Generation Terrorists » Forum
Sign up   |   Start new thread   |   Lost password?   |   Edit profile   |   Member List   |   myGT   |   Blog
Keyword
From
To
 

Suicide
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Mar 20 17:44:55 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  What does everyone in GTland think of it?

Lately I've been having some really punked out feelings. It's hard to explain. I'm miserable all of the time, I've tried looking on the "bright side", I've tried therapy, I'm wondering about meds though I can't afford them, and I've just wanted to stop living. It's hard to explain.

My depression has a face and a body and lives in the back of my head snarling out bitter comments at regular intervals. It's a small girl with big green eyes shaggy brown hair and is aptly dressed in grey and black.

I don't want attention I've got more then enough of that. I just feeling like I've got nothing to lose. I've plenty of friends and I'm a well liked person and I'm doing well in school. I really don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Help? maybe?


 
FN Posted: Sun Mar 20 18:26:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  First of all: I dare you to kill yourself.

Second: I don't see the use of suicide, unless you're terminally ill and constantly suffering, then I can understand, but not because of a "depression".

And about those comments that you say to yourself: I have that too, and it keeps me sharp, I don't really see why that would put you down either.


 
libra Posted: Sun Mar 20 18:39:42 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I see suicide as completely cowardly and the stupidest answer to any problem one might be having.

To me, there is ALWAYS something to live for, even if it is only at the very least to see what happens around you, whether it be bad or good. I want to experience as much of the earth's story as possible, no matter how fucked up it is.

Except, like chris said, if one is fatally ill and constantly suffering and the quality of life has completely dropped away.


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Mar 20 18:41:47 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>First of all: I dare you to kill yourself.

lmao you "dare" me?

>Second: I don't see the use of suicide, unless you're terminally ill and constantly suffering, then I can understand, but not because of a "depression".

Yes I would agree whole-heartedly about it.

>And about those comments that you say to yourself: I have that too, and it keeps me sharp, I don't really see why that would put you down either.

It's hard to explain. I have the nasty words my birth dad would yell at me when he was raping and torturing me and they have gotten stuck and for the most part I take self critizism but I also have a dark thread of thoughts that plague me.


 
FN Posted: Sun Mar 20 18:47:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yeah, I dare you.



I'm sorry about the history there, and I'm sure I can't begin to imagine what that does to a person, but still, I doubt that it justifies suicide or misbehaviour. Which is not banalising it.


 
Posted: Sun Mar 20 18:57:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  what a fucking stupid concept suicide is.

at least do it creatively, if at all, though.


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Mar 20 19:03:15 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Yeah, I dare you.
Lucky for you I'm a whimp and I don't dares. Ever.

>I'm sorry about the history there, and I'm sure I can't begin to imagine what that does to a person, but still, I doubt that it justifies suicide or misbehaviour.

I've heard of many teen suicides that end because of it. But I behave myself and I'm not using it as a crutch or excuse.

>Which is not banalising it.

Of course not. I don't really offend easily with that sort of thing. Usually people are polite and don't make asses out of themselves around me.


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Mar 20 19:04:33 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>at least do it creatively, if at all, though.

I do plan on going out on a creative note.

As anyone seen Harold and Maude?


 
Aeon Posted: Sun Mar 20 19:42:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Cherry_Moon said:
>What does everyone in GTland think of it?
>
>Lately I've been having some really punked out feelings. It's hard to explain. I'm miserable all of the time, I've tried looking on the "bright side", I've tried therapy, I'm wondering about meds though I can't afford them, and I've just wanted to stop living. It's hard to explain.
>
>My depression has a face and a body and lives in the back of my head snarling out bitter comments at regular intervals. It's a small girl with big green eyes shaggy brown hair and is aptly dressed in grey and black.
>
>I don't want attention I've got more then enough of that. I just feeling like I've got nothing to lose. I've plenty of friends and I'm a well liked person and I'm doing well in school. I really don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Help? maybe?


