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addi Posted: Thu Feb 2 08:01:41 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Some of you know that a 19 year old friend of mine (close friend to my son) died last week. I was dealing with it as best I could and moving on. Last night I was really jolted when I was watching the local news here. The autopsy reports came out and I was expecting to hear the official cause of death was alcohol poisoning. It turned out that he had died from a combination of heroin, cocaine and whiskey..all mixed together the same evening.
So far seven students at the college he attended have been arrested on charges ranging from pot use and carrying a false ID, to providing heroin.
I am NOT a naive adult. I understand there's a lot of things going on these days that didn't when I was in college. However I have to admit I was really surprised to discover that this person had easy access to such hard drugs, and that he would be stupid enough to put them in his body. From talks with others last night I was also informed that heroin use was a problem at the high school my son attended. Pot use..yes. Drinking...yes. But once more I was shocked to hear that. I was told that one boy that was a friend of my sons (and had even joined me on a vacation to Switzerland years ago) had needed to go through a treatment program for heroin use last year.
My jaw dropped in disbelief.

You people that know me here know i am not a tea-totaler. But I am caught off guard with this news. I guess I always thought kids doing that kind of serious stuff were always "somewhere else", and not readily available in my back yard, with close ties to my circle of friends.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping for in response really. Bleh
I guess I'm guilty of assuming people I have close personal ties with have their heads screwed on right and would know that it's amazingly dumb to get into the heavy stuff like that.
Perhaps I am naive after all.


 
FN Posted: Thu Feb 2 08:42:38 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think you are.

Most parents are, and have no clue as what their kids are encountering.

Especially the daughters.

I've seen 20 year old guys hitting on 13 year olds.

I'm telling you, if I ever have a daughter she's staying inside untill she's 25.


And if you have a lot of friends, chances are some of them are into the not so good things in life, and people know people so you always can get anything you could imagine basicly when it comes to drugs.

It's a problem and should be dealt with in the most severe ways when it causes problems.

Tht's why I'm for full legalization and more control and serious penalties on public abuse of drugs. Including alcohol


 
addi Posted: Thu Feb 2 09:02:55 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>I think you are.

I can't argue with you on the heroin and cocaine use. That surprised me.. but your response didn't : )

But 20 something year old guys hitting on 13 year old girls has zip to do with any point about my naivity, or lack of. I'm referring to heavy drug use, not pedophiles.


 
FN Posted: Thu Feb 2 09:18:47 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Drug use as well.

I place alcoholism up there with all the other drugs.

I think a lot of parents would be *very* surprised if they'd know what kind of pigs their kids are when they go out.

It happens with all types of people, marginal folk, "good guys" who get lost in it for some reason, and the general rule seems to be that the ones most affected are those who are either raised with the tightest grip and those who aren't looked after at all.


Where I live, hard drugs aren't common at all (as in heroin for example), but they're available.

Most people (used to) smoke pot though, and drinking is rampant, untill they get a car which is when most stop drinking because the police doesn't take it too well if you're drunk behind the wheel.


 
SntSaturn Posted: Thu Feb 2 12:24:52 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I believe I'm in the same boat as you Addi.

I am, what i consider to be, a responsible college student. I don't do my homework; I call my parents; I stay away from drugs (even cigarettes), but I will go drinking on an occasional weekend. I don't go to parties at places I don't know, but people I don't know do come to "parties" that my friends host. I considered this safe.

Just last week, I went drinking at my usual place which is a house of 3 guys (and i'm good friends of all of them). Other people showed up as they always did. At the end of the night (3 am) one of the guys who lived in the house was considerably sick. A friend took him to the hospital; he nearly ODed on LSD (acid). He doesn't and has never touched acid. Apparently, some guys from a different dorm slipped some in two beers that they had given to two females who later pawned the beer off to two of my guy friends.

I can't get over that incident. It's really very scary to think it's close to me. What if it had been my beer?


 
libra Posted: Thu Feb 2 12:27:14 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Parents are naive. Not in the fact that they don't think that teens don't do drugs or drink, but usually they can never, without significant evidence, be convinced of the "wrongdoings" of their own child and his/her friends. My brother (who is 16) has been drinking for the past year at least (he tells my boyfriend about his adventures), and my parents will not believe it even if I hint to them that he's been doing things they don't know about.

I find myself growing naive about people younger than me...and I have to force myself to remember what I felt like.

I'm really sorry to hear about your son's friend, It is always so hard on a community when a teenager dies. Especially from things like drugs and alcohol, because there's a certain amount of guilt afterwards from friends and parents.


