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Advice, in general.
choke Posted: Thu Mar 9 18:50:10 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I have noticed noone asks for advice anymore. But that's my favourite thing to post on. So think of stuff. I will begin. Someone told me that you have to have surgery for ingrown toenails? Is it true?


 
addi Posted: Thu Mar 9 19:36:41 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>I have noticed noone asks for advice anymore. But that's my favourite thing to post on. So think of stuff. I will begin. Someone told me that you have to have surgery for ingrown toenails? Is it true?

lol!

no. these days the doctors just chop them off to save money.

Okay choke..I need some advice.

I've improved a lot in tennis, but starting the game so late in life, and placing high expectations on myself, I find that I lose my temper a lot during matches. I'm not mad at others, just myself...so when I hit an easy overhead slam into the net stuff like, "GODAMMIT!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT" comes flying out my mouth before I know it at a very high volume. I don't think the other players enjoy these verbal tantrams. Any suggestions on how I can keep my potty mouth in check and play the gentleman's game in a proper way?

Sincerely,
Concerned Sailor Mouth Addi


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Mar 9 19:48:24 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>
>
>Sincerely,
>Concerned Sailor Mouth Addi


I know I'm not choke....but.....wear a mouth guard. It's hard to talk with those in. Let alone yell.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Mar 9 19:51:01 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Advice wanted:(I hit post to soon)


My [former >:(] pal at TWO packets of my delicious hickory smoked tuna. I was planning on eating these, and indeed I need the protein from them more than his skinny ass does.

Now, what I need to know is, should I paint my toenails or not?


 
choke Posted: Thu Mar 9 20:11:53 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dear Concerned Sailor Mouth Addi.

Let the insults fly. One, you are providing entertainment for people like myself. Two, you are relieving stress. And three, at least you don't do the manly grunt every time you serve/hit the ball/run.

P.S Don't be so hard on yourself. Tennis is a very grueling sport. I'm 17 and I'm already too old to play.


 
choke Posted: Thu Mar 9 20:17:52 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dear Mesh.

Tuna is the food of the devil. You may think it is good to eat, and it very well may be, but like sin, it smells bad and will send you straight to hell. No one wants tuna breath in heaven. Be grateful you have been spared this fate by your caring friend who has sacrificed his eternal soul for yours. Eat an egg for protein. And brush your teeth afterward (not before) as it risks bad smell also.

Paint your toenails. Paint your friends too. He was only trying to help.


 
choke Posted: Thu Mar 9 20:19:18 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  And guys I didn't mean it was just going to be me giving advice :P I meant this to be an open thread for giving and receiving advice for/from all... And I was serious about the ingrown toenail thing.



 
sweet p Posted: Thu Mar 9 20:52:27 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
> you have to have surgery for ingrown toenails? Is it true?

Depends how bad it is.
Some will grow out and leave you alone. Others get pretty nasty [especially if you pick at them]..they cut away at your skin and an infection builds and then you're in trouble. I've never had one but I know a few people who have and it got so bad they couldn't wear a shoe. Even a light tap to the toe would hurt. Then they surgerized the thing and had to go on pain killers.

I dislike most toes and their nails. But ingrown ones are particularly sick.

This one is okay though:
http://www.gpnotebook.co.uk/igtoe.jpg


 
Kira Posted: Thu Mar 9 20:56:57 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  How can a financial ignoramous learn how and where to invest wisely?

How do you get Dutch Irises to bloom?

And more plant-related advice: HOW do you grow red cedar seedlings (transplanted) in a pot without having them go all brown and eventually dying after a year of wasted effort?!

Should I do all the adventurous things I want to do now, instead of waiting until I'm better off financially - at the risk of getting marooned in New Mexico with no place to live?


 
addi Posted: Thu Mar 9 21:06:20 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>And guys I didn't mean it was just going to be me giving advice

I like your advice, choke. From now on I'm going to only listen to you


unless you give me bad advice, Then I'd most likely scream out, "GODAMMIT! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!"



: )


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Mar 9 21:07:59 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Haha, choke is giving out some good and yet delightfuly humourus advice.


Kira. YES!!!


 
addi Posted: Thu Mar 9 21:12:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:

>I know I'm not choke....but.....wear a mouth guard. It's hard to talk with those in. Let alone yell.