I'm guessing you're young so my advice to you is grit your teeth and bear it. When the hormones settle down you'll probably be fine. You'll probably grow out of it. If you feel the same at 20 or 21... then there might be a problem. I don't know of any teenager that wasn't depressed and/or suicidal at one time or another.


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Mar 20 20:39:03 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aeon said:
>I'm guessing you're young so my advice to you is grit your teeth and bear it. When the hormones settle down you'll probably be fine. You'll probably grow out of it. If you feel the same at 20 or 21... then there might be a problem. I don't know of any teenager that wasn't depressed and/or suicidal at one time or another.

I know my adopted parents have told me these things ad nauseam. I just wanted to hear some thoughts from fellow nutballs- er- friends from GT. You know I love you guys. *collective hug*


 
kurohyou Posted: Sun Mar 20 23:11:52 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Cherry_Moon said:
>What does everyone in GTland think of it?
>
When I was younger I drew a hardline that suicide was stupid, idiotic and cowardly action. As I have gotten older, my views on it have not changed, all that much, but I have attempted to step back and seperate the action from the person.

To commit suicide a person has come to the absolute end of their rope. That point were not living is better than continuing to live. I have been down. I have not wanted to go on in the life that I have, but I've always tried to look at things from a situational perspective. I get weary of situations, not of life.

There is a country song out right now, I don't know the name of it but the chorus is "how do you get so lonely?" It talks about a story this guy is reading in the news paper about some teenager who killed himself, and goes about wondering why he did it and how he got so lonely that he felt that ending it all was the best alternative.



>Lately I've been having some really punked out feelings. It's hard to explain. I'm miserable all of the time, I've tried looking on the "bright side", I've tried therapy, I'm wondering about meds though I can't afford them, and I've just wanted to stop living. It's hard to explain.
>

I know little about you, but perhaps your agnst isn't with your "life" but with your "situation." Perhaps you could look into a change of scenery, change of venue, major life change. My experience is that life goes in cycles, and you are bound to have cycles where you are down. The winter months are traditionally bad for me. But hang in there, nothing lasts forever.

>My depression has a face and a body and lives in the back of my head snarling out bitter comments at regular intervals. It's a small girl with big green eyes shaggy brown hair and is aptly dressed in grey and black.
>

Visually interesting. Do you write? Do you have an outlet for self expression? Sounds like something begging to be expressed in some meduim. I don't think I've ever put a face to those types of emotions I've encountered.

>I don't want attention I've got more then enough of that. I just feeling like I've got nothing to lose. I've plenty of friends and I'm a well liked person and I'm doing well in school. I really don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Help? maybe?

Sounds like you've got a lot going for you and you're just in a funk. You'll come out of it. Fear not.

For what it worth...


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Mar 20 23:55:33 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  kurohyou said:
>There is a country song out right now, I don't know the name of it but the chorus is "how do you get so lonely?" It talks about a story this guy is reading in the news paper about some teenager who killed himself, and goes about wondering why he did it and how he got so lonely that he felt that ending it all was the best alternative.

I know about the song and I've heard it on a number of occasions. It's pretty good.

>I know little about you, but perhaps your agnst isn't with your "life" but with your "situation." Perhaps you could look into a change of scenery, change of venue, major life change. My experience is that life goes in cycles, and you are bound to have cycles where you are down. The winter months are traditionally bad for me. But hang in there, nothing lasts forever.

I'm only 16 and I can't really change my venue

>>My depression has a face and a body and lives in the back of my head snarling out bitter comments at regular intervals. It's a small girl with big green eyes shaggy brown hair and is aptly dressed in grey and black.
>>
>
>Visually interesting. Do you write? Do you have an outlet for self expression? Sounds like something begging to be expressed in some meduim.

