Generation Terrorists » Forum
Sign up   |   Start new thread   |   Lost password?   |   Edit profile   |   Member List   |   myGT   |   Blog
Keyword
From
To
 

coming soon, to an x-rated video store near you
Posted: Wed Jul 6 19:50:50 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'll get straight to the point: I've been away for about a week, stopping in sporatically because my computer exploded last thursday. This post is in regards to my whereabouts since then, specifically the porn that I was filmed in.


yeah, you heard right. I did a porn. In Southfield, Michigan, about 40 minutes out of Detroit proper.

I work in men's retail during the day (I sell suits), and an older looking woman (I'd guess 40) came in and said she needed a bunch of tuxedo shirts and bowties, yada yada yada, varying sizes, here's the list.

On the list, everybody's name said "Scene 4B - Poolside" or "Scene 8 - Orgy", etc. She saw that I was eyeing the list kind of weird, and she spilled her guts about it.

She's an intern for a company that's shooting a porn. For the sake of none of you GTers identifying my wang, I'll not post the company's name or working title of the movie, but as far as adult film companies working in Southfield go... there aren't many. I'll leave it at that.

I, being a guy, asked her how one goes about breaking into the world of porn.

"how does one go about breaking into the world of porn? I haven't got an extravagantly large package and I can't blow my wad 30 feet, but I've always just wondered about it, I guess"

"well, the idea isn't to be overly wonderful on film if you're a man in adult entertainment. Most viewers are men, and they don't particularly like being outdone, especially not in the penis department. The key is to have a really attractive woman attached to you, or to be gay."

"well, i'm no poofter, and i'm unnattached. I guess I'm shit outtaluck. Well, it's okay. Working here doesn't bother me much, anyhow"

"You know what? What time are you off at?"

"Now"

"You need to come to Southfield with me."

And I did. I have no speaking part in the film, but I am QUITE naked. I'm supposed to be a mannequinne "coming to life" (cliche, no?) with a lot of sexy lady mannequinnes. I'm not acknowledged during the movie or anything, but I get to stand naked in a crowd of hot naked chicks for like 30 minutes. That was fantastic. We all kind of sprawl about and such.

It was funny. When I got there they made me shower and do some cleanliness-related stuff, that was weird 'cause there were a bunch of male actors there doing the same stuff, but it was totally worth it for the $400 USD I got for doing the part.

So, there. That's how my saturday went. I didn't talk to any of the porn stars (the main chick wasn't all that sexy anyway) or get any numbers, but god damnit, I can successfully say that I'm to at least some extent an adult film star.


 
addi Posted: Wed Jul 6 19:58:38 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wow...my saturday wasn't anything like that! I had my clothes on in front of other people the whole damn weekend.

*I have a few questions, but something tells me I should just keep them to myself.



 
libra Posted: Wed Jul 6 20:06:30 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  you crazy crazy boy.

i kinda admire you for this.


 
Posted: Wed Jul 6 20:07:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:

>*I have a few questions, but something tells me I should just keep them to myself.

I'll answer them for you anyway, Addi:
1. a hundred thousand inches
2. like a stallion


 
FN Posted: Wed Jul 6 20:14:33 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Haha

That's too fucking cool man

I couldn't be more jealous, seriously.


 
FN Posted: Wed Jul 6 20:15:15 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  But I told you before, lose the hat and the indoor sunglasses


 
addi Posted: Wed Jul 6 20:38:20 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:

>I'll answer them for you anyway, Addi:
>1. a hundred thousand inches
>2. like a stallion

It's...it's...it's like you read my mind!

: )


 
Asswipe Posted: Wed Jul 6 21:41:21 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i'm also jealous... i gotta keep my eyes open for strange lists.


 
iggy Posted: Wed Jul 6 23:14:09 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  BLLODY HELL!


 
DanSRose Posted: Thu Jul 7 01:35:06 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  "poofter". That's a great word.

And, well, congrats.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Jul 7 02:41:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Welcome to the wonderful world of pornographic acting!


 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Jul 7 06:53:07 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  cool cool cool !

Do you have an agent yet ?


 
addi Posted: Thu Jul 7 07:49:59 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Had to revisit this thread. It just cracks me up.



CriminalSaint said:

>I haven't got an extravagantly large package and I can't blow my wad 30 feet

lol...I had NO idea 30 feet was the standard of excellance for wad distance. GT is such a good source for useful information.



