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Believe in Evolution? Have fun in hell!
Mesh Posted: Fri Jun 3 08:30:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1051/1051_01.asp



Reporter: Mr. Meshuggah, recently rumors have been surfacing that you have read the comic strip "Apes, Lies, and Ms. Henn." What do you think about this comic strip?

Meshuggah: Good fucking Lord, no comment.




 
beetlebum Posted: Fri Jun 3 08:40:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  You know, I was given those comic strips by a family on our street every Halloween, and they were always accompanied by a piece of fruit or raisins. It's no wonder they were the most popular family on the block!






 
Mesh Posted: Fri Jun 3 08:54:46 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Heres one for you Catholics.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp

I find the part that says "Poor Helen is completely brainwashed. She believes her system is the only way to heaven..." to be particularly funny.


 
mat_j Posted: Fri Jun 3 09:09:25 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I have a wacko friend who sent me the evolution one before, and one where some Molsem dude is taught the wrongness of his ways by some tank top wearing middle aged guy and converts to Christianity to be saved.


 
beetlebum Posted: Fri Jun 3 09:14:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://www.chick.com/catalog/comics/0102.asp

That's one of the ones we got on Halloween. Heh. Like trick-or-treating is synonymous with worshipping Satan. Yeah, how about notsomuchno.

What wasters.


 
beetlebum Posted: Fri Jun 3 09:22:27 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sorry to go on, but if you look at the comic/book I just posted, even the first few frames are ridiculous. The witch girl is all about the mad power that comes with being a witch. Now, frankly, if I were a dumb kid, that would immediately turn me ON to occult practicies, because, hey, that sounds cool. Jesus' forgiveness? That just sounds lame.

And also, when they ask her if there are any more of these so-called witches, she casually answers, "Only about 80% of my school." Only?! That too is one of the funniest things I have ever read, just because I can't concieve of any school where 80% of the students practice ritual sacrifice and calling the four corners of the earth and all of that other mumbojumbo. Although it would be funny, I have to admit. No cliques, just covens. Nice.

Hm. So this post was pointless, but it felt goooood. Grin.

PS: When she's finally saved, she looks demented.



 
mat_j Posted: Fri Jun 3 09:38:38 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
>
>PS: When she's finally saved, she looks demented.
>
Yeah, I love the way she says "I'm in love with jesus!" Wonder if she realises he's not going to get naked in a glade and commit carnal acts with her like the devil did?


-Dude do you love Jesus?
-Like totally!
-But are you in love with Jesus?
- I don't know he had some of his friends call at my house the other day with some magazine about HIM!
-No way?
-Yeah and we like can't make out at his place because it's his fathers house, in fact we can't make out anywhere cause his dad is like everywhere!


 
DanSRose Posted: Fri Jun 3 09:43:33 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Anotehr favorite, this one of ing of homosexuality! Hurrah!
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp

I thought the evils of Dundgeons and Dragons was that you weigh 300 pounds and smel like funions.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

I don't know even know what to think of this.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1019/1019_01.asp

And a heartwarming one about the Holocaust, with a central message of "Hate the Catholic, Pity the Jew."
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0054/0054_01.asp


 
addi Posted: Fri Jun 3 10:13:40 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Heres one for you Catholics.
>
>http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp

Well this is a fine how do you do! Now I have to find out what GTers are catholic so I can make sure I stop talking to them. Dang!
They're concentrated evil.

*and I didn't evolve from no stinkin' monkey. I evolved from giant prehistoric squirrels (squirrelnutasaurus).


 
beetlebum Posted: Fri Jun 3 10:40:35 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>Anotehr favorite, this one of ing of homosexuality! Hurrah!
>http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp
>
I needed a good laugh, and this one was fantastic for that. "These are the ways gays are changing the way little school children think."

Damn gay dentists invading public schools! Really, that comic does have a point. The gay dentists making out in schools everywhere have got to be stopped.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Jun 3 10:59:14 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm pretty sure that I evolved from the Thongus grande obesus


 
boondock743 Posted: Fri Jun 3 12:05:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i read that first comic about evololution and i can honestly say:
"IF THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS IS SERIOUS, THEY NEED TO BE DRAGGED OUT INTO THE STREET AND SHOT REPEATEDLY (THEN STABBED... AND MAYBE SHOT AGIAN)!!"


