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Does it bother you?
JAZER Posted: Thu Jan 19 21:51:48 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  In response to the new poll...
Does it bother you if the people your around are doing better than you? I was the only one to check yes so far. It matters to me. I strive to be the best. Might sound conceited but oh well.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Jan 19 22:06:25 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Only thing that matters to me is if what I'm doing makes me happy.


And I wouldn't even know how to measure who's doing better than who. More money? Doing better financially doesn't mean doing better emotionally or spiritually.


 
choke Posted: Thu Jan 19 22:08:23 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It doesn't bother me at all. They will get stomach ulcers and I (hopefully) will not. Or not as many, anyway. And I don't pride myself on how well I'm doing but how well I'm feeling.


 
JAZER Posted: Thu Jan 19 22:16:27 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I dont really have a measuring method as far as finance, spiritual, and whatsoever. I guess its just the part about feeling like you are superior. Hmmm, not sure how to explain... will get back to you all on this one


 
Ed Posted: Thu Jan 19 22:48:01 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I more curious about who the "people you're around" are. Co-workers, associates, friends?

As long as I'm in a decent mood, it's all good.


 
DanSRose Posted: Fri Jan 20 00:21:14 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Only thing that matters to me is if what I'm doing makes me happy.

That's how I measure "doing better" and why I voted yes. It means I'm missing something.


 
FN Posted: Fri Jan 20 01:33:51 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Well, like mesh, I do what makes me happy, and in order to be happy that sense of superiority has to be there.

I'm alright with my friends and all succeeding in life and whatnot, everybody deserves what they work for.

I have no real standards to work with either, but I'd say in general I base "better" on how well people understand life and the world around them.

Obviously, I feel like I know best in that department.


 
addi Posted: Fri Jan 20 07:06:44 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hardly an origonal thought, but happiness is a by-product, not something you directly pursue. Comparing yourself to others can't be avoided, but obsessively needing to feel "superior" to those around you in order to be happy is taking a road in life that will lead to unfullfillment, dissapointment and unwarranted stress. There will always be people "better" off than you, and people worse off.
It's great to set high stardards for yourself, but to base your feelings of "making" it in life on a one to one comparison with those around you is misguided I think.
This also begs the question: What criteria do you use to determine being better off. Is it comprised of owning a bigger house, a better car, having more toys than your friends or neighbors? Is the man that has lots of money, but along with that lots of stress, shitty marriage, and kid problems better off than the man that is barely making ends meet each month with bills, but is content with his family, self, wife and lot in life? Yeah, it would be wonderful to have both, but if I had to chose between one of the two situations I wouldn't hesitate to chose the latter example.
It's a lifelong struggle to learn to be content with who you are...opening the competition up to all those around you only makes that goal much more difficult to reach IMO.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Jan 20 09:27:37 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Once upon a time, my only motivation was to do better than my ex-wife and the clown she married.
Since then, I've grown up and I only give a shit about myself and my family,
and if someone else is better off than me, then so be it, cuz I like who I've become and my family loves me. Can't get too much better off than that.


 
FN Posted: Fri Jan 20 10:28:55 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>This also begs the question: What criteria do you use to determine being better off. Is it comprised of owning a bigger house, a better car, having more toys than your friends or neighbors? Is the man that has lots of money, but along with that lots of stress, shitty marriage, and kid problems better off than the man that is barely making ends meet each month with bills, but is content with his family, self, wife and lot in life?

The thing is though, I love competition, and like I said, the beauty of my kind of superiority is that it is not very likely that I'll ever come across somebody whose personality and ideas I like more than my own, because everybody is their own idea of perfection in terms of character and personality, are they not?

So I don't run the risk of an unfullfilled life in that department I think since I really like myself.

Also, I think the cliché isn't always true, I think every marriage ends up shitty, no offense to the married guys here, or whatever, I can't see myself functioning in those kinds of emotional chains, especially when kids would be involved.

So I don't think that every rich guy is automaticly worse off than the moderate/poor guy. I know some pretty happy pretty rich people lol.


 
FN Posted: Fri Jan 20 10:29:35 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think a lot, it seems.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Jan 20 10:44:52 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  This thread reminds me of this old song, I think by Simon & Garfunkel.

Richard Corey

"Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him:

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favoured, and imperially slim.




And he was always quietly arrayed,

And he was always human when he talked;

But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

'Good morning,' and he glittered when he walked.




And he was rich--yes, richer than a king--

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.




So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head."



 
choke Posted: Fri Jan 20 14:03:29 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  If I did better than everyone around me in any aspect of life, I would be so busy feeling guilty for it and trying to hide it so as not to seem like I'm rubbing it in that wouldn't be any fun at all.


 
jennemmer Posted: Fri Jan 20 18:49:13 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I tend to compare myself to others all of the time. Mostly it has to do with how much I feel I'm achieving or contributing and I don't like feeling like I'm lacking.

My problem though is that I tend to compare what I see of other people to what I see of myself and the two scales are very different. I'm nowhere near as musically talented as my sister, I can't possibly keep up mentally with some of the students in my classes, I'm not in as good of shape as the other students at my level in karate... etc. But I forget to factor in sometimes that I am comparing my average self to the best of other people.

The result, lots of stress and overachieving while feeling like an underachiever. :p

I'm slowly learning to get over it.


 
misszero Posted: Sat Jan 21 21:40:16 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>stuff about stuff and things....

the wealthiest person is a pauper at times, compared to the man with a satisfied mind, eh addi?


 
addi Posted: Sat Jan 21 22:49:39 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Awwww, the wisdom of misszero...come back to add an exclamation point to my ramblings.
: )

*some day I'd like a satisfied mind


 
DanSRose Posted: Sun Jan 22 00:16:28 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>*some day I'd like a satisfied mind

Satisfied minds are for chumps. Your mind should always be questioning and looking and poking at what it already knows.


 



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