 
SntSaturn Posted: Thu Feb 2 12:29:00 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  SntSaturn said:

>
>I am, what i consider to be, a responsible college student. I don't do my homework;

I definitely meant to say I do do my homework. I wish I didn't, but it just nags at me.


 
addi Posted: Thu Feb 2 13:16:17 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>Parents are naive. Not in the fact that they don't think that teens don't do drugs or drink, but usually they can never, without significant evidence, be convinced of the "wrongdoings" of their own child and his/her friends.

You're probably right that we always want to see the best on our own children, and that can sometimes blind us to reality. It's funny that I can think of many times that a parent has talked to me about their angelic child and what a bad influence so and so is...and on the inside I'm thinking, "get a clue woman!".

I have no doubt that there are many things my son hides from me...just like I hid many things from my parents. I know now they knew more about my extracurricular activities than I thought they did...just like I know more about my son's activities than he thinks i do.

I know he's had sex. I know he drinks. I know he has used pot.
The thing that really caught me off guard with this was the cocaine and heroin this kid died from. I can't jump to unfounded conclusions and say that because this kid did it that automatically my son is implicated. However I know it would be naive to assume that he hasn't had the opportunity to, or partied with people using it.
That has been a cold hard slap to the face.

Are those kind of drugs readily available and used by people you guys hang with, or sometimes associate with at parties?




 
Mesh Posted: Thu Feb 2 13:21:35 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>
>I find myself growing naive about people younger than me...and I have to force myself to remember what I felt like.
>



That is so very true. I'm not even quite to the quarter century mark yet and I already get naive about what kids in their early and late teens do. Then I think back "Well what was I doing at 13? At 15? At 18? At 20?" And I'm like, oh yeah, I guess they do a lot more then I'd like to think they do.






 
FN Posted: Thu Feb 2 14:44:06 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Are those kind of drugs readily available and used by people you guys hang with, or sometimes associate with at parties?

Available yes.

Pot was very popular when I was 16 or something, now it appears to have calmed down but signs of a comeback are appearing.

Keep in mind though that if your son is *very* good friends with a guy who OD'd, it meant he probably condoned it.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 2 15:24:23 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Pretty much all drugs are readily available around here, though not all are popular.
Herion is still somewhat of a taboo but not like it used to be.
Cocaine is as easy to get as pot and just as popular. It's become cheap now and most of the kids that are into the drug scene do coke.
Extacy is another very popular drug taking the place of LSD now. Again, very easy to acquire.
A really alarming trend is the popularity and ease of acquisition of pharmaceutical drugs. How are all these fucking pills finding their way to the street ?
Before I straightened myself out, it was just as easy to get a thousand vicodins as a bag of weed !
And don't get me started on oxycontin !


 
addi Posted: Thu Feb 2 15:41:36 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:

>Keep in mind though that if your son is *very* good friends with a guy who OD'd, it meant he probably condoned it.

No, he didn't condone it. They were good friends, but went to different colleges in different states, and had different sets of friends they hung around now. They talked on the phone occasionally and the "group" got together when they were all in town, but their lifestyles were very different. My son thought it was really stupid for him to do that.

I do think he knew the guy was doing more than pot and alcohol, but that's very different from "condoning" it.


 
Posted: Thu Feb 2 16:42:42 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Heroin and cocaine use are common enough here, but it seems to be mostly just pot use.

With the proximity to Detroit and the influx of shady dealers converging around the superbowl, it's been particularly shitty with the cocaine and crack lately.

So sorry to hear about your sitution, Addi :(


 
novemberrain Posted: Thu Feb 2 18:02:05 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Are those kind of drugs readily available and used by people you guys hang with, or sometimes associate with at parties?


Hang with, no. But people I work with are into a variety of things. And I was told by one of them that he could get me practically anything I wanted, if I wanted.

Wasn't interested though. Just observing some of the people is more than enough warning for me.


 
addi Posted: Thu Feb 2 18:33:55 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:

>So sorry to hear about your sitution, Addi :(

I'm fine. Thanks. I don't mean to be melodramatic about this. Every one of us have (or will) go through the loss of a friend or loved one. I posted this mostly for mental therapy I guess. It just took me back that heroin was available and in use by college students here.
I find myself getting angry at his roomate and friends who were with him and didn't stop him.
I also get angry at him for not using any common sense and mixing all three drugs together in his body at the same time. He leaves two younger brothers and grief stricken parents to now deal with the aftermath for the rest of their lives. What a waste.