 
Posted: Fri Jun 3 12:10:01 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  lol yeah, Chick tracks. I remember those.

I can honestly say I've read every one that was posted on that site, or at least all the ones that were there in November (I really didn't want to study).

They bother me quite a lot. They break a very important rule of mine: That, if heaven and hell do exist, a pious or good person will get into heaven regardless of religious conviction.


 
Mark Posted: Fri Jun 3 15:31:24 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1051/1051_01.asp

I'm not sure who's been brainwashed more... susy or ms henn.

First I thought it was a joke, but it is actually serious. Anyways... Where in the bible is told that the world was created 6000 years ago? Perhaps I missed that piece of information.


 
Posted: Sat Jun 4 02:23:45 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wolffie said:
>meshuggah said:
>>http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1051/1051_01.asp
>
>I'm not sure who's been brainwashed more... susy or ms henn.
>
>First I thought it was a joke, but it is actually serious. Anyways... Where in the bible is told that the world was created 6000 years ago? Perhaps I missed that piece of information.

It's by the fact that the ancestry of Joseph is traced back to Abraham... and Noah... and eventually, Adam and Eve. Giving them the benefit of the doubt (and disregarding the claim that Abraham lived to be 590), it adds up to about 6000 years.


 
DanSRose Posted: Sat Jun 4 03:18:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It's still stupid. The end.
I should stop reading these. They only depress me/make me want to break something over someone.


 
Mesh Posted: Sat Jun 4 05:46:05 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  They make me want to open my heart to Jesus and accept him as my Lord and Saviour!






Or, not. They just make me even gladder that I am not very religious.


 
Mark Posted: Sat Jun 4 11:00:03 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  >It's by the fact that the ancestry of Joseph is traced back to Abraham... and Noah... and eventually, Adam and Eve. Giving them the benefit of the doubt (and disregarding the claim that Abraham lived to be 590), it adds up to about 6000 years.

oh yes I remember reading something about that a long time ago. If my memory is right the one who figured this out also said it was created at 8 am or so...

Anyway other question to believers out here or anyone who knows the answer... Why did God created the Dinosours only to let them be extinct and making us (paleontologists (sp?)) believe they lived 65 million of years ago over a time span of well over a 100 million years? Giving his creation some history? Or do we indeed live in the Matrix?


 
Mesh Posted: Sat Jun 4 11:08:05 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dont be silly, Wolffie! It was satan who buried the bones of Dinosaurs to deceive us, and lead us astray of the path of righteousness!


Where is Trog when you need him, he would love(hate) this thread.


 
DanSRose Posted: Sat Jun 4 11:43:28 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  That blood vessel above my eye throbs a bit too much when read this, so I may have missed this: is there a stem cell research one? 'Cause I'd love to see them explain that.

And now for your enjoyment, The Tycoon, all about the evils of Buddhism.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0016/0016_01.asp

And why you are a dirty whore if you get an abortion
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1009/1009_01.asp


 
Mark Posted: Sat Jun 4 13:47:14 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Dont be silly, Wolffie! It was satan who buried the bones of Dinosaurs to deceive us, and lead us astray of the path of righteousness!
Yeah, but God created those bones :p


 
Ed Posted: Sat Jun 4 16:22:28 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>I thought the evils of Dundgeons and Dragons was that you weigh 300 pounds and smel like funions.

Not if the funions get stuck in the machine.


 
Mesh Posted: Sat Jun 4 17:25:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wolffie said:
>meshuggah said:
>>Dont be silly, Wolffie! It was satan who buried the bones of Dinosaurs to deceive us, and lead us astray of the path of righteousness!
>Yeah, but God created those bones :p


I'm not religious, so I dont know how to counter that. But......it might go something like this.




Jesus is the way repent or burn in Hell DO NOT QUESTION THE BIBLE!