>We all kind of sprawl about and such.

Director: "Okay, in this scene you mannequins will start sprawling about.....and such...
Quiet on the set...Ready....ACTION!"

(Cheesey background music starts)

Director: CUT!...Stop!..Hey, mannequin #3, you're not sprawling..you're wiggling.

Mannequin #3: I need to know my motivation for sprawling, Sir...it seems like I should be wiggling.

Director: (mutters to assistant)It's a good thing this guy can shoot his wad 30 feet, or else I'd fire his ass...

Director: You see you're a mannequin in this department store, and you're not alive, cuz mannequins are dead...and you're with all these other guy and girl mannequins...and you're all naked cuz the store clerk didn't put clothes on you, and after the store closes all you dead mannequins magically come alive, like in Pinnochio, and you see all the alive naked chick mannequins around you...so you get all horny...and that makes you want to start sprawling......and such. Get it?



: )
too funny, Crim, aka Dirk Diggler




 
FN Posted: Thu Jul 7 08:06:39 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Question: didn't you get a huge boner standing around all those probably goodlooking naked chicks with some live action going on as well?


 
Posted: Thu Jul 7 10:04:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Question: didn't you get a huge boner standing around all those probably goodlooking naked chicks with some live action going on as well?

Yep.

:)


 
Ed Posted: Thu Jul 7 12:33:34 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It would be rude not to.


 
Nikki Posted: Thu Jul 7 12:36:47 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint!!!!!
mmmmmmmmmm :-)


 
FN Posted: Thu Jul 7 13:16:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Don't tell me you were in it too, nikki?


 
Ahriman Posted: Thu Jul 7 13:55:48 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I tip my hat to you


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Thu Jul 7 16:52:43 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  All I have to say is:

I want to see crim naked. and possibly getting it on.

*blushes and flees*


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Jul 7 17:55:48 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Fucking hell I blame you crim for what happened to my computer. You cursed it by writing about your computer blowing up. My computer saw this and thought "well, this guy was in a porn, and HIS computer screwed up.....HOLY SHIT!@!@#35!!!!!! Thats cool, thats what all the cool computers are doing this days". So then my computer tried to acting cool, and it fucked up too and I had to completely start from scratch with it, like it was straight out of the assembly plant.






 
Posted: Thu Jul 7 18:07:39 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  2d said:
>All I have to say is:
>
>I want to see crim naked. and possibly getting it on.
>
>*blushes and flees*

nah, I'm not getting it on in the movie at all. I'm not fucking, just...exposed. yes, exposed.


 
Posted: Thu Jul 7 18:08:17 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Meshuggah said:
>Fucking hell I blame you crim for what happened to my computer. You cursed it by writing about your computer blowing up. My computer saw this and thought "well, this guy was in a porn, and HIS computer screwed up.....HOLY SHIT!@!@#35!!!!!! Thats cool, thats what all the cool computers are doing this days". So then my computer tried to acting cool, and it fucked up too and I had to completely start from scratch with it, like it was straight out of the assembly plant.

ah, craziness. I'm buying a new compy rather than having my old one fixed up; it was having trouble running multiple apps anyway.


 
novemberrain Posted: Thu Jul 7 18:29:00 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Had to revisit this thread. It just cracks me up.
>
>
>
>CriminalSaint said:
>
>>I haven't got an extravagantly large package and I can't blow my wad 30 feet
>
>lol...I had NO idea 30 feet was the standard of excellance for wad distance. GT is such a good source for useful information.
>
>
>
>>We all kind of sprawl about and such.
>
>Director: "Okay, in this scene you mannequins will start sprawling about.....and such...
>Quiet on the set...Ready....ACTION!"
>
>(Cheesey background music starts)
>
>Director: CUT!...Stop!..Hey, mannequin #3, you're not sprawling..you're wiggling.
>
>Mannequin #3: I need to know my motivation for sprawling, Sir...it seems like I should be wiggling.
>
>Director: (mutters to assistant)It's a good thing this guy can shoot his wad 30 feet, or else I'd fire his ass...
>
>Director: You see you're a mannequin in this department store, and you're not alive, cuz mannequins are dead...and you're with all these other guy and girl mannequins...and you're all naked cuz the store clerk didn't put clothes on you, and after the store closes all you dead mannequins magically come alive, like in Pinnochio, and you see all the alive naked chick mannequins around you...so you get all horny...and that makes you want to start sprawling......and such. Get it?
>
>
>
>: )
>too funny, Crim, aka Dirk Diggler
>
>

LOL
damn that was funny, addi

I seem to be recalling a tv show (on nickelodeon, maybe?) a loooong time ago about a mannequin that would come alive after store hours. But he was definately not naked. Or if he was, I was terribly traumatized by it and blocked out the memory. I don't recall there being much sprawling though...

