Generation Terrorists » Forum
Sign up   |   Start new thread   |   Lost password?   |   Edit profile   |   Member List   |   myGT   |   Blog
Keyword
From
To
 

this is how stupid they think we are...
iggy Posted: Tue Apr 12 04:58:15 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
Brad Pitt Establishes Angelina Jolie Rumors Hotline

Brad Pitt has come out swinging in an effort to put an end to rumors about his relationship with Angelina Jolie. Beginning at 9:00 a.m. (EDST) on Monday April 11, concerned Pitt fans will be able to dial 1-900-NOT-TRUE to hear Pitt deny in his own voice the latest rumors being printed about him and Angelina Jolie in the false tabloids.

“At 49 cents a minute billed automatically to the telephone number from which a call is made, this service represents a great bargain for Brad Pitt fans everywhere,” said Pitt’s publicist, Cindy Guagenti. “It’s one thing for fans to read Brad’s latest denouncement of false tabloids like US Weekly but quite another for them to hear the note of wry condescension and disdain in his voice as he refers to US Weekly’s editor, Janice Min, as a “two-bit rumor-mongering whore.”

Persons calling 1-900-NOT-TRUE will be greeted by a cheerful message from Pitt himself. "Thank you for calling the Angelina Jolie Rumor Hotline,” says Pitt’s voice in a bright, lifelike greeting. “Because your call is important to us, we have installed the following menu to help facilitate the denial of your favorite rumor. For your protection your call may be monitored. Please listen carefully before making your selection.

"To listen to the menu in Spanish, press 1. To hear me deny that Angelina broke up my marriage to Jennifer Aniston, press 2. To hear me deny stories about my spending several nights in Angelina’s trailer while we were filming Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which is scheduled for a June release, press 2. To hear me deny spending Easter weekend with Angelina at a posh resort while doing publicity for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, in which we play a bored husband-and-wife spy team, press 3. To hear me deny that Angelina and I are planning to get married before the June release of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, press 4. To hear me deny that Angelina is pregnant, press 5. To hear me deny rumors you may not have heard about yet, press 6. To find out how many men—and women—that two-bit, rumor-mongering whore Janice Min, editor of US Weekly, slept with last month, press 7."



 
iggy Posted: Tue Apr 12 04:59:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
yeah that's right. this is how stupid we've become.
i'm gonna set up my own hotline, 1900-GIMME-YO-MONEY-DICKWARD
for 49 cents a minute you get to hear the simpleman say the following

"hi you've called the sucker hotline.
for english, press 1
for other languages, go study frigging english you stupid fuck."

"thank you for waiting... [and i'll let the stupid dumbfucks wait a good fucking ten minutes but i'll play some feel good music that dumb people listen e.g. donnie osmond/mariah carey/any idol winner]

to hear me scream "you are a cunt", press 1
to hear me scream "you are a fucking pussy", press 2
to hear me scream "how fucking stupid can you get fuckface sucker", press 3
to hear me cuss and swear in my native language for a good 10 minds, press 4
hell, just let me charge you 50 bucks without me screaming at you, press 5

please for the love of god, press 5.

thank you, you fuck face."



yeah that's right. this is how stupid we've become.
i'm gonna set up my own hotline, 1900-GIMME-YO-MONEY-DICKWARD
for 49 cents a minute you get to hear the simpleman say the following

"hi you've called the sucker hotline.
for english, press 1
for other languages, go study frigging english you stupid fuck."

"thank you for waiting... [and i'll let the stupid dumbfucks wait a good fucking ten minutes but i'll play some feel good music that dumb people listen e.g. donnie osmond/mariah carey/any idol winner]

to hear me scream "you are a cunt", press 1
to hear me scream "you are a fucking pussy", press 2
to hear me scream "how fucking stupid can you get fuckface sucker", press 3
to hear me cuss and swear in my native language for a good 10 minds, press 4
hell, just let me charge you 50 bucks without me screaming at you, press 5

please for the love of god, press 5.

thank you, you fuck face."



 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 12 06:48:07 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Whoa.


 
novemberrain Posted: Tue Apr 12 07:41:15 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Kind of reminds me of the Simpson's where Marge's sisters have that ball consisting of nothing of (many) locks of MacGyver's hair.

Ah to be a fan.

Sad thing is, I bet a lot of people will call the hotline.

*presses 7*


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 12 07:58:21 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Thevye probably already gotten more calls than Jenny got in all of 1982-1983.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 12 08:20:39 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Thevye probably already gotten more calls than Jenny got in all of 1982-1983.


Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?
You give me something I can hold on to.
I know you think I'm like the others before
Who saw your name and number on the wall.

Jenny, I got your number.
I need to make you mine.
Jenny, don't change your number,
8-6-7-5-3-0-9, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9
8-6-7-5-3-0-9, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9

*not to be confused with our plinker Jenn (her number would only be on bathroom walls in places like the Smithsonian and MIT and such)


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 12 08:25:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yay, someone got it!


 



[ Reply to this thread ] [ Start new thread ]