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poem i wrote during break last night
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Apr 9 11:50:06 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Can't get sleep these days....
Walk through life in a fuzzy daze Holding my head just high enough
shoving through it as if i were tough
Warming myself on thoughts of you
A tiny flame inside burning true
How empty this body is; too much space
Dreams of a kiss i can almost taste
Crash, crash, crashing down
Tumbling in a sea of relentless sound
Women here painted to look real
A frozen city - concrete and steel
Blank gapes, blank faces,
Blank familiar places
Hats worn low, gazes worn lower

Can almost the see their human soul
But this 60hr work week took its toll
Feeling buzzed out, worn thin
Emotion at all seems a sin
If misery loves company then
Nearly everyone here is ken
Happy drones are all they need
Sad and frustrated? you're a bad seed
Fit into a box and be reusable
Easily underpaid and abuseable
Piling up bills to pay?
They'll either cut your hours or cut your pay
Can't see how much longer i'll last
Alone, feeling like i was aside, cast
inspite of love, which i never doubt
feeling swallowed whole, then sput out
and the artificial lamp can't burn away this sense that i'm sleepless

comments anyone? *crickets* i don't share poetry for the most part coz it gets ignored.... just feeling sucktacular this week from yet another week of driving myself to an early grave....


 
Beep Posted: Sun Apr 9 11:53:52 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I like it.
especially:
>Hats worn low, gazes worn lower

and
>Can almost the see their human soul
heh, if the 'the' is intentional or not i'm not sure, but i like it all the same.

thankyou for sharing :)


 
Mesh Posted: Sun Apr 9 11:56:45 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'm not expert on poetry. But I like the way it flowed.


 
Ed Posted: Sun Apr 9 12:27:06 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *tacklehug*




*counting the days*


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Apr 9 12:27:39 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Beep said:
>I like it.
>especially:
>>Hats worn low, gazes worn lower

that's my fav too...

>>Can almost the see their human soul
>heh, if the 'the' is intentional or not i'm not sure, but i like it all the same.

it was a typo but now i kinda like it that way


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Sun Apr 9 12:29:09 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ed said:
>*tacklehug*

*tumbles down into your arms*

>*counting the days*
*sigh*.... that makes two of us


 
DanSRose Posted: Sun Apr 9 12:51:37 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hey! Get a room you kids!

Also, that was awesome. Ed, you're dang lucky.


 
Ed Posted: Sun Apr 9 13:09:19 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>Ed, you're dang lucky.

*dreamy sigh*
I know...
Thanks


 
FN Posted: Sun Apr 9 13:43:04 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>Ed, you're dang lucky.

Yes. Very.

May your children be overwhelming in quantity.


 
Mouse Posted: Mon Apr 10 00:00:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  *hugs* I like the poem, I won't mention the editing it needs cause neither of us really care.
Time will go by more quickly than you think, it will feel like forever and then all at once time will leap from the shadows.
When I get things settled down for myself I'll keep you company more, 'k dear one?
Mousie


 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Mon Apr 10 02:45:30 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>Hey! Get a room you kids!

don't need a room we have a 2bd apartment. ;p

>Also, that was awesome. Ed, you're dang lucky.

Ed said:
>DanSRose said:
>>Ed, you're dang lucky.
>
>*dreamy sigh*
>I know...
>Thanks

*blushes then hides*

Christophe said:
>May your children be overwhelming in quantity.

May you become sterile and your penis be half-flacid!

Mouse said:
>*hugs* I like the poem, I won't mention the editing it needs cause neither of us really care.

yeah i was a little tired when i wrote it....

>Time will go by more quickly than you think, it will feel like forever and then all at once time will leap from the shadows.

yeah, i hate being so impatient....

>When I get things settled down for myself I'll keep you company more, 'k dear one?

K.... Don't worry about it though. I'll be fine. You've got your own life to live Mouse. I'm not going to make silly demands on your time for my sake.


 



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