Tis true, meshie. I was forced to wear one when i played football and it was a bitch calling out signals to my team mates with that honking thing in my mouth.
But it's not an option for me in tennis. Vanity would keep me from wearing one cuz when I have one in it makes my upper lip protrude and the other guys would start calling me monkey lips.


 
Kira Posted: Thu Mar 9 21:47:50 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>
>Kira. YES!!!


But... but... but... penniless and alone in New Mexico! :(


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Mar 9 22:33:16 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Kira said:
>
>But... but... but... penniless and alone in New Mexico! :(


It's part of the fun! Not knowing the asnwer to the question "Will I be alive two days from now?" makes life so much more interesting.


 
Posted: Thu Mar 9 22:36:47 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Where do I take my life after my philosophy degree?

Do I go to law school, where I'll make a decent living but hate what I do and almost certainly become an alcoholic?

Do I go try for my Masters Degree in Design in Toronto, doing something I love to do (interactive and web design), although the market in most metro areas is extremely saturated and my income levels are somewhat decreased?

or,

Do I try to rejuvinate the porn career?


 
choke Posted: Thu Mar 9 23:09:30 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Sweet P said:
>choke said:
>> you have to have surgery for ingrown toenails? Is it true?
>
>Depends how bad it is.
>Some will grow out and leave you alone. Others get pretty nasty [especially if you pick at them]..they cut away at your skin and an infection builds and then you're in trouble. I've never had one but I know a few people who have and it got so bad they couldn't wear a shoe. Even a light tap to the toe would hurt. Then they surgerized the thing and had to go on pain killers.
>
>I dislike most toes and their nails. But ingrown ones are particularly sick.
>
>This one is okay though:
>http://www.gpnotebook.co.uk/igtoe.jpg

I hate toes too. I wish I had an ingrown fingernail instead. I feel so grotty having an ingrown toenail. I'm at the can't wear shoes/huge infection/screaming toe phase, was kindof hoping it would sort itself out. If I just deal with it could it get bad enough to cause permanent damage?


 
choke Posted: Thu Mar 9 23:14:00 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Kira said:
>How can a financial ignoramous learn how and where to invest wisely?
>
Don't invest. Go fruit picking.

>How do you get Dutch Irises to bloom?
>
Sing to them (sweetly) in dutch. With a fiddle.

>And more plant-related advice: HOW do you grow red cedar seedlings (transplanted) in a pot without having them go all brown and eventually dying after a year of wasted effort?!
>
Some plants are just supposed to die. Or you could put them in the ground. You cruel plant-mongerer.

>Should I do all the adventurous things I want to do now, instead of waiting until I'm better off financially - at the risk of getting marooned in New Mexico with no place to live?

Yes. You could die tomorrow. Or worse, make money and then decide you want to keep it.

Now I have a question for you: What is a mongerer? And did I spell it right?


 
Kira Posted: Thu Mar 9 23:26:50 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Monger, n.

1. A dealer in a specific commodity. Often used in combination: a fishmonger.
2. A person promoting something undesirable or discreditable. Often used in combination: a scandalmonger; a warmonger.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Mar 9 23:29:53 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Kira said:
> a fishmonger.


Teehee, that means pimp in some places.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Mar 9 23:31:18 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>
>Teehee, that means pimp in some places.


Particularly in places frequented by classical thespians.


 
Kira Posted: Fri Mar 10 00:10:51 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I changed it from dictionary.com's description. I thought ironmonger was more of a mouthful and not as easily recognizable. I did not know that about 'fishmonger' though.


 
Mouse Posted: Fri Mar 10 00:50:43 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Advice, eh?
I started to write a list, but it was too long and too close to the bone.
So I'll ask for advice and answer myself.
Should I go to bed so I can get something done tomorrow? Yes, absolutely.

Good night.


 
DanSRose Posted: Fri Mar 10 00:57:10 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yeah, but it's an in and out surgery like going in for stitches.
Also, In & Out is an awesome movie.

Alright, advice question:
I keep myself removed from people, because .... um, .... yeah because of that. I am considered of ending this stupid cycle because (a) my grandfather is coming to NY for 2 weeks and if I'm not out of the house as much as possible, I'll be making my room into a fort, a crazy fort for crazy people (though I will be the only in it) (b) even if he wouldn't be coming in, it's rapidly becoming a crazy fort for crazy people anyway (c) I like people, I miss people, and the people who I called 'friend' having not been returning my emails, ims, calls, morse code messages, which has only encourged of the tin-foil hat making (and generally depressing me to no end). Bleh that made me feel sad and fat and I just came back from the gym
Anyway, probably the only good person in my life suggested that I join a book club (but they only read bios, politics, Oprah's book picks, and crap) or join a writer's workshop.
My questions, Sir Choke, is (a) Should I join a 10-week workshop at an OK place (the Gotham's Writers Workshop) for a fiction one or a 6-week one at the 92nd Street Y for short stories (which I prefer to write)? (b) How the hell the do get out and meet people and feel so goddam alone?

