASTIC senses of humor.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Feb 3 23:18:13 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Laura told me George has a small weenie..................so did Jenna.


 
Puck Posted: Thu Feb 3 23:41:34 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Laura told me George has a small weenie..................so did Jenna.

Jenna had a small weenie?


 
jennemmer Posted: Fri Feb 4 01:46:12 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  This made me think of two pictures sent to me by a friend of mine (yes, they are workplace appropriate)

Weenie:
http://www.physics.umanitoba.ca/~fallis/images/weenie.JPG

Small Weenie:
http://www.physics.umanitoba.ca/~fallis/images/smallweenie.JPG

Sorry... now back to your regularly scheduled nonsense...


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 4 06:33:02 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon said:
>A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice?
>
>He will when he's running against someone even less intellectually inclined then he is.
>
So you're saying that at least Dubya is smarter than Al Gore and John Kerry ?


 
addi Posted: Fri Feb 4 08:21:47 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice.

people, your focus is misplaced here.

Dubya didn't put himself in the white house twice...Americans did (first election results still debatible IMO).

If you feel the need to place a "stupid" label somewhere it rightly belongs on the american voters, if it belongs on anyone. We voted him into office.

And, while I'm at it, there's confusion too about Kerry being stupid because he lost the election. It's a logical fallacy to equate losing a presidential election to being stupid. You can say Kerry (the democrats)made some poor decisions on how best to win this election, and have a case for it. But if you compare the two candidates on an "intellectual" basis there's no comparison between them. Bush is mentally in Kindergarten, and Kerry is in grad school working on his doctorate.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 4 08:47:43 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>>A stupid man, might get elected once, but not twice.
>
>people, your focus is misplaced here.
>
>Dubya didn't put himself in the white house twice...Americans did (first election results still debatible IMO).
>
>If you feel the need to place a "stupid" label somewhere it rightly belongs on the american voters, if it belongs on anyone. We voted him into office.
>
>And, while I'm at it, there's confusion too about Kerry being stupid because he lost the election. It's a logical fallacy to equate losing a presidential election to being stupid. You can say Kerry (the democrats)made some poor decisions on how best to win this election, and have a case for it. But if you compare the two candidates on an "intellectual" basis there's no comparison between them. Bush is mentally in Kindergarten, and Kerry is in grad school working on his doctorate.
>
It's exactly this attitude that explains why the democrats have only won the presidency twice in 40yrs.
You can't tell the American people how stupid they are and then expect them to vote for you.
Saying that Bush didn't get himself elected is a bit of a copout as well, don't you think ?
Did Clinton get himself elected ?
As for the "mental comparison", Bush just finished giving his 5th state of the union address and Kerry is still going "duh, what happened"?


 
addi Posted: Fri Feb 4 10:11:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>It's exactly this attitude that explains why the democrats have only won the presidency twice in 40yrs.

Intelligence is always in the minority, my good friend.

>You can't tell the American people how stupid they are and then expect them to vote for you.

Correct. You tell Americans about how evil government is, throw in something about traditional values, lower taxes, Jesus, and the American flag...and then they vote for you.

>Saying that Bush didn't get himself elected is a bit of a copout as well, don't you think ?

No, i don't think it's a cop out. Ultimately the american people elected Bush, despite his best efforts to sound like an idiot.


>As for the "mental comparison", Bush just finished giving his 5th state of the union address and Kerry is still going "duh, what happened"?

Just about the response i expected from a conservative on this point.

>"duh, what happened"?

I think you can do better than this.
I'm sorry, hif, but it sounds like a 5th graders desperate attempt at a witty response when challenged to think about something that he doesn't quite comprehend.


 
addi Posted: Fri Feb 4 10:53:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>It's exactly this attitude that explains why the democrats have only won the presidency twice in 40yrs.

Ahem....
40 years ago was 1965 (LBJ in office)

1976 Jimmy Carter
1992 Bill Clinton
1996 Bill Clinton

i suck at math, but i think that equals three presidential elections won by democrats.
minor point, yes, but as long as you're going to throw out statistics to try and make a point you should get them right.

: )



 
addi Posted: Fri Feb 4 11:03:38 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  jennemmer said:
>This made me think of two pictures sent to me by a friend of mine (yes, they are workplace appropriate)

This just proves to me that it's not the size of the weenie that matters, but the percieved size of the weenie in relation to the bun it's going in.

