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Capitalism
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Jun 30 10:08:09 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and
the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
owns eight cows, with an option on one more. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
the numbers.
AN ALABAMA CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left is kinda cute...


 
Nikki Posted: Thu Jun 30 10:42:42 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  yay Capitalism...I earn a whopping 150,000 U.S. as a psychologist...and I only work 4 hours a day...thank you thank you capitalism!!!!!!

are you jealous? mutter fuckers!!!!! ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


 
Nikki Posted: Thu Jun 30 10:43:42 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  everyone here is not only jealous of my money and freedom but of my good looks too! too bad for you...maybe you will get to come back again? and do it RIGHT? lol


 
FN Posted: Thu Jun 30 10:46:05 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Lying on a bench doesn't make you a psychologist, nikki ;o)


 
Nikki Posted: Thu Jun 30 10:47:59 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  LMAO


 
Nikki Posted: Thu Jun 30 10:48:28 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  TOUCHE! Christophe :-)


 
Zacq Posted: Thu Jun 30 10:54:01 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  For a complete catalog:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/You_have_two_cows


 
addi Posted: Thu Jun 30 11:00:34 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nikki said:
>yay Capitalism...I earn a whopping 150,000 U.S. as a psychologist

Every time I think about Nikki being a psychologist I smile

Healthy minds come in to see her, and by the time she's done with them they're all fucked up

and much poorer too
: )



 
Merqri Posted: Thu Jun 30 14:20:25 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nikki said:
>yay Capitalism...I earn a whopping 150,000 U.S. as a psychologist...and I only work 4 hours a day...thank you thank you capitalism!!!!!!
>
>are you jealous? mutter fuckers!!!!! ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Psychologist dont know what the fuck they do. Period.


 
DanSRose Posted: Thu Jun 30 18:50:04 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Merqri said:
>Psychologist dont know what the fuck they do. Period.

Why? What did yours' tell you?


 
Merqri Posted: Thu Jun 30 19:01:09 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>Merqri said:
>>Psychologist dont know what the fuck they do. Period.
>
>Why? What did yours' tell you?

Dan SRose mines told me to tell you to get off my dick.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Jun 30 19:12:44 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I went to a Psychologist once. Told me I have anger problem.


What the fuck is that all about?!?! You had to go to school how many years to tell me that? Anyone whos seen me for two days knows that shit!


 
DanSRose Posted: Thu Jun 30 21:00:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Merqri said:
>Dan SRose mines told me to tell you to get off my dick.

That's funny. You're funny.

Everyone has issues, things holding them back from whatever it is would make them content. Both in the moment or in the long term.

I like capitalism. It's a better option than other systems. Even its corruption.


 
Merqri Posted: Thu Jun 30 21:16:47 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>I went to a Psychologist once. Told me I have anger problem.
>
>
>What the fuck is that all about?!?! You had to go to school how many years to tell me that? Anyone whos seen me for two days knows that shit!

^THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE!


 
addi Posted: Thu Jun 30 21:51:55 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  lol
I'm sensing some anger towards psychologists here

people...calm down...take a deep breath...go to your happy place

There are shit doctors and good doctors. There are shit chefs and good chefs. There are shit mechanics and good mechanics.
Ya see where I'm going with this?
Because some of you may have had a bad experience with a psychologist doesn't mean the whole profession is worthless. Actually the good ones have helped many people live a happier and more productive life...
the trick is finding a good one.

*and Merqri, I've known Dan for awhile here. I really don't think he was "getting on your dick". I think he was asking about your experiences to make you feel that way. Keep your anger geared at dumb american politicians, not at people you don't know here.


 
DanSRose Posted: Thu Jun 30 21:55:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>There are shit doctors and good doctors. There are shit chefs and good chefs. There are shit mechanics and good mechanics.

I don't ever want a shit cook. That's rude and they've seen/read Fight Club too many times. And if your mechanic is a shit mechanic, he's really doing something wrong.

>*and Merqri, I've known Dan for awhile here. I really don't think he was "getting on your dick". I think he was asking about your experiences to make you feel that way. Keep your anger geared at dumb american politicians, not at people you don't know here.