Thank you, Sir Choke. Thank you twice, no, three times.


 
libra Posted: Fri Mar 10 02:52:15 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh, I have a question like Phil's...

what should I do with myself?

teach high school/go into school admin

teach junior college

go try to work in a nonprofit organization or something like that?


 
Dancer Posted: Fri Mar 10 02:54:00 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>Dear Concerned Sailor Mouth Addi.
>
>Let the insults fly. One, you are providing entertainment for people like myself. Two, you are relieving stress. And three, at least you don't do the manly grunt every time you serve/hit the ball/run.
>
>P.S Don't be so hard on yourself. Tennis is a very grueling sport. I'm 17 and I'm already too old to play.

haha sailor mouth addi..
i gotta agree with CHOKE.. i have no problem with swearing and trust me here in my local dialect , swear words sound much more vulgar than YOU FUCKING IDIOT! you are being polite already, in my opinion.

anyway i swear alot too... especially when i see a looooooong queue.. it is truly a stress reliever.. so my advice is SWEAR people.. its good for health.




 
addi Posted: Fri Mar 10 07:33:38 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dancer said:

>haha sailor mouth addi..
>i gotta agree with CHOKE.. i have no problem with swearing and trust me here in my local dialect , swear words sound much more vulgar than YOU FUCKING IDIOT! you are being polite already, in my opinion.

I'll try to take your advice to heart. Next time we have a family get together dinner I'll just be myself...

"Would someone please pass me the FUCKING salt?!!"

*nice to see you, Dancer

*Libra...you've outdone yourself with that pic. It's very pretty. It has that aura of innocence that embodies your personality, yet there's just a slight hint of naughtiness with the VC (vast cleavage) showing.
: )



 
choke Posted: Fri Mar 10 14:19:13 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I didn't mean for you all to be asking me...... :P I can't give out all the advice!

Sigh. So I did the adult thing and told my host parents about my toes. They were grossed out. But at least I have antibiotics now. Apparently I had a raging infection. Apparently.

They hurt so bad. I have to have them cut out when the infection goes down.

Lol. I just realized I told people overseas, online, about my ingrown toenails, as if they care :P


 
addi Posted: Fri Mar 10 14:38:59 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:

>Lol. I just realized I told people overseas, online, about my ingrown toenails, as if they care :P

I can't speak for the others, but I'm fascinated with every part of your body


 
Mouse Posted: Fri Mar 10 14:57:31 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  So, where should I apply for a job?
I have a few places in mind but not enough and they won't want me anyways.

The local natural sciences museum, but I'll probably have to deal with kids and making interesting programs for them. Which wouldn't be too bad, but isn't something I have any experience in.
The local grooming and boarding place, where I'll have to wrangle dogs and cats, which would be fun but I'm not sure I have enough muscles on my scrawny frame to command large dogs.
And there's an animal rescue place, that I don't know the location of let alone if they're hiring, that would be awesome to work at.
Or I could look for a job on the same level of cruddiness as my current one but pays a little better. Or I could just stick with what I've got now for the moment.
My stepmom had suggested I do some personal assistant work because I was doing that for my neighbor and it was paying well, but I'm not sure about it.
Any suggestions?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Mar 10 15:01:36 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Rodeo Clown ?


 
choke Posted: Fri Mar 10 15:23:08 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>Where do I take my life after my philosophy degree?
>
>Do I go to law school, where I'll make a decent living but hate what I do and almost certainly become an alcoholic?

*Sigh* You don't have to be a lawyer to be an alcoholic, Crim. There are much easier ways :D
>
>Do I go try for my Masters Degree in Design in Toronto, doing something I love to do (interactive and web design), although the market in most metro areas is extremely saturated and my income levels are somewhat decreased?
>
Depends on how you want to live? If you want to be rich and miserable, be the lawyer. If you want to be poor and not miserable but just not desirable by rich girls be the designer. It depends what kindof babies you want to have, really. Do you want artistic babies or rich babies?

