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Love is not equal
CorDrine Posted: Sun Sep 25 09:06:28 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Do you agree?
I think two person can never love each other equally. Its either you love someone more, or someone loves you more, but never equal. Maybe that's why love hurts so much?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Sep 25 09:17:42 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  How would one determine "an equal amount of love" ?

I think it's you either love someone or you don't, not how much.

We are all different and we express our love differently, so I don't think any kind of measurement of said love could ever be accurate.



 
CorDrine Posted: Sun Sep 25 09:25:14 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  yeah, reminds me of the saying, even though he doesn't love you as you want him to, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you in his own way.

sigh sigh sigh


 
antartica Posted: Sun Sep 25 09:28:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  if love was that straight forward or somple, then i fear for the human race


 
addi Posted: Sun Sep 25 10:22:35 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Untill someone devises an instrument that can quantify our love for someone I think it's impossible to measure. So coming to any conclusions about how much someone loves us (or who loves who more) is nothing more than a guessing game. I suspect that many of us have been wrong in believing that someone really loves us, when in truth they don't...and in believing that someone doesn't love us, when in truth they really do.

Love is a feeling, and that puts it in the realm of fuzzy emotions, which means it is not static, but it's fluid and can change and evolve over time. I think you can genuinely love someone at one time, but then "fall" out of love with them later in time, and vice versa.

I know it sounds kinda trite, but i think love is a verb, that manifests itself in actions over time. Saying "I love you" to someone is really important, but it has to be followed up with actions that demonstrate and confirm love, or else it's just three words that are easy to say, and ultimately empty and meaningless.

Lastly, I think there are "degrees" of love and different kinds of love. If I say "I love you" to someone on GT my use of the word love is probably different than when I tell my son I love him. I don't think that makes me hypocritical about using the word love. It means that there is a reasonable assumption made that most people have the ability to decifer my use of the word and understand the context in which it was said.

enough : )


 
beetlebum Posted: Sun Sep 25 10:32:41 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  While perhaps it is difficult to quantify, I think in most relationships there is a point where one is *in love* with the other more... love waxes and wanes as does life. Everyone wants the other to love him/herself as much as he/she loves them. Duh. No one wants to suffer inequality of love in a relationship, but I think that inequality is the status quo much of the time. Love means vulnerability which means power, regardless of how much people want to romanticize love.

The trick is to find someone whose love is steady even without the romance, which means that they have an underlying integrity which won't allow them to walk away.

My grandmother said once that the reason her marriage survived is that they had the integrity and strength to simply refuse to fall out of love with one another at the same time. In other words, when one was pulling away, the other pushed forward, and vice versa.

I don't know.

Sometimes I think love is bullocks, and it is all only a chemical reaction in the brain. But then I meet someone who understands me so perfectly that I can't maintain my wretched stoicism. Grin. The brain is tricky that way, I guess.


 
addi Posted: Sun Sep 25 10:40:08 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:

>The trick is to find someone whose love is steady even without the romance, which means that they have an underlying integrity which won't allow them to walk away.

Amen! Preach it sistah!
: )


>Sometimes I think love is bullocks, and it is all only a chemical reaction in the brain. But then I meet someone who understands me so perfectly that I can't maintain my wretched stoicism.

Across the gateway of my heart I wrote: "No thoroughfare." But love came laughing by, and cried: "I enter everywhere."
Herbert Shipman


 
Kira Posted: Sun Sep 25 11:42:24 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think you are right.


 
Posted: Sun Sep 25 12:33:31 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I love you guys.


 
addi Posted: Sun Sep 25 12:52:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>I love you guys.

lol!

But do you love us all equally? Hmm? I bet you love some of the plinkers here more than some of us plonkers. That really sickens me!


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Sep 25 12:59:17 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>CriminalSaint said:
>>I love you guys.
>
>lol!
>
>But do you love us all equally? Hmm? I bet you love some of the plinkers here more than some of us plonkers. That really sickens me!
>
He loves me more than he loves you dammit !


 
addi Posted: Sun Sep 25 13:10:03 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>He loves me more than he loves you dammit !

