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midgets + clowns= DANGER
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 10:55:29 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  a friend posted this on her livejournal for me. i didn't find it entertaining, i found it SCARY. (by the by, she thought of me because i have a minor obsession with midgets (purely for its comical effect) and i grew up in st. louis)... not because i think this sort of thing is cool.
but despite its brevity, i found it rather engrossing. and i laughed while reading, but nervously. not because it was funny.
ugh.

I am so sorry I'm going to clog up yall's pages, but i just heard this story and I HAVE TO TELL MEG.
Ok, so Jennifer just told me this story today...She has a friend who lives up in St. Louis, and this was a few years back, but Her friend's boyfriend ended up babysitting for some family that he knew. And he had been hanging out with the kids all night, got them put to sleep and went downstairs to watch tv. And in the tv room he notices this really ugly and scary 4ft. clown statute. Dude was like, dang that's ugly, but whatever, and starts watching tv. Well he can't even watch TV because this statute is so freaking weird...i mean a clown statue...who would want this. So after an HOUR of being all freaked out by the statue, he calls the parents cell and is like, hey, can i move this statue, because it's really freaking me out.....The mom just goes, "don't move it, you need to wake up the kids, get them in the car, and call the police, we'll be home as soon as we can"..Dude thought this was weird, but whatever...he got the kids, went to Mcdonald's or something, and call the parents and said, "hey, we're here, i called the cops, i didn't know what to tell them." The mom answered, well you probably didn't need to tell them much...apparently there's this MIDGET WHO LIKES TO DRESS UP AS A CLOWN AND JUST GO STAND IN PEOPLE'S HOUSES AND WATCH THEM!!!! He never stole anything...just WATCHED PEOPLE!! That's correct ladies and gentlemen..a freaky midget in a clown costume....don't pretend you weren't entertained!


seriously. what the hell. what. the. hell.


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 10:59:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Clowns freak me out... and, god help me, but i don't trust little people (i heard they like to sneak into your pant legs and hide there)
i wouldn't be able to sleep for years if that happened to me.


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 11:04:14 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i wouldn't sleep ever again. period. i'd go insane.

i don't even know if i believe it, but who would make up such a demented story? really.


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Feb 15 11:13:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I didnt read it but damned if clowns arent scary bastards.


 
Billy Pilgrim Posted: Tue Feb 15 11:29:59 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I saw a porno once where a midget was dressed as an evil clown whipping some catholic school girls. I think it was called catholic schoolgirls in trouble. There was also a scene of a woman hitting a horse in the ass with a custard pie then the horse running away


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 11:35:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:
>i don't even know if i believe it, but who would make up such a demented story?

Hmmm...
Couldn't be hif, his clown would be holding a bottle of red nail polish.

or Chris..his clown would have it pants down

or mesh, his clown would have a long beard and a bottle of beer..

it's a mystery


 
Bzoso Posted: Tue Feb 15 12:17:05 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Shit!


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 13:08:16 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Don't tell me anybody actually believed this.


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 13:43:02 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i don't doubt that it is an urban legend. it has to be. still, it is so wrong on so many levels.




 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 13:59:05 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Don't tell me anybody actually believed this.

it could have happened. I mean...midget clowns are sneaky like that...and beetlebum doesn't lie.


 
Kira Posted: Tue Feb 15 14:25:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  That is honestly one of the most freakishly scary things I have ever heard, or it was until I realized it couldn't possibly be true. Still it was pretty durned creepy.


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 14:46:20 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yeah, that's so scary, I mean, imagine that an ill-tempered midget invaded your house! What could you do to stop him!

Kick his ass would be one option.


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 15:26:01 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:

>Kick his ass would be one option.

Yeah, right. Tell that to Austin Powers. Mini-Me beat the crap out of him!


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:08:08 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yeah but that bastard was just 1 big testosteronebomb. Did you hear the little fuck's voice?

I bet he had a shlong the size of Florida.


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:08:45 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>Christophe said:
>>Don't tell me anybody actually believed this.
>
>it could have happened. I mean...midget clowns are sneaky like that...and beetlebum doesn't lie.

yeah, christophe.
so there.
:o)~



 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:13:03 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://www.insignifica.org/jozjozjoz/archives/2003_07.shtml#001649


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:14:47 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:
>:o)~

Psst, beetlebum, you have a really long curly hair growing on your chin.

Smooth as a cueball, except for the female moustache/beard-combo, ey.




(never turn on me again or I will kill you twice before you hit the floor.)


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:15:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:

>yeah, christophe.
>so there.

you don't lie do you? I'm very trusting, and my reputation is on the line. If I lose that all i have left is my hair : (


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:24:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>beetlebum said:
>>:o)~
>
>Psst, beetlebum, you have a really long curly hair growing on your chin.
>
>Smooth as a cueball, except for the female moustache/beard-combo, ey.

hey hey now. low blow, christophe. female facial hair? GROSS. that [:o)~] was my attempt at sticking out my tongue. next time i'll write it out for ye that hath little imagination. emoticon-impaired nerd. :) [<- that was a smiley face]


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:28:21 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  >you don't lie do you? I'm very trusting, and my reputation is on the line. If I lose that all i have left is my hair : (

no, not a liar. too bad at it... even a stranger would call me on it two seconds, because i get a rather guilty, furtive look that can't be mistaken for much else. i try every once in awhile, but alas, the attempts are never successful.

except. i do have one lie going... a rather big one, that i told a friend (who is a boy) about having a boyfriend. maybe not a lie. an exaggeration. but i had to do it!
but all of my friends know because i feel so guilty, so it isn't like i'm living the lie. really.
thank you, father.
until my next confession,
beetlebum
grin.


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:35:48 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:

>i told a friend (who is a boy) about having a boyfriend.

