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Girl issues
Iamjustdancing. Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:15:56 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ahhhhh i haven't posted here in MONTHS, but again i have a steady job and have time to read (not only here and there) the greatness that is the GT Forums. So i will ask advice, because can you think of a thread that is better than asking someone elses advice?! Anyway here it goes.
(just tell me what you think)

I move to tulsa, oklahoma
I find a girl to hang out with at a doctors office (we are both drug reps)
we become fast friends because we are both new to the area.
We hang out.
we goto a ball game
she spends the night (but get this we don't even kiss... but she sleeps in my bed)
She comes over and does laundry last night (second night in a row she is over my house... and for a second night she sleeps in my bed without any physical contact besides laying on eachother)

What the hell.........what should i think? what is this girl trying to tell me? am i missing something? should i make a move? should i risk a friendship (only friend i have in the area)?

this is just confusing for me. i don't know what the hell is going on :I

so i implore you folks for your ideas/opinions on what the hell is going on.



Long time no see,
Dave


 
Asswipe Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:24:24 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  heh, i made that mistake for the last time a couple weekends ago. i'll never again let a girl sleep over w/ out having sex. (unless i ain't interested in her like that and am just being nice and giving her a spot to crash)

so, i say, if you're interested in a physical relationship with the girl, apologize to yourself for letting a couple oppurtunities pass, but don't let it happen again.

and on that note, i gotta go read a whole bunch of feminist literary critiques. (stuff saying how men only use women to fulfil a carnal desire and care only for their physical beauty and the reason for all the make-up, shampoos, leg shaving, et cetera, et cetera is so woman can be objectified and viewed as worthwhile in men's eyes, but really man's view of woman just symbolize man's hatred for his own imperfect self and his inability to reach perfection)

word


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:24:57 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hey! welcome back!

I don't know...

If I were her...assuming she had my personality traits and quirks...I'd say that she likes you but she's shy and waiting for you to make the first move. (i.e.: I would cuddle close to my boyfriend before when we were just friends, flirt, and fight over chair space with him just so we could be near eachother, but I'd never say anything to him, make any move like kissing him, or anything like that.)

Or maybe she just likes your bed.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:37:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  nice to see you back, dave. I lived in Tulsa for 3 god forsaken months : )

I think you need to go for it, but just keep in mind that little thing called "foreplay". You don't have to suddenly jump on her and go for a home run right off the bat.
Take your time...start with the little things and progress from there. Trust me, if she doesn't want you to do anything she'll find a way to convey that message loud and clear. My gut tells me that if she's willing to go to bed with you, then like Libra said, she's open to something more than just sleeping...she's probably just shy.

*and if this all backfires then it's Ludwig's damn fault


 
Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:40:18 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>Or maybe she just likes your bed.

Maybe it's a racecar bed.
Is it a racecar bed, dave? if it were a racecar bed, hell, I'd be inclined to sleep in it.


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:48:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>libra said:
>>Or maybe she just likes your bed.
>
>Maybe it's a racecar bed.
>Is it a racecar bed, dave? if it were a racecar bed, hell, I'd be inclined to sleep in it.

Hahaha. I love you people!

I had a friend when I was little who had a racecar bed. I thought it was cool. But I never slept in it.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:51:09 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *after thought

If you're going to error either way it's best to error on the no sex side. If there's something there between you you'll have opportunities down the road to pursue the physical. Speaking from years of experience, once you have sex with someone it will, in most cases, drastically change the nature of the relationship...sometimes for the better, and sometimes not. If you both really care for each other then it can be fantastic.

Remember to practice safe sex. If it's a race car bed then make sure the emergency brake is on.


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 19 15:53:24 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  On a side note (similar to what addi just said):

Take things slowly if you do make a move. Because nothing is sweeter than those first quiet getting to know you moments. I have fond memories of those times.


 
DanSRose Posted: Tue Apr 19 16:09:57 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I am inclined to agree with Libra on all accounts. Yes.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 19 16:15:08 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>I have fond memories of those times.

I was laughing in a very nasty kind of way when I read this. Sorry.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 19 16:17:07 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ah yes, and about the girl: I'm guessing you can guess the answer.


 
Posted: Tue Apr 19 16:58:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://www.woodzone.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/red-race-car-bed.jpg" />


 
Posted: Tue Apr 19 16:58:48 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  errr
I should've known that wasn't gonna fly.

http://www.woodzone.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/red-race-car-bed.jpg


 
kurohyou Posted: Tue Apr 19 17:26:38 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Iamjustdancing. said:
>ahhhhh i haven't posted here in MONTHS, but again i have a steady job and have time to read (not only here and there) the greatness that is the GT Forums. So i will ask advice, because can you think of a thread that is better than asking someone elses advice?! Anyway here it goes.
>(just tell me what you think)
>
>I move to tulsa, oklahoma
>I find a girl to hang out with at a doctors office (we are both drug reps)
>we become fast friends because we are both new to the area.
>We hang out.
>we goto a ball game
>she spends the night (but get this we don't even kiss... but she sleeps in my bed)
>She comes over and does laundry last night (second night in a row she is over my house... and for a second night she sleeps in my bed without any physical contact besides laying on eachother)
>
>What the hell.........what should i think? what is this girl trying to tell me? am i missing something? should i make a move? should i risk a friendship (only friend i have in the area)?
>

Greetings,

Thought I'd drop in and ramble for a little bit.