I guess, even at my age, life can still throw you a curve when you're expecting a straight ball.

novemberrain said:
>Just observing some of the people is more than enough warning for me.

Good head on your shoulders, nov.
: )


 
novemberrain Posted: Thu Feb 2 20:54:50 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>novemberrain said:
>>Just observing some of the people is more than enough warning for me.
>
>Good head on your shoulders, nov.
>: )

I try, General.

But it's not too hard when I hear about someone pleading with their dealer on a Friday when their paycheck hasn't arrived yet.

That, and a family once told me he did cocaine while in college, and they lost time...having no idea what transpired. That's more than a bit scary, to me anyway.

I'm not saying I'm an angel, but I have never done, nor am even the least bit curious about, anything as hardcore as heroin or cocaine.


 
Howitzer Posted: Thu Feb 2 21:20:35 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I know exactly what you are feeling Addi, cause my parents went through it when they picked me up from jail my senior year in high school and a year later one of my good wrestling buddies died of an X overdose.

When I was in jail (for grand larceny), they asked if i was doing it to sell for drug money, which wasn't what was happening, but it brought up many feelings in my parents of what was going on with 'kids'..(me)..these days. I have tried everything out there, and to be honest i am glad i tried it all in high school. I was friends with the dealers in high school and I have done acid, X, heroin, cocaine, pot, mushrooms, and PCP.

But, I think i am a special case cause I have only done those things once each. The day after I did herion I do not remember the ENTIRE day before it, still, 4 years later. I never will. This has allowed me to keep my college friends from making the same mistakes that i did, when it can really matter because they are now adults.

I know I am rambleing on, but I did a lot of dumb things in high school that I am glad I figured out they were dumb then, so I diddn't OD on X and die or fight cops when on cocaine (like another buddy of mine) and get kicked out of college. Pot is another story i am not going to get into now, but i did all those drugs my junior and senior years in high school, 3-4 years ago now. And if there is antthing I know about high school students (my sister is still one, and we are close), it is they are getting more and more exposure to drugs at younger and younger ages. I am with Chris on this, my kids are staying inside till they go to college(not really, but you know what i mean)


 
Aeon Posted: Fri Feb 3 13:21:28 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sad news. Simple facts. Everybody poops. Everybody dies. I don't claim to be a fatalist but I do claim to be a realist. You can look at any number of musicians in the past 50 years and see that cocaine, heroin, and alcohol don't mix.


 
choke Posted: Fri Feb 3 17:31:58 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I could ask anyone at my current school for any kindof drug and if they didnt have it they could get it for me before the end of the day. Not so much in my old school because it's a small town but I could get it after school at the skate park no sweat. It's as simple as asking.

I feel like we should be educated about the effects of mixing drugs as well as just the standard "dont do drugs" routine. Like I had no idea of the effects of mixing drugs or how much of a dose is too much etc.


 
libra Posted: Fri Feb 3 18:07:44 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:

>
>I feel like we should be educated about the effects of mixing drugs as well as just the standard "dont do drugs" routine. Like I had no idea of the effects of mixing drugs or how much of a dose is too much etc.

I agree...not that I've had any experience with drugs, but it seems like the best way to handle the situation is to not do what schools do in the united states do about sex ed (not talk about ways to make it safe, but instead just say "don't do it").
People, in the end, will come to their own conclusions about how they feel about drugs. But in order to make sure that people are (somewhat) safer about them if they do decide to try them would be to educate about the actual drugs. I have a friend who got alcohol poisoning because she didn't realize the alcohol content of what she was drinking and drank way more than she should have.
A lack of knowledge leads to more deaths and problems than having people know how much of something will kill them, what combinations will kill them, etc. In looking in depth at results and reprocussions, maybe people will have a greater understanding of how bad these things are for them.


 
misszero Posted: Fri Feb 3 21:03:03 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  my town is mostly a 'weed and speed' town. at one point, it was the biggest speed producing town in aust. or the southern hemisphere, or something like that (i think someone told me its talked about in Dopelands, by john birmingham, if anyone wants to check that out.) Its not at all hard to get pot (home delivered no less.) and my friends can get crystal meth on a whim. i met a guy in a bar not long ago who could connect me to pretty much anything, if i wanted. I don't know, i'm pretty open to experimentation, but i'd never do meth again, or any nasty chemicals, it was really pretty stupid to try it in the first place. that stuff is nasty, i don't really know why i did it, i mean, i've seen what happened to a friend who was uysing meth hardcore and stuff. this is a stupid ramble that's making me sad. I'm sorry about your friend, addi.


 
jennemmer Posted: Sat Feb 4 02:08:36 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Apparantly my high school had a bad drug problem that I had no idea about until after I graduated. Apparently it was mostly an economic arrangement, the poor kids dealt and the rich kids bought.