*what?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 4 11:36:40 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>>It's exactly this attitude that explains why the democrats have only won the presidency twice in 40yrs.
>
>Ahem....
>40 years ago was 1965 (LBJ in office)
>
>1976 Jimmy Carter
>1992 Bill Clinton
>1996 Bill Clinton
>
>i suck at math, but i think that equals three presidential elections won by democrats.
>minor point, yes, but as long as you're going to throw out statistics to try and make a point you should get them right.
>
>: )
>
three elections but only two administrations. Either way it's not a very good record. I don't think most dems would be willing to claim Jimmy Carter anyway.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 4 11:41:27 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>>It's exactly this attitude that explains why the democrats have only won the presidency twice in 40yrs.
>
>Intelligence is always in the minority, my good friend.
>
>>You can't tell the American people how stupid they are and then expect them to vote for you.
>
>Correct. You tell Americans about how evil government is, throw in something about traditional values, lower taxes, Jesus, and the American flag...and then they vote for you.
>
>>Saying that Bush didn't get himself elected is a bit of a copout as well, don't you think ?
>
>No, i don't think it's a cop out. Ultimately the american people elected Bush, despite his best efforts to sound like an idiot.
>
Nope, it's cop out, unless you are willing to agree that none of the 43 presidents got themselves elected, and also that every president was elected by the stupidest elements of society, as your logic would appear to dictate.
>>As for the "mental comparison", Bush just finished giving his 5th state of the union address and Kerry is still going "duh, what happened"?
>
>Just about the response i expected from a conservative on this point.
>
>>"duh, what happened"?
>
>I think you can do better than this.
>I'm sorry, hif, but it sounds like a 5th graders desperate attempt at a witty response when challenged to think about something that he doesn't quite comprehend.
>
Typical liberalspeak. You guys have no idea how to connect with middle America.
You guys need a helluva lot more Lieberman and a helluva lot less Pelosi.


 
Posted: Fri Feb 4 11:58:19 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://putfile.com/Bushstate224.mov

this still makes me laugh.


 
Asswipe Posted: Fri Feb 4 12:11:49 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>Typical liberalspeak. You guys have no idea how to connect with middle America.
>You guys need a helluva lot more Lieberman and a helluva lot less Pelosi.

as you can see here, hif has presented the proper way to connect with "middle america": use words like "helluva"

seriously, you guys are the shittiest communicators i've heard argue since watching the jerry springer show back in 5th grade.


 
addi Posted: Fri Feb 4 12:41:16 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

> You guys have no idea how to connect with middle America.

you're assuming i want to connect to middle america.
I grew up there. I've been trying to escape it ever since.
: )


 
Nikki Posted: Fri Feb 4 13:27:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ur from central america? figures - shit for brains LOL


 
Aeon Posted: Fri Feb 4 13:29:50 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>> You guys have no idea how to connect with middle America.
>
>you're assuming i want to connect to middle america.
>I grew up there. I've been trying to escape it ever since.
>: )


All they have out there is corn anyway.


 
Posted: Fri Feb 4 13:37:50 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Any GTers wanna meet up in Chicago/NY/Philadelphia/Pittsburgh/Baltimore/Boston for MLB opening day?
I've got some time off in April and I'd like to take a trip.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 4 15:04:01 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>Any GTers wanna meet up in Chicago/NY/Philadelphia/Pittsburgh/Baltimore/Boston for MLB opening day?
>I've got some time off in April and I'd like to take a trip.
>
I work within walking distance of the Louisville Slugger bat factory.
I don't really care too much for baseball.
I enjoy going to a game now and then, but don't really care to follow the sport.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 4 15:05:33 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Asswipe said:
>
>seriously, you guys are the shittiest communicators i've heard argue since watching the jerry springer show back in 5th grade.
>
You've got to be kidding !
You made it past the 5th grade ?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 4 15:07:05 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Asswipe said:
>
>as you can see here, hif has presented the proper way to connect with "middle america": use words like "helluva"
>
>seriously, you guys are the shittiest communicators i've heard argue since watching the jerry springer show back in 5th grade.
>
How you gonna slam a word like helluva and then come back using shittiest ?

DUH !