How shameful. I'm afraid we'll have to have an emergency meeting of the GT Council (chanz is the Grand Poobah) to determine your fate here, Beetle

*maybe if you were trying to cool this guy on you it would have worked better to tell him you have a girlfriend.

: )


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:40:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  oh, i wish i were trying to cool him. but i'm afraid that's not the case. inspire jealousy was more like it. (i'm a dirty girl with a dirty soul! the truth is out!)

dear GT council,
please be gentle. a girl in love is a desperate girl, and cannot be held responsible for all irrational actions (maybe a few, but not all!). so please, have mercy upon me. never would i do such a thing to any of the GT brethren.
without giving away all of my dignity, that is all that can be said regarding this matter. thank you for your time and consideration.
respectfully yours,
beetlebum


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:47:26 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:
>oh, i wish i were trying to cool him. but i'm afraid that's not the case. inspire jealousy was more like it.

Ahhh...the head games of youthful passion. I'd forgotten.

you're safe with the council. We couldn't get a quarum to vote (mat_j was taking a bubble bath, mesh was passed out on the floor, chris was using his telescope to spy on the co-eds next door, and no one knows were ant is)


 
Mouse Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:48:59 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>(never turn on me again or I will kill you twice before you hit the floor.)

Are you trying to be fierce, dear? Because, I'm just finding it amusing.

The trick is to turn on him without letting him know.
I mean, hi Chris, what's happening?

Mouse


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:50:53 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  and also, how did a threat on midget and clowns come to this?
i need to seek professional help.

me: well, i was discussing dangerous clown midgets, when my online friend addison brought up the lying thing, which made me realize that i have guy issues.
therapist: wait, you have an imaginary friend? allison? and clown midgets made you realize you have guy issues?
me: that's just about right, but you forgot the part where i appealed to the GT council.
therapist: GT council? i'm confused. what's that?
me: um, this thing. you know, generation terrorists, this...
therapist: wait, terrorists? what?! we need to check you into an institution, honey.
me: i'm resigned to my fate. let's go.


 
beetlebum Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:52:49 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i meant "thread" not "threat". gah.
it's 10 p.m. here in lovely england. and i'm going to bed because i'm not making any more sense (and the preface to democratic theory is making me want to stab my eyes with my pen).
stardust in the eyes, rosy cheeks, and happy GTers in the morning.
g'night.



 
Mouse Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:56:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>you're safe with the council. We couldn't get a quarum to vote (mat_j was taking a bubble bath, mesh was passed out on the floor, chris was using his telescope to spy on the co-eds next door, and no one knows were ant is)

Ehem. Why is 'the council' all plonkers?
The GT Police might have to take action if the matter is not corrected quickly.


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:56:33 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:

>me: i'm resigned to my fate. let's go.

: )
never try to explain GT to an outsider. Words will always fail you.

Our threads take on a stream of consciousness life of their own, like a James Joyce novel.


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 16:59:46 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:

>Ehem. Why is 'the council' all plonkers?

it isn't. I only mentioned those that couldn't make it. Libra, sailovzi, Sweet, Breeze, marsi, etc... were all responsible enough to make it.

phew...i knew that would come back to bite me in the butt


 
Kira Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:03:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  You didn't capitalize my S! I will beat you with a carp!


Don't worry Addi. I don't have a carp.


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:06:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:
>The trick is to turn on him without letting him know.

The trick is to turn me on.

*pulls down his pants and bends over with his ass poitning to mouse*

Thwack me, baby, for I have been very naughty.


 
Mouse Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:09:28 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sailovzi said:
>You didn't capitalize my S! I will beat you with a carp!
>
>
>Don't worry Addi. I don't have a carp.

*Hands her sister a carp and smiles cheerfully* What?
Don't say that you're surprised.


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:10:26 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:
>emoticon-impaired nerd. :) [<- that was a smiley face]

Hey, who's the impaired one here, you... you... impaired one!

a smiley sticking out his tongue is ofcourse this one :oP

And look! a piggy! :8)


(<>__<>)

I'm watching you.


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:11:13 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sailovzi said:

>Don't worry Addi. I don't have a carp.

: )
good, I have reoccuring nightmares about being whacked with a large carp.

*and I just looked at the last 20 posts....too many addisons. I feel like a slut. Must leave the forum and shower...so dirty...won't come off!


 
Mouse Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:15:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>The trick is to turn me on.
Actually it's not much of a trick, darling.

>*pulls down his pants and bends over with his ass poitning to mouse*
>Thwack me, baby, for I have been very naughty.
I knew that was a bad idea the very first time I did it. I hit you and you just want me to do it again.
At least I have strong arms. Where's my bat?


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:18:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:
>Christophe said:
>>The trick is to turn me on.
>Actually it's not much of a trick, darling.

Got me there.


Now thwack me you dominatrix!


 
Mouse Posted: Tue Feb 15 17:22:44 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>*and I just looked at the last 20 posts....too many addisons. I feel like a slut. Must leave the forum and shower...so dirty...won't come off!

That dirt won't wash off, my friend. *pats addi's shoulder* It's okay, we all have that same dirt.

Mouse


 
DanSRose Posted: Tue Feb 15 21:45:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  What I like to do is to read the first few posts, then read the last few. That said, this is the best one to date



 
Mouse Posted: Wed Feb 16 00:22:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Mouse said:
>>Christophe said:
>>>The trick is to turn me on.
>>Actually it's not much of a trick, darling.
>
>Got me there.
>
>Now thwack me you dominatrix!

Couldn't find my bat, I guess this riding crop will have to do.


 
mat_j Posted: Wed Feb 16 17:44:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>What I like to do is to read the first few posts, then read the last few. That said, this is the best one to date
>

Agreed


 



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