Thank you addi. That mean alot. I was also making a joke. I thought it was funny.


 
kurohyou Posted: Thu Jun 30 22:24:59 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>lol
>I'm sensing some anger towards psychologists here
>
>people...calm down...take a deep breath...go to your happy place
>
>There are shit doctors and good doctors. There are shit chefs and good chefs. There are shit mechanics and good mechanics.
>Ya see where I'm going with this?
>Because some of you may have had a bad experience with a psychologist doesn't mean the whole profession is worthless. Actually the good ones have helped many people live a happier and more productive life...
>the trick is finding a good one.
>
Ditto.




 
Ed Posted: Thu Jun 30 23:03:09 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Actually the good ones have helped many people live a happier and more productive life...

"Why didn't anyone else ever tell me I had an anger problem? WHY?!"

DanSRose said:
>And if your mechanic is a shit mechanic, he's really doing something wrong.

Not unless he needs a proctologist.
...Need an ass man, Addi?


 
Merqri Posted: Fri Jul 1 02:35:37 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>lol
>I'm sensing some anger towards psychologists here
>
>people...calm down...take a deep breath...go to your happy place
>
>There are shit doctors and good doctors. There are shit chefs and good chefs. There are shit mechanics and good mechanics.
>Ya see where I'm going with this?
>Because some of you may have had a bad experience with a psychologist doesn't mean the whole profession is worthless. Actually the good ones have helped many people live a happier and more productive life...
>the trick is finding a good one.
>
>*and Merqri, I've known Dan for awhile here. I really don't think he was "getting on your dick". I think he was asking about your experiences to make you feel that way. Keep your anger geared at dumb american politicians, not at people you don't know here.

I'll keep that in mind. Sorry Dan ;)


 
innocenceNonus Posted: Fri Jul 1 03:02:08 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm going to be a psychologist. Or maybe a research one.

Also, just an opinion...

1. If your psychologist isn't helping you, maybe you should switch.

2. Aren't you supposed to see a psychologist if you've got a mental problem you can't solve yourself? So why not let them know what you already know. Or let them know what you want to know about yourself. That sorta thing.

3. Greedy psychologists who overcharge for services should get a nice punch in the ovaries for not doing anything... And overpaid psychologists should give their extra money toward a good cause. After all, in the psychologist's neverending journey to learn more about the mind, what is money unused?? Eh eh eh??

Yeah. I'm an idealist.


 
Mesh Posted: Fri Jul 1 03:20:50 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  innocenceNonus said:
>Tiramisu


I know you had a point here, innocence, but I just cant stop thinking about mouth-watering Tiramisu.






Just kidding :p, I get what youre saying.


 
addi Posted: Fri Jul 1 08:31:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ed said:


>...Need an ass man, Addi?

Not today. There are people here at my office ready to assist me in that area, but thank you for asking.

*my work station is down and no IT person around to fix it so I'm at someone else's computer today.

I hate touching someone else's mouse!
: (




 
Mesh Posted: Fri Jul 1 08:40:17 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>
>*my work station is down and no IT person around to fix it so I'm at someone else's computer today.
>
>


Be sure to clear the history! You dont want them finding out about GT~~~~ ~!




 
addi Posted: Fri Jul 1 09:13:31 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Damgaard said:

>Be sure to clear the history! You dont want them finding out about GT~~~~ ~!

Good point. In fact just to be extra safe I'm going to light this computer on fire when I'm finished.





 
Mesh Posted: Fri Jul 1 09:16:23 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Jep, you can never be too careful. I'd suggest using a SledgeHammer on it first, before setting it on fire.


 
innocenceNonus Posted: Fri Jul 1 13:19:55 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Meshuggah said:
>innocenceNonus said:
>>Tiramisu
>
>
>I know you had a point here, innocence, but I just cant stop thinking about mouth-watering Tiramisu.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>Just kidding :p, I get what youre saying.

Mesh, I love you. A lot. ^^


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Jul 1 13:23:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I love tiramisu


 
Ed Posted: Fri Jul 1 15:10:58 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>*my work station is down and no IT person around to fix it so I'm at someone else's computer today.

Aw. Did somebody turn the brightness down on your monitor? ;)

Sorry, I'm always getting to hear the terrible stories of plugs in the wrong places and coffee rings in the cd tray.


 
addi Posted: Fri Jul 1 16:39:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ed said:

>Aw. Did somebody turn the brightness down on your monitor? ;)

You 'lil stinker!

