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e-reklamix
ae-reklamix Posted: Tue Apr 11 12:03:53 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  e-reklamix kuruldu


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 11 12:11:42 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  adresine aktarmak ve url adresini sayfanızdaki Media


 
choke Posted: Tue Apr 11 17:37:43 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Hooray for other languages!


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 11 17:41:02 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>Hooray for other languages!


İlgilendiğiniz için teşekkür düşünceleri ve uslubu Talat’ın Cumhurbaşkanı ve Sn. Raşit Pertev’in müsteşar olduğu yeni dönemde de öncesi iş yerinde gerekli etütleri yapmak.


 
Posted: Tue Apr 11 18:35:10 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Turkish?


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 11 18:44:18 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  CriminalSaint said:
>Turkish?

Götümü siktir lan!


 
DanSRose Posted: Tue Apr 11 20:52:25 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Fungus!

I need to get a new MP3 player. Should I get an iPod or something else? It would be a black iPod nano, though I'd want the video one.


 
Dancer Posted: Wed Apr 12 06:42:56 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i think a black nano looks better than a white nano.

but the sony walkman looks cool too..


 
ifihadahif Posted: Wed Apr 12 06:56:41 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dancer said:
>i think a black nano looks better than a white nano.
>
>but the sony walkman looks cool too..
>
8-Tracks rule !


 
Mesh Posted: Wed Apr 12 14:59:58 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>Fungus!
>
>.


Amongus


 
FN Posted: Wed Apr 12 15:03:46 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mr. Misses said:
> Amongus

Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious


 
Mesh Posted: Wed Apr 12 15:06:21 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Even though the sound of it Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious



 
beetlebum Posted: Wed Apr 12 15:38:29 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!

(i was going for the end of the song, you know when they get louder and faster!! oh. exciting.)


 
addi Posted: Wed Apr 12 15:47:38 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:
>SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!
>
>(i was going for the end of the song, you know when they get louder and faster!! oh. exciting.)

If Julie Andrews had been my nanny I would have turned out much better.

*nice to see you Beetlebum. When my work load settles down you and I are due for a LONG catch up talk!


 
DanSRose Posted: Wed Apr 12 23:21:04 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Dancer said:
>i think a black nano looks better than a white nano.
>
>but the sony walkman looks cool too..

The white iPods look cheesy.
The Sony Walkman looks great, but I bought my Rio because it looked cool and it has this 'upgrader' crap-thing in which it locks up after I skip to a different song too many times.

In short, I need something that doesn't suck and won't give me trouble.


FUNGUS
DINGUS
WINGUS
BOOKENDS
BOONDOCKS
MYNOKS
RAW-----HIDE!!!!!!


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 18 07:35:58 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I was looking for an open thread to post this, but this one seems as good as any....since i can't make heads or tails of most of the posts here. : )

The latest entry in MyGT:
Rape Me
"Writing this, sharing this, showing you my deep dark secret has many meanings to me. I hope you'll take my story in stride and think about who or why you're having sex with someone. I hope to alleviate my conscience by sharing, showing what I'm hiding... though I still am. Emotions are a touchy thing, and if all isn't right than it can get dangerous."

I have no idea who Emily Bell is, and it doesn't matter. I just found it an interesting and thought provoking read about the long term emotional affects (scars) that an event like she went through can have on a person. I think experiences like this happen a lot more than we know about.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 09:34:14 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>I have no idea who Emily Bell is, and it doesn't matter. I just found it an interesting and thought provoking read about the long term emotional affects (scars) that an event like she went through can have on a person. I think experiences like this happen a lot more than we know about.

I've read it too.

Found it interesting to read as well, at the same time: serves you right for being a slut, in the end you caused it by going skank on a guy you didn't know, deal with it.

It's a totally different thing than a rape in some dark back alley that couldn't have been prevented.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 18 09:58:36 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:

>Found it interesting to read as well, at the same time: serves you right for being a slut, in the end you caused it by going skank on a guy you didn't know, deal with it.
>
>It's a totally different thing than a rape in some dark back alley that couldn't have been prevented.

I have to respectfully disagree with you on this one, Christophe. I understand exactly what you're saying, and there is a difference between being attacked in a dark alley and walking willingly into a bedroom to a waiting guy....BUT...if she said "No", and she did several times, then it's still rape, whether it's an alley or a bedroom. The difference really is that she put herself in a position where the possibility of that happening was greater. It was poor judgement on her part...nothing more. To say "it serves her right" is out of line to me, when the full responsibility and blame lies on the physically stronger male that forced his way on her, despite her attempts to fend him off.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 10:23:15 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I never said it wasn't rape, I said she had it coming for her and she's the one who put herself in that position, I don't see where I said that that substracts anything at all from the guy's responsibility for it.