Well, D'uh! Everyone loves you more than me....except Jesus. I ran into him at Dante's Bar and Grill last week and he told me he loves me more than you.

*to be honest I was so drunk I don't know if it was Jesus, the son of God, or JesusOnLine from GT.




 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Sep 25 13:37:09 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>>He loves me more than he loves you dammit !
>
>Well, D'uh! Everyone loves you more than me....except Jesus. I ran into him at Dante's Bar and Grill last week and he told me he loves me more than you.
>
>*to be honest I was so drunk I don't know if it was Jesus, the son of God, or JesusOnLine from GT.
>
Prolly a major league baseball player.


 
novemberrain Posted: Sun Sep 25 20:19:21 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My mom used to tell me when people were giving me a hard time, to tell them "Jesus loves you..."

And to add on: "...but I think you are an asshole."

or my personal favorite: "...but I think you are garbage wrapped in skin."


 
antartica Posted: Mon Sep 26 05:22:59 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ok ok ok.... it's time for....

GROUP HUG!!!!!!!!


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Sep 26 05:47:57 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love


Take it away!!!


 
JesusOnline Posted: Mon Sep 26 06:21:21 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>>He loves me more than he loves you dammit !
>
>Well, D'uh! Everyone loves you more than me....except Jesus. I ran into him at Dante's Bar and Grill last week and he told me he loves me more than you.
>
>*to be honest I was so drunk I don't know if it was Jesus, the son of God, or JesusOnLine from GT.
>
>
It was I.
You made a fool of yourself with your drunken behaviour too.


 
addi Posted: Mon Sep 26 06:54:57 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  JesusOnline said:

>It was I.
>You made a fool of yourself with your drunken behaviour too.

I am SO ashamed. I hope I didn't make advances towards you, or if I did that at least my breath was fresh and minty.


 
Jackale2s Posted: Mon Sep 26 10:06:35 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It was fresh like sourdough bread.


 
Posted: Mon Sep 26 15:57:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>addi said:
>>CriminalSaint said:
>>>I love you guys.
>>
>>lol!
>>
>>But do you love us all equally? Hmm? I bet you love some of the plinkers here more than some of us plonkers. That really sickens me!
>>
>He loves me more than he loves you dammit !

it's purely sexual, the both of you.


 
addi Posted: Mon Sep 26 17:36:22 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:

>it's purely sexual, the both of you.

Phew! I feel better


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Sep 26 17:58:11 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>CriminalSaint said:
>
>>it's purely sexual, the both of you.
>
>Phew! I feel better
>
I feel better than you dammit !


 
JesusOnline Posted: Tue Sep 27 04:16:46 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>JesusOnline said:
>
>>It was I.
>>You made a fool of yourself with your drunken behaviour too.
>
>I am SO ashamed. I hope I didn't make advances towards you, or if I did that at least my breath was fresh and minty.

Fresh and Minty: Check


 
Christian Posted: Tue Sep 27 13:50:26 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I love you all, equally.


 
Ed Posted: Fri Sep 30 19:06:19 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>How would one determine "an equal amount of love" ?

I think that it's a matter of how much you would sacrifice for that person and which depends on how much it is valued. I miss being the one who was needed...

>I think it's you either love someone or you don't, not how much.

It works in the same way as respect; You can respect someone, then you can show them respect, but they aren't at all the same thing.

>We are all different and we express our love differently, so I don't think any kind of measurement of said love could ever be accurate.

Yay for behaviorism. I agree, but it's more than just expressing love in one way or another, according the person; Each person's ideal for love is different; I say that the rest stems from that.


 
Ed Posted: Fri Sep 30 19:17:36 2005 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ed said:
>I think that it's a matter of how much you would sacrifice for that person and which depends on how much it is valued.

That should have been something more like:
I think that it's a matter of how much you would sacrifice for that person and that depends on how much the relationship is valued.


 



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