: )

Actually some kind of very creative spyware has embedded itself very deep into it i think. Norton can't find it. Spybot and Ad-Aware can't either..and it's hijacked my ie browser and it's pissing me off.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Jul 1 16:55:04 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Ed said:
>
>>Aw. Did somebody turn the brightness down on your monitor? ;)
>
>You 'lil stinker!
>
>: )
>
>Actually some kind of very creative spyware has embedded itself very deep into it i think. Norton can't find it. Spybot and Ad-Aware can't either..and it's hijacked my ie browser and it's pissing me off.
>
I'ts those porn sites again.
Goddam naked sheep !


 
innocenceNonus Posted: Fri Jul 1 17:26:42 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  filthy mcnasty said:
>I love tiramisu

cute, hif. cute.

i mean, filthy mcnasty. my bad.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Jul 1 17:54:32 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  innocenceNonus said:
>filthy mcnasty said:
>>I love tiramisu
>
>cute, hif. cute.
>
>i mean, filthy mcnasty. my bad.
>
Call me hif,
call me king thong,
call me filthy mcnasty,
just don't call me late for my tiramisu.


 
Mouse Posted: Fri Jul 1 19:45:50 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>I hate touching someone else's Mouse!
>: (
>
Oh dear.


 
addi Posted: Fri Jul 1 21:52:56 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:

>Oh dear.

lol

Are you someone else's mouse?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Jul 1 23:32:27 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mmmmmm, touching mouse
what a nice mental picture . . .


 
Mouse Posted: Sun Jul 3 11:31:30 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  filthy mcnasty said:
>mmmmmm, touching mouse
>what a nice mental picture . . .

Glad to entertain, darling. Enjoy.

Why on earth did you change your name hif?


 
Mouse Posted: Sun Jul 3 11:35:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Mouse said:
>>Oh dear.
>
>lol
>Are you someone else's mouse?

Perhaps. At the very least I'm not your mouse.

Mousie


 
addi Posted: Sun Jul 3 11:43:58 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:

>Perhaps. At the very least I'm not your mouse.

Well that was just mean


 
Mouse Posted: Sun Jul 3 11:57:12 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Mouse said:
>
>>Perhaps. At the very least I'm not your mouse.
>
>Well that was just mean

Aww, I'm sorry addi, it wasn't meant to be mean.
I was just joshing you.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Jul 3 13:03:08 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hey mouse, I would like to lick your back for you sometime.
izzatokwithyou ?


 
Mouse Posted: Sun Jul 3 13:41:51 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  filthy mcnasty said:
>Hey mouse, I would like to lick your back for you sometime.
>izzatokwithyou ?

Maybe, but only if you'll paint my toenails too.


 
addi Posted: Sun Jul 3 14:06:53 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:

>Aww, I'm sorry addi, it wasn't meant to be mean.
>I was just joshing you.

: )

I know Mousie.
*but be careful with Mcnasty..i don't think he's had all his shots


 
Mouse Posted: Sun Jul 3 14:39:05 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>*but be careful with Mcnasty..i don't think he's had all his shots

I'm wouldn't be too concerned, I haven't had mine either. And I actually am known to bite.

Mouse


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Jul 3 16:28:24 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  oh baby, oh baby !


 
Nikki Posted: Mon Jul 4 10:09:04 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Except for Addi and Christophe...you are ALL FUCKED UP TOO !!!!ahahahahahah


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Jul 4 10:18:40 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I can just imagine nikki walking around scratching her ass all day because she's got a case of the old mudbutt, with her stringy greasy matted hair and a stomach full of sperm from five different guys that had a quarter to spare.
She's a pole smoking, cum guzzing gutter slut.

If she also happens to be your mother, I apologize.


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Jul 4 10:30:17 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nikki said:
>Except for Addi and Christophe...you are ALL FUCKED UP TOO !!!!ahahahahahah


Thank you.


 
Nikki Posted: Mon Jul 4 12:23:15 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  hahahaha so much attention...ho hum....but you little maggots don't impress or excite me much...sort of like a "snack" maybe? ahahahahaha

I LOVE you messhuga whose the "filthy" one she's a mean lady! :-)


 



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