As for now, drinking is about it for most of my friends. I do have two who will do stupid things like try Viagra just to see what it's like and I've found them once with about 6 redi-whip cans between them (something about the gas in the cans). One of them I know does pot regularly and I've heard rumors of Cocaine but he keeps that part of his life away from most of us.

Long story short, if I wanted something I could probably get it, but it's also something I wouldn't likely get exposed to unless I expressed interest.

(Late reply to the tread but I didn't figure this would be a smart thing to post on a monitored government computer...)


 
addi Posted: Sat Feb 4 08:34:59 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  jennemmer said:

>(Late reply to the tread but I didn't figure this would be a smart thing to post on a monitored government computer...)

Smart woman, Jenn.
I always think this stuff is only going to be read by friends here. I may also be naive about that too. In light of what's happening with this administration, and the title of this site, I wouldn't be surprised if we've had some "outsiders" snooping the forum.

In that light I say...

My first drink was after my 21st birthday. On occasion I drink one glass of wine with my meals, and when someone has offered me a hit I always say, "No thank you. Why do you think they call it dope!"

Oh yeah....and "God Bless America!".


 
choke Posted: Sat Feb 4 19:20:26 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:

>
>My first drink was after my 21st birthday. On occasion I drink one glass of wine with my meals, and when someone has offered me a hit I always say, "No thank you. Why do you think they call it dope!"
>
Yeah. Me too.


 
Mesh Posted: Sat Feb 4 20:21:31 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  God bless planet Mars. There isn't one person on Mars that I dislike.


 
addi Posted: Sat Feb 4 21:20:06 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>addi said:
>
>>
>>My first drink was after my 21st birthday.

>Yeah. Me too.

My...you've aged a few years these past few weeks.

: )


 
Mesh Posted: Sat Feb 4 21:21:46 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hehe, that she has.


Sorry I've missed so many Birthdays Tiff.


 
addi Posted: Sat Feb 4 21:43:09 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:

>Sorry I've missed so many Birthdays Tiff.

speaking of birthdays, mesh, I don't think we have much to celebrate for our february list here. iamjustdancing hasn't posted here for ages..i think the last time he was having a crisis in Tulsa wondering if he should shag this girl or not. He didn't bother to report back, which is very rude. And I don't know any of the other names this month. Maybe some regulars aren't fessing up this month.


 
choke Posted: Sat Feb 4 21:52:37 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Hehe, that she has.
>
>
>Sorry I've missed so many Birthdays Tiff.

That's okay guys. I forgive you.


 
kurohyou Posted: Sat Feb 4 22:26:25 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Some of you know that a 19 year old friend of mine (close friend to my son) died last week. I was dealing with it as best I could and moving on. Last night I was really jolted when I was watching the local news here. The autopsy reports came out and I was expecting to hear the official cause of death was alcohol poisoning. It turned out that he had died from a combination of heroin, cocaine and whiskey..all mixed together the same evening.
>So far seven students at the college he attended have been arrested on charges ranging from pot use and carrying a false ID, to providing heroin.
>I am NOT a naive adult. I understand there's a lot of things going on these days that didn't when I was in college. However I have to admit I was really surprised to discover that this person had easy access to such hard drugs, and that he would be stupid enough to put them in his body. From talks with others last night I was also informed that heroin use was a problem at the high school my son attended. Pot use..yes. Drinking...yes. But once more I was shocked to hear that. I was told that one boy that was a friend of my sons (and had even joined me on a vacation to Switzerland years ago) had needed to go through a treatment program for heroin use last year.
>My jaw dropped in disbelief.
>
>You people that know me here know i am not a tea-totaler. But I am caught off guard with this news. I guess I always thought kids doing that kind of serious stuff were always "somewhere else", and not readily available in my back yard, with close ties to my circle of friends.
>
>I'm not sure what I'm hoping for in response really. Bleh
>I guess I'm guilty of assuming people I have close personal ties with have their heads screwed on right and would know that it's amazingly dumb to get into the heavy stuff like that.
>Perhaps I am naive after all.