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Jun 5 09:42:17 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>a very important rule of mine: That, if heaven and hell do exist, a pious or good person will get into heaven regardless of religious conviction.
>
My feelings exactly.
For if it were true that Christ is the only path to heaven and there is no other, then Ghandi is burning in hell right now.
A rather absurd thought don't you think ?


 
Mesh Posted: Sun Jun 5 10:23:02 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Here is a story about a game show. On this show, you have your Host, one player, and 500 men each with a beautifuly wrapped box. On this show, only one out of the 500 men with a wrapped box actually has a gift. The rest have an empty box. Each man will try to convince the player that HE is the one with the gift, and insist that the player pick him. They will all present a good case as to why they actually have the gift, and the other men are liars. Then, after hearing out all 500 men and why he should pick him, the player will have to choose one, and ONLY ONE man and take his box. If he chooses the right box, inside it is an ornament whos beauty is beyond words. Then, because he chose correctly, he is sent to live in a place of his choosing, in a beautiful mansion with all the luxuries he could ever dream of, and more. He will live out the rest of his life there, never having to work again. If, however, he chooses one of the 499 men with an empty box, then he will open the box to see that it is empty. At this time, the game show Host will inform him that he will be sent to a terrible prison where he will be put through the most horrible torture conceivable, on a daily basis. For the rest of his life.


 
DanSRose Posted: Sun Jun 5 11:02:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oddly enough, hif's and Mesh's posts reminded of Chuck Palahniuk (Mesh is capitals because a while ago he had a really hot girl as an avatar and hif's wood isn't doing it for me).
In his new one "Haunted", there are a series about a Nightmare Box (stop reading here if you ARE going to read Haunted), which when you look into it, you stop caring about life and living, because you've seen Through reality into the most beautiful ... most beautiful THING there is. It drives you, what looks like, into madness.
People who write those Chick Tracts don't see anything beautiful. I've met the crazy people on campus who gave out the evolution, an Islam, a homosexuality (Doom Town), a great read about the Sex and the AIDS (That Crazy GUY!). Whatever.
I really do doubt that they've ever had a moment of happiness, and, if they did, they saw it as a sin and repented. This is why I feel sick.


 
dredwolff Posted: Mon Jun 6 13:33:27 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ha! Here's the other side :)
http://cheston.com/pbf/archive.html


 
Frin Posted: Mon Jul 4 00:41:35 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>In his new one "Haunted", there are a series about a Nightmare Box (stop reading here if you ARE going to read Haunted), which when you look into it, you stop caring about life and living, because you've seen Through reality into the most beautiful ... most beautiful THING there is. It drives you, what looks like, into madness.

I took it as a frightening thing that you create from the glimpse of what you saw that makes you accept your fate... Perhaps I shall have to go and read it again.

As for religion, don't you think that after a few (thousand) years hell wouldn't be at all bad? I mean by that time you'd probably have forgotten what 'fun' or 'good' was, so without anything to contrast, hell wouldn't be so bad. Probably boring in fact. As heaven would become after such a timeline. With no bad to contrast, good becomes medio-core.
Religion just doesn’t do it for me, it’s ‘conveniently ignorant’ and close-minded. The one that makes the most sense is Buddhism. Its guidelines are practical and reasonable, I'm not sure about the whole "Nirvana" thing, but there has to be some proclaimed reward, otherwise how does it compete with all the other religions? =P (said slightly incoherently due to tongue in cheek) There’s more buzzing around in this strange little head of mine, but I shall leave it at that for now. In closing; "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." – Buddha (That and other such teachings are why I am partial to the Buddhist faith)
Goodnight. Sleep tight. And don’t let the snails bite.
-Frin
P.S. Tonight’s mildly amusing quote- " A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." ;)



 
Dude Posted: Sat Nov 5 13:29:58 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Huh?????


 
maybeitwillwork Posted: Fri Mar 24 02:25:34 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Personally as I watched the video I couldn't stop laughing.

I think that sums up my reaction and opinion well enough.


 
son-perdition Posted: Mon Apr 16 20:37:23 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  sata setup the http://jesus-survival.com/Abomination-desolation.htm


 



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