I will be the first to tell you that I am oblivous to signs that women give off. so I'm afraid I cannot offer much useful advise on reading her signs.

Here's my take...Given that you both are new to the area, you both are probably giving each other, what the other needs, companionship, contact with another human being. Being in a new place is difficult until you make connections.

Sounds like the two of you have made a connection and that is great. Whether that connection is romantic or platonic in nature is something that you need to determine.

I have been in your situation a number of times and it is a difficult one to be in. The woman I am married to now was my best friend before we pursued anything romantically. As I get older I tend to look more carefully at friendships vs relationships. While there are a myriad of benefits from a romantic relationship, I'm tending to lean more towards remaing friends. Granted I'm married so that's all any of my associates would be regardless, right..right. We won't go there right now

I love my wife, and I would say that we are friends, but she's not my best friend anymore. Something has been lost in the transistion from friendship to romantic partners and from my experience once its lost, it can't be regained.

If I had it to do over again I would probably not marry my wife. Not because I don't love her, but because I crave more than anything that deep friendship which I had with her. That friendship has been lost under a veil of bills, expectations, kids and life. There are some days when I wish more than anything I could have that friendship back.

But enough about me...

Your heart or your gut, which ever you like to listen to, it telling you what to do. Its just a matter of silencing all the other voices which like to chime in to be able to hear it. What does your heart tell you about her and how you feel?

You and you alone know what this connection is that you have with her. It sounds to me that she feels safe with you and trust you. Trust is fragile but will make or break any type of relationship, romantic or not, if its not there.

Listen to what she says when she's not talking, chances are there is something on her end as well but she's just as scared and uncertain as you are. Be patient and the cards will fall where they will, and when they should.

If you ask me the whole proposition is kind of exciting. I wish you the best of luck and hope you keep us informed of the outcome...Good luck to you.

For what its worth...


 
Iamjustdancing. Posted: Tue Apr 19 18:25:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I must say that my bed is UBER comfortable, but unfortunatly is not a racecar bed. (if it was i would have to keep a bat underneath it so i could try to keep the women away from it) Now the girl is great, but i would hardly think of her as shy. But is it ok as a girl to 'use' my bed like that... i mean what kind of message is that sending that she is willing to sleep in my bed, but oh man... so confusing... see this is why women are baaaaaaaad news. I just dont' know... its good to hear your folk's point of view on the matter. Gives me a different side of the story. And just FYI i would be down for a good make out session and not even sex!! i mean i'm not that much of a player.

upon reading signs.... i'm a retard when it comes to women that might have an interest in me unless they are blatantly obvious.. and even then i miss most of the stuff. Anyway she has to come and get the rest of her laundry sometime so i guess i'll take this day by day, and not worry about it too much, for one thing there is not much to worry about :P

dave


 
Iamjustdancing. Posted: Tue Apr 19 18:34:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh and enjoy the new avatar (yes its me *no i'm not drunk*)


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 19 18:42:27 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It looks like you just finished giving king kong a blowjob.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 19 18:50:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Iamjustdancing. said:
>Now the girl is great, but i would hardly think of her as shy. But is it ok as a girl to 'use' my bed like that... i mean what kind of message is that sending that she is willing to sleep in my bed, but oh man...

Are you saying she's a slut and that when she's in your bed it's like it has 2 matrasses in it?

>And just FYI i would be down for a good make out session and not even sex!! i mean i'm not that much of a player.

If you cross the line, cross it good.


 
Iamjustdancing. Posted: Tue Apr 19 18:57:44 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  don't think she's a slut....... but i don't know her all THAT well. and good point ... if i'm going to cross the line... mind as well go for the gold


 
Posted: Tue Apr 19 19:35:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  the key here, dave, is getting the whole ordeal on tape.

if not for humor, then at least for blackmail.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Apr 19 19:55:55 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Maybe it's just me, but it's been my experience that any girl that does laundry at your house and sleeps in the same bed with you would be willing to have sex with you.


 
Ed Posted: Tue Apr 19 20:35:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Iamjustdancing. said:
>laying on each other

Cuddling? Accidents caused by rolling over in the dark? Explain this, please.

Have you thought to (I'm going out on a CRAZY limb here) simply ASK HER? If you must, ask her in an indirect, joke-like fashion.

You've left out all the behavioral details of the relationship beyond the bedroom....


 
Iamjustdancing. Posted: Tue Apr 19 20:53:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  outside the bedroom i do believe she touches me in the kidding around joking fashion i think... like i said i am horrible at reading people when they are right in front of my face like this. Ask her like.... 'you know usually when girls come in my bed i grop them... but i guess i'll have to ask you first' type joking thing... hahah

or even better

grope first, ask questions later.


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 19 21:28:50 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  just make a little move, and then see what she does...

With jonathan and I, he had just come back from visiting back home in vancouver, and we were watching a movie. I had said i was tired, and he grabbed my hand and told me to wake up. He didn't let go of my hand...so i sort of leaned against him and we ended up cuddling through the whole movie. He kissed me that night and my life hasn't been the same since.


 
Posted: Tue Apr 19 21:43:40 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  worst thing that she can do is say no, eh?


 



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