>or,
>
>Do I try to rejuvinate the porn career?

Go with the porn. Use protection. Make the porn realistic, too. I hate guys who think sex is like the movies. They usually fail miserably.


 
addi Posted: Fri Mar 10 15:41:50 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:

>Make the porn realistic, too. I hate guys who think sex is like the movies. They usually fail miserably.

Well that explains a lot. I wish I'd known this earlier. All these years having pretend sex and thinking that was the right way. I'm going to try having realistic sex tonight and see if that helps.

I'll report the results back to you because I'm sure you'd want to know.

: )



 
Ed Posted: Fri Mar 10 19:35:49 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>meshuggah said:
>>
>>Teehee, that means pimp in some places.
>
>Particularly in places frequented by classical thespians.


POLONIUS: Do you know me, my lord?
HAMLET: Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.


 
Mesh Posted: Fri Mar 10 19:40:37 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ed said:
>
>
>POLONIUS: Do you know me, my lord?
>HAMLET: Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.



Brilliant, young lad!


 
Mesh Posted: Fri Mar 10 19:45:23 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Oh and Mouse, you love animals, yeah? I'd think it'd be kind of neat to have a go at one of those jobs dealing with animals.


 
Ed Posted: Fri Mar 10 22:27:42 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  meshuggah said:
>Brilliant, young lad!
:D
my lit. class did a set of parody vignettes based on Hamlet: a dating tv-show, the Jerry Springer show, and Mortal Kombat


Hamlet: Thou art a ho!
...'Tis my mother, but now seems more of a fishmonger!

(everyone gasps)

Jerry: Did you just say the F-word?!!!


 
Ed Posted: Sat Mar 11 00:01:59 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  advice question:
do I want to cough up at least fifty dolla's to see Bob Dylan in concert?


 
DanSRose Posted: Sat Mar 11 00:52:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Locke would say yes. Then he would wait for the Hatch's buzzer to buzz and insert the Numbers. I'm sure Dylan is in that record collection.

Lost? One of the best shows ever.


 
sweet p Posted: Sat Mar 11 01:59:11 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:

>Do I go try for my Masters Degree in Design in Toronto, doing something I love to do and living right near sweet p?

Why, of course!


 
sweet p Posted: Sat Mar 11 02:03:56 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
> told my host parents about my toes.

Good call.
I would hate for yours to turn into the one like in the photo..blech!


Mouse said:
>My stepmom had suggested I do some personal assistant work

You can be my personal assistant and assist me in looking for employment :D
I can only pay you in sandwiches and cookies..and tacklehugs? eh? EH?


 
Ahriman Posted: Sat Mar 11 08:54:54 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  All of lifes problems are solved with silly putty.


 
addi Posted: Sat Mar 11 09:05:04 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ahriman said:
>All of lifes problems are solved with silly putty.

true.

And it's fun to put it on various body parts and make a mold. Then you can entertain guests at your next martini party by pulling it out and having them guess what part of your body it is.

*good to see you Ahriman


 
kurohyou Posted: Sat Mar 11 18:33:38 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:

>teach high school/go into school admin

I think being a school administrator would be fun. I still want to be a high school teacher/principal at some point before I leave this planet.

It seems like being a high school principal would put you in a position not only to be a leader but to have a positive influcence in the lives of the kids at your school. Now I may have a very niave view of being an administrator, given that I've never done it. But I think it would be a great job.

One thing I would like to do is to teach a class myself for the seniors, like a senior seminar, covering the stuff that no one tells you before you graduate. It'd be a pass fail class and would be mostly be in discussion format, probably in a circle or held in different places on campus, outside, on the roof, down at the local coffee house. I don't know I just think it would be fun.

In my capacity at the high school I work at I have a unique ability to talk to these kids as an athority figure, but not have them see me as such. They all consider me a friend. They call me by my first name and we talk about a lot of different things. The last two big conversations we had were about religion and death. When you talk to them for a while its obvious that they want to talk, they want to be heard and it doesn't seem as though anyone is listening to them. Not sure that I could maintain that relationship with them if I were an administrator but you never know.

My two cents...

For what it's worth...


 
mat_j Posted: Sun Mar 12 16:52:18 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ed said:
>advice question:
>do I want to cough up at least fifty dolla's to see Bob Dylan in concert?

I'll add to that, do i fly to Kilkenny in Ireland to pay thirty eight odd quid to see Dylan, then make love to a beautiful woman, then put on my uniform and blow my brains out?


