Generation Terrorists » Forum
Sign up   |   Start new thread   |   Lost password?   |   Edit profile   |   Member List   |   myGT   |   Blog
Keyword
From
To
 

Stella Awards
breeze Posted: Wed May 11 16:47:16 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Its once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards.

The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Lieback who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired

the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United States. Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating
McDonalds, the teens who alleged that eating McDonalds has made them
fat, was filed after the 2004 award nominations closed.
This suit will top the 2005 awards list without question.


THIS YEARS AWARDS GO TO:


5th place (tied)

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking an ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
toddler was Mrs. Robertsons son.


5th place (tied)

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.

Truman apparently did not notice that there was someone at the wheel
of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.


5th place (tied)

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, PA was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was not
functioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and the garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the

garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a
large bag of dried dog food. He sued the homeowners
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The
jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.


4th place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbors Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owners fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had

climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with
a pellet gun.


3rd place

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and

broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because
Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier.


2nd place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out her 2 front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.


And the winner is.

1st place

This years runaway winner was Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, OK.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motorhome. On his trip
home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set
his cruise control at 70mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go
into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the

RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not advising
him in the owners manual that he could not actually do this! The jury
awarded
him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motorhome.

The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit
just in case there were any other complete morons buying their
recreational vehicles.


 
Mark Posted: Wed May 11 17:23:43 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sorry to say this, but sometimes I think americans are the most stupid people on earth, since they lack commen sence. Or to refrase that... Some inhabitants of the USA certainly have an IQ no higher than a frozen fish or perhaps a basketball

(and I must apologize for the bad writing... was writen in a rush)


 
DanSRose Posted: Wed May 11 17:48:55 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wolffie said:
>Sorry to say this, but sometimes I think americans are the most stupid people on earth, since they lack commen sence.

I second this.


 
FN Posted: Wed May 11 17:55:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't understand how people aren't more outraged about stuff like this.

Am I the only one who thinks it's a little disturbing that it's the same absurd law system that's handing out death penalties to the American public?


 
Silentmind Posted: Wed May 11 18:12:37 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I should go rob a place, and hurt myself. Then sue. I'd probably win in the states. I think I've found my new calling.


 
addi Posted: Wed May 11 18:31:34 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Silentmind said:
>I should go rob a place, and hurt myself. Then sue. I'd probably win in the states. I think I've found my new calling.

Don't even think about it or I'll sue you!


*it's the fault of all those fanatic liberal judges we have here you know

: )



 
Ahriman Posted: Wed May 11 18:50:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I guess a couple of cases of stupidity automatically makes the millions of other idiots. If so, at least we'll all be rich idiots.

And just as a little comeback for all you Europeans...
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1306055.html


 
Mesh Posted: Wed May 11 19:34:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Thats ridiculous.


 
innocenceNonus Posted: Wed May 11 22:10:55 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ahriman said:
>And just as a little comeback for all you Europeans...
>http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1306055.html

Actually, that just makes me want to turn European. I mean... Americans sue for causing themselves injury. They come off as whiny, useless, and greedy. They make people groan and want to punch them in the face...

Europeans hurt themselves and manage to survive a five-inch blade in the skull?!?!?! SIGN ME UP!!

Just another point to prove that Europe > America.


 
Ed Posted: Wed May 11 22:22:33 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The jury needs to see these things as effects of Natural Selection.


 
Zacq Posted: Wed May 11 22:46:29 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  In defense of myself, none of these took place in New England.


 
Posted: Thu May 12 00:31:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  here in Windsor, a guy is suing Culligan's water for having found a fly in a water jug, but he's suing for emotional and mental damage, too. For weeks, he hasn't been able to look at water (river; running a bath or shower, etc) without becoming physically ill; he's lost sleep about it, won't leave his house, etc.

weird.


 
FN Posted: Thu May 12 06:13:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ahriman said:
>And just as a little comeback for all you Europeans...
>http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1306055.html

A while ago there was a guy who accidently shot himself in the mouth with a nailgun without realising it, and they only found the nail after scanning his head days later. Was an American I believe.

Was a very big nail too.


 



[ Reply to this thread ] [ Start new thread ]