I write sci-fi and fantasy novels, poetry, I paint, draw, play guitar, piano, write my own music and lyrics, and I sing, I've looked into photography but at the moment it's too expensive antime consuming.


>I don't think I've ever put a face to those types of emotions I've encountered.

No? Like, for me happiness is a thin pale yellow haired girl with white diasies braided into her hair. She wears bright yellow dresses and is loud and silly. I've other characters to. I've really had a lot of time to develop them. I really didn't have any friends until I was 14/15. So I spent my time writing fantasy novels, reading Lord of the Rings, crafting and playing guitar.

>Sounds like you've got a lot going for you and you're just in a funk. You'll come out of it. Fear not.

Yeah I usually do come out it just takes me awhile and I get nervous and scared when I am in a funk

>For what it worth...

Thank you *hug*


 
DanSRose Posted: Mon Mar 21 01:53:02 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think I missed the bus on the suicide thread, but I'm going to say my peace.
I'm home for a bit on break and whenever I come back here I always feel horrible during and after day 3, even now, all doped up. A little secret I have is that when I was in high school and during my 1st summer break, whenever It really hit me, I'd take a walk up to the bridge near my house, to the highest point of it. I'd just stare down at the water from a hundred or 2 feet down and know that if I jumped, it'd take a few hours for anyone to notice and another day before anyone would find me.
Then I realized how pretty it was (not smelled, but then I never liked the smell of fish; but then sometimes after a rain, the fishiness would be gone and all that's left is ocean). I wrote it down, the prettiness. And it seemed silly and stupid, to give up. Then it seemed stupid and I got angry.
I would miss out on doing so much.


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Mon Mar 21 02:02:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  oddly enough I've done the same thing to a bridge close to my house as well. Calulating the time it would take before the stench of decay would evoke curiousity amoung the locals. . .


 
addi Posted: Mon Mar 21 07:07:31 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  For purely selfish reasons I'd hate it if you (or any of my friends) here pulled something like that. We're a family here so to speak....different because most of us don't get to see each other in person, but still in some sense we are personally connected. This April will be my 3rd year here. I haven't continued day in and day out to come back and post well over 4,000 times only because i like to type. It's because there is a real connection to so many of you nutcases (I include myself).
Secondly, if I still had a very strong belief in an afterlife in paradise, I could see where it might make a little sense to end it all if you're at the end of your rope. But the afterlife no longer holds that guarantee for me...it may be nothing more than ceasing to exist. That complete finality can make life here (even one filled with pain) seem a little more attractive and worth fighting for.
We don't always have control over the shit that comes our way. We do have control over how we respond to it. I try to have a perspective of focusing on the remarkable inner beauty of other people, and in the physical world around us, as opposed to dwelling on all the negative ugly hateful crap going on every day. When I can acually pull that off life seems hopeful and good and worth sticking around for.


 
Mark Posted: Mon Mar 21 08:45:21 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I do not look at suicide as something cowardly, but is something that (especially teenagers) do a bit to soon. I've had my share of suicidal thoughts. It isn't that long ago I considered it again. Two times in my life I've been close, but since I'm writing this I indeed didn't do it.

The first time was when I was 15. My parents got divorced, broke up with gf, some other shit happening. The reason I didn't do it was the thought that my close family would be sad and I din't want them to go through the pain.

The second time is only a few months ago.Not being able to live with myself, keeping up a masqerade etc. Now I didn't do it because I really found something to live for... namely my gf and over time my friends. Together we can do everything!


 
addi Posted: Mon Mar 21 10:34:38 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

Everybody Hurts (R.E.M.)


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Mon Mar 21 11:37:52 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addison said:
>When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
>When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
>Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
>
>Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
>When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
>If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
>When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
>
>'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
>Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
>If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
>
>Everybody Hurts (R.E.M.)


I LOVE that song itmakes me cry like a baby. I'm a R.E.M. fan I have yet to hear something they written that I dislike


 



[ Reply to this thread ] [ Start new thread ]