 
Mesh Posted: Sun Mar 12 17:03:52 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>
>I'll add to that, do i fly to Kilkenny in Ireland to pay thirty eight odd quid to see Dylan, then make love to a beautiful woman, then put on my uniform and blow my brains out?


Yes, except I'd prefer if you refrained from the last activity, as it can be quite detrimental to your health. Or so claimed by those in the medical profession.


And the undertaker profession.


 
Ed Posted: Sun Mar 12 21:13:50 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>I'll add to that, do i fly to Kilkenny in Ireland to pay thirty eight odd quid to see Dylan, then make love to a beautiful woman, then put on my uniform and blow my brains out?

That would be an excellent way to end it.


 
Kira Posted: Sun Mar 12 21:20:15 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Tomorrow, should I, a) study; or b) watch Resevoir Dogs?


 
choke Posted: Mon Mar 13 16:58:06 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  You know my infected toes?

Well today the library lady ran one of them over with the book cart.




 
addi Posted: Mon Mar 13 17:10:07 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>You know my infected toes?
>
>Well today the library lady ran one of them over with the book cart.


I laughed really hard when I read this.
Then I felt guilty for laughing.

thanks a lot, choke. you and your stupid toe just made me enjoy my evening a little less.


*stay away from female madame librarian Marians whenever possible. Generally they're looking to start trouble.

: )


 
Ed Posted: Mon Mar 13 17:27:11 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>lots of stuff about ingrown toe nails

I had a bad one a few years ago. I gradually fixed it on my own by cutting just a little bit whenever it didn't hurt too much. now I always cut as low as possible with nail-clippers and use a pair of needle-nosed pliers to rip out that strip. it bleeds a little and doesn't look very good, but it's better than yellow puss, not being able to walk well, and the pain of your body stabbing itself.

>was kindof hoping it would sort itself out.
just like I was hoping that my iPod would fix itself.

>If I just [don't(?)] deal with it could it get bad enough to cause permanent damage?

Well, I heard that one of my relatives had their nipple sanded off after falling off a bike and sliding across the summer-heated street. And it grew back, but I never saw the guy's nipplelessness. This is different from the guy who taped his nipple back on after his nipple ring got caught in his car door as he was closing it.


 
choke Posted: Mon Mar 13 17:29:16 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>choke said:
>>You know my infected toes?
>>
>>Well today the library lady ran one of them over with the book cart.
>
>
>I laughed really hard when I read this.

You're going to hell. It bled all over my hands, soaked through like 20 paper towels, and stained the floor.


 
Ed Posted: Mon Mar 13 17:48:56 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>It bled all over my hands, soaked through like 20 paper towels, and stained the floor.

Holy fuck! I'd feel like shit if I did that to someone. But there's still something comical about it, I'm sorry.

Is it practical to put a tourniquet on a toe?


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Mar 13 17:56:27 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  If you want it amputated.

Choke, shoulda choked da bish.


 
choke Posted: Mon Mar 13 18:01:10 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  well it's funny now, because it's one of those things that could only happen to me.

But at the time I couldn't trust myself to speak.

But I left a healthy sized stain on the floor. (After I tried to clean it up, I'm not that barbaric)


 
addi Posted: Mon Mar 13 18:32:51 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:

>You're going to hell. It bled all over my hands, soaked through like 20 paper towels, and stained the floor.

I sorry

If I had been right there I'm sure I wouldn't have found it the least bit funny.
It's the separation from the fact that allowed me to find it humorous.

I'll try real hard not to find schaudenfreud in your mishaps : )


 
Ed Posted: Mon Mar 13 19:33:07 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't know why, but I'm proud of the blood stains I leave.
"OWEE....it didn't hurt...."


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Mar 14 07:19:47 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ever painted your face in your own blood? Like war paint. People call you crazy, but I call it art.


 
misszero Posted: Thu Mar 16 07:36:24 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Kira said:

>But... but... but... penniless and alone in New Mexico! :(

trust me, its scary but good. I was stranded somewhere once when i was 16 (about 9 hours away from home, and my parents thought i was at a friends house). It was the beed capital of australia, incidently (although, we do have 2). eventually we scammed a way home, and ended up with al the more life experience. i've heard that is what everyone is after these days, anyway.

and ed, a random dude i met in the supermarket said out of dylan and neil younf, its young who now puts on a better stage show. but hey, its DYLAN.


 



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