And kudos to you, Crim.


 
misszero Posted: Thu Jul 7 20:56:31 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  wasn't thre an Olivia Newton John movie where she was a mannequin who came to life to make a little girl's Christmas wish for a mother come true?

(I'm posing this as a question, despite the fact i know for sure there was, and it was called Mom FGor Christmas, and i made my family watch it every year)


 
FN Posted: Thu Jul 7 21:13:29 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It's called a rhetorical question, my dear.


And once more: I salute you Crim.


 
Posted: Thu Jul 7 22:53:58 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  novemberrain said:

>I seem to be recalling a tv show (on nickelodeon, maybe?) a loooong time ago about a mannequin that would come alive after store hours. But he was definately not naked. Or if he was, I was terribly traumatized by it and blocked out the memory. I don't recall there being much sprawling though...
>
>And kudos to you, Crim.

Today's Special!

http://www.megsplace.com/TimeWarp/tspecial.html

I totally used to watch this when I was a kid, in between aspiring to be a pornstar.


 
DanSRose Posted: Fri Jul 8 03:41:52 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It was also one of the better, in terms of creepy, Twilight Zones.
A woman goes shopping through a mall and swears the mannequins are following her. She gets locked in after closing and all of the Macy's mannequins start chasing her, which Sterling did in the most convincing and haunting ways, until she's completely surrounded. Then there's the ending, which is worth watching and is creepy and not worth spoiling, but I will if asked. It's one of those things worth watching to get caught in the story telling.


 
libra Posted: Fri Jul 8 05:21:10 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>novemberrain said:
>
>>I seem to be recalling a tv show (on nickelodeon, maybe?) a loooong time ago about a mannequin that would come alive after store hours. But he was definately not naked. Or if he was, I was terribly traumatized by it and blocked out the memory. I don't recall there being much sprawling though...
>>
>>And kudos to you, Crim.
>
>Today's Special!
>
>http://www.megsplace.com/TimeWarp/tspecial.html
>
>I totally used to watch this when I was a kid, in between aspiring to be a pornstar.

I loved that show when i was a kid. wasn't there a mouse, too?


 
novemberrain Posted: Fri Jul 8 05:55:04 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>novemberrain said:
>
>>I seem to be recalling a tv show (on nickelodeon, maybe?) a loooong time ago about a mannequin that would come alive after store hours. But he was definately not naked. Or if he was, I was terribly traumatized by it and blocked out the memory. I don't recall there being much sprawling though...
>>
>>And kudos to you, Crim.
>
>Today's Special!
>
>http://www.megsplace.com/TimeWarp/tspecial.html
>
>I totally used to watch this when I was a kid, in between aspiring to be a pornstar.

Yes! Thank you. That was going to bug me until I figured out if I really was remembering correctly, or just making things up.


 
addi Posted: Fri Jul 8 06:58:16 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  novemberrain said:

>LOL
>damn that was funny, addi


: )

Thanks, Nov. "Sprawling and such" just hit me as such a funny phrase. And any dialog that goes on during a filming of a porn movie is good material for my warped imagination.

*and Crim...if you get any still shots of the movie Ludwig requests that you to send them my way. He'd like to "work" on one for an avatar pic.
: )


 
Posted: Fri Jul 8 21:43:04 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>novemberrain said:
>
>>LOL
>>damn that was funny, addi
>
>
>: )
>
>Thanks, Nov. "Sprawling and such" just hit me as such a funny phrase. And any dialog that goes on during a filming of a porn movie is good material for my warped imagination.
>
>*and Crim...if you get any still shots of the movie Ludwig requests that you to send them my way. He'd like to "work" on one for an avatar pic.
>: )

hah
I think maybe I'll be able to do that. Give me a few days to see if I can get ahold of that broad again.


 



[ Reply to this thread ] [ Start new thread ]