 
Aeon Posted: Fri Feb 4 17:36:55 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>Asswipe said:
>>
>>as you can see here, hif has presented the proper way to connect with "middle america": use words like "helluva"
>>
>>seriously, you guys are the shittiest communicators i've heard argue since watching the jerry springer show back in 5th grade.
>>
>How you gonna slam a word like helluva and then come back using shittiest ?
>
>DUH !

Well, I ain't too sure about "helluva" but shittiest doesn't seem like that bad of a word given the context. Hyuck!


 
TwoPillows Posted: Fri Feb 4 17:59:02 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  man, even i know there's a difference between middle and central america. shit for brains.


 
Aeon Posted: Fri Feb 4 18:03:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  TwoPillows said:
>man, even i know there's a difference between middle and central america. shit for brains.


Well... anyone who has ever seen a map probably knows the difference. Nikki, though, has been locked up in the nut house for sexually assaulting 12 goats on 3 seperate occasions... so she hasn't had much contact with the CIVILIZED world.


 
mat_j Posted: Fri Feb 4 19:52:39 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Since first i come to website i have not witnessed such wonderful display of democratic argument. Who could have guessed as i was being raised in communist barn in Scholpelekiania i would see great free exchange of ideas as arguemnt on finer points of the words shittiest and helluva.


 
Aeon Posted: Fri Feb 4 20:03:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>Since first i come to website i have not witnessed such wonderful display of democratic argument. Who could have guessed as i was being raised in communist barn in Scholpelekiania i would see great free exchange of ideas as arguemnt on finer points of the words shittiest and helluva.


And just think... you have our first President, Ben Franklin, to thank for writing the Constitution and thereby creating democracy for the rest of the obviously communist world.

(note: this is all sarcastic. I know that Ben Franklin wasn't the first President. Thomas Jefferson was. Duh!)


 
addi Posted: Fri Feb 4 20:21:13 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  TwoPillows said:
>man, even i know there's a difference between middle and central america. shit for brains.

LMAO!

Be patient with Nikki. she's still trying to figure out that you don't need to tie slip on shoes.

: )


 
Asswipe Posted: Fri Feb 4 21:20:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>Asswipe said:
>>
>>as you can see here, hif has presented the proper way to connect with "middle america": use words like "helluva"
>>
>>seriously, you guys are the shittiest communicators i've heard argue since watching the jerry springer show back in 5th grade.
>>
>How you gonna slam a word like helluva and then come back using shittiest ?

well, one of the key components in writing of any kind is aiming for audience comprehension; you don't speak the same to a three year old as you do to a nursing home patient, oh, I mean, you do, but you get what i'm saying. As you said, Bush relates to the majority of people out there better than Kerry. he does this by being or appearing similar to them, and does so by using words like "Helluva" and "damnEd" and "God Bless"(whatever the fuck that means).

not to mention, I didn't really want to get into it, i'd rather throw poop from the sidelines.

Yell at the ape!

>
>DUH !

indeed


 
Mesh Posted: Fri Feb 4 22:12:13 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  No. Youre all missing the point of the story.

Trains suck. Avoidance of travel by train is a good idea.

Garsh!


 
Aeon Posted: Fri Feb 4 22:55:35 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>No. Youre all missing the point of the story.
>
>Trains suck. Avoidance of travel by train is a good idea.
>
>Garsh!


My god, you're right... we've been... so... blind...


::SCREAMS::


 
Mesh Posted: Fri Feb 4 23:05:24 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon said:
>meshuggah said:
>>No. Youre all missing the point of the story.
>>
>>Trains suck. Avoidance of travel by train is a good idea.
>>
>>Garsh!
>
>
>My god, you're right... we've been... so... blind...
>
>

See Aeon knows gerddamnit!



 
erikagm Posted: Sat Feb 5 18:28:54 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *rolls eyes*

I'm not even getting into this argument :P


 
Mesh Posted: Sat Feb 5 19:49:18 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Thats right. Because you cant argue with the truth.



Hows it going, erika?


 
mat_j Posted: Mon Feb 7 16:30:08 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  That's what you get for not Hailing to the chimp


 
sweet p Posted: Mon Feb 7 19:58:26 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I like train rides.

With comfy seats.

And headphones.


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Feb 7 20:43:38 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  No you dont.


 



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