Addi,

First, my thoughts will be w/ you, your son and the family of your son's friend. No matter how it happens, losing a child and a close friend is difficult.

As for the aspect of being naive. I think to an extent we are all naive.

From a parenting perspective I think we hope that we give our kids the tools that they need to make the best decisions possibile. Anytime a child does something which doesn't make sense, the parents question what they did. Did they do enough? What could they have done differently? These questions will proabably haunt the parents for a very long time, because in the end, they may very well be questions which no one has answers to. Answers like that come slowly, if at all.

I think about Tony Dungy, and a motivational speaker who came to my High school one day. Both men had kids who committed suicide. The man who came to my school had both his sons commit suicide. I cannot fathom what a parent must think when something like that happens.

I think in terms of the general human population, we are also naive. I think that we hope that people make good decisions. That logic, reason, and intelligence permates the thought process of the fellow memembers of our species. Anytime something like this happens I think that we are taken aback.

I'm in the same boat w/ you addi. I am niave when it comes to these kind of things. Attribute it to my "soft" upbringing, or what have you. Attribute it to my lack of "street smarts." Attribute it to whatever, but this much I know. I don't think its all bad to be naive.

To be naive is a connection of sorts to that innocence we held as children. While that kind of thinking is frowned upon by many. I don't think its not all bad to be naive.

For what it's worth...


 
addi Posted: Sun Feb 5 07:59:41 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  kurohyou said:

>First, my thoughts will be w/ you, your son and the family of your son's friend. No matter how it happens, losing a child and a close friend is difficult.

thanks, kuro. As always, a thoughtful well reasoned post from you (i'm glad you're still with us).

To be honest, I'm trying to keep my thoughts away from this whole episode now. If I really start thinking about it I get depressed again, so I force myself to dwell on other matters in life now. Focusing too much on a death after a while just makes you miserable, morbid, and takes away from your quality of life.
I can't do a thing about it now. I can't say anything to his parents to make them feel okay, or to his many friends. I just hope that positive things come from this senseless death...that down the road when others are in a position to put deadly things in their body (and those occasions will happen) that the memory of this event rushes to their brain and they use better judgement than he did.


 
Mouse Posted: Sun Feb 5 20:25:12 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've always been kind of oblivious to drug use around me, I've probably been around people while they were on something and had no idea. I didn't really think about about drugs in my town til I moved to this tiny little pinpoint of a town, the place doesn't even have it's own dot on the local map. I didn't know there was a town back off of the highway til I had been in it. Anyways, the teenagers had their little psudo gang, painting things and vandalizing things noone cared about, but their were often cars parking and then speeding off in vacant lots near the house and a few more police cruising the area then one might expect. Lots of pot was found in the woods every now and again, and the cops lost some huge amount of it that they were going to destroy by burning it. I have no idea if other heavier stuff was popular as well. The only drug I have ever tried is alcohol, and I've never had a full serving of that. I have no interest in anything heavier than that, in fact I don't even like alcohol, though sometimes I think I might try something just to know what that feels like.


 
choke Posted: Sun Feb 5 20:41:14 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mouse said:
The only drug I have ever tried is alcohol, and I've never had a full serving of that. I have no interest in anything heavier than that, in fact I don't even like alcohol, though sometimes I think I might try something just to know what that feels like.

I have made a friend here who has never gotten drunk and I'm fascinated by her. She's like an entirely new species to me.


 
Mouse Posted: Mon Feb 6 09:45:51 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>I have made a friend here who has never gotten drunk and I'm fascinated by her. She's like an entirely new species to me.

lol, are we really that rare?


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Feb 7 15:44:02 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  You two must be the only ones left on Earth.

What I wouldn't do to get ahold of you. Can you imagine how much a museum would pay for such a rarity? I imagine the pay would be quite handsome, indeed.


 
Ed Posted: Tue Feb 7 19:24:34 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've never been drunk. You could sell each of us to a different place and tell them that each of us is the last one. You might get more, that way.


 
choke Posted: Tue Feb 7 20:05:56 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I want to examine your brains.


 
Ed Posted: Tue Feb 7 20:20:51 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Have at it! *pulls off a hat, exposing his brain*


 
choke Posted: Tue Feb 7 20:25:45 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ed said:
>Have at it! *pulls off a hat, exposing his brain*

*gets out forceps and scalpel and puts on huge science goggles as a safety precaution so brain matter doesn't get in eyes*


 
Ed Posted: Tue Feb 7 21:33:26 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  that smells SO good!


 



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