In a dark alley rape, full responsibility would be on the rapist, but here, she was being a whore, worse even, whores get paid, and paid the price for it.

So I stick by what I said.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 18 10:40:12 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>I never said it wasn't rape, I said she had it coming for her and she's the one who put herself in that position, I don't see where I said that that substracts anything at all from the guy's responsibility for it.

I guess I just cringe when I read "she had it coming to her". Perhaps you mean it different than I'm taking it.

>In a dark alley rape, full responsibility would be on the rapist, but here, she was being a whore, worse even, whores get paid, and paid the price for it.

A guy wanting and putting himself in a position to get laid is "just being a guy". A girl wanting to be touched though is automatically a "whore" in your world?
Sorry...it don't fly with me. A woman can have strong sexual desires at times without the label "slut" or "whore" placed on her by hypocritical males.




 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Apr 18 10:47:41 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>I never said it wasn't rape, I said she had it coming for her and she's the one who put herself in that position, I don't see where I said that that substracts anything at all from the guy's responsibility for it.
>
>In a dark alley rape, full responsibility would be on the rapist, but here, she was being a whore, worse even, whores get paid, and paid the price for it.
>
>So I stick by what I said.
>
Nah, even a whore doesn't deserve to be raped.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 10:53:31 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>A guy wanting and putting himself in a position to get laid is "just being a guy".

Where did I say that.

I'm not for gratituous promiscuity.

>A girl wanting to be touched though is automatically a "whore" in your world?

If she doesn't know the guy, yes.

Also, I said slut, not whore, whores get paid. (also, hif, I didn't say whores deserve to be raped, and I also didn't say she was a whore)

>Sorry...it don't fly with me. A woman can have strong sexual desires at times without the label "slut" or "whore" placed on her by hypocritical males.

That's your opinion.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 18 11:01:57 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:

>Also, I said slut, not whore, whores get paid. (also, hif, I didn't say whores deserve to be raped, and I also didn't say she was a whore)


Christophe said:
>she was being a whore,



Hmmmm


 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Apr 18 11:03:54 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Also, I said slut, not whore, whores get paid. (also, hif, I didn't say whores deserve to be raped, and I also didn't say she was a whore)
>
Yes you did :

In a dark alley rape, full responsibility would be on the rapist, but here, she was being a whore, worse even, whores get paid, and paid the price for it.

I fail to see a difference in "she had it coming" and "she deserved it".
I see the two terms as interchangeable.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 11:10:03 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>Yes you did :
>
>In a dark alley rape, full responsibility would be on the rapist, but here, she was being a whore, worse even, whores get paid, and paid the price for it.
>
>I fail to see a difference in "she had it coming" and "she deserved it".
>I see the two terms as interchangeable.

No I didn't, I said that whores get paid for it, and that therefor she wasn't a whore.

To deserve it would mean that I'd feel like she should have been raped, to have it coming means that she doesn't have to be surprised about it that it happened and that she was at the base of it


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 18 12:28:14 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  why is it that when girls act like guys they bring rape upon themselves?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Apr 18 12:55:06 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  It seems to me that she should be able to have a reasonable expectation not to get raped in that situation.
I think that to say "she had it coming", alleviates the guy of some of the responsibility and that's just wrong.
One might disagree with what she was doing, but she certainly had every right to do it, and without any expectations of rape.


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 18 13:15:11 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Well, certainly some women do put themselves in some seedy situations. Irresponsibly so. But certainly that doesn't absolve any man of the expectation that when a woman says no, no matter the events leading up to it, that he needs to quit right then and there. In the end the only truly guilty party is the rapist.


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 18 13:20:54 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I said certainly. Twice.


Expand your vocabulary, man! If you're aim is to become sesquipedalian, you have indubitably failed.


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 18 13:22:45 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  my opinion is that a woman should be able to go anywhere, and do anything, without the assumption that she might get raped. Why should a girl have to change the path of her life because she has to worry about what a man might do to her? It's not fair, and it's something that should be changing. I can't go jogging at night by myself because something might happen to me. I can't even go to the grocery store too late by myself without having guys look me up and down and make me feel really uncomfortable.


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 18 13:25:55 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  You should move to the Castro district.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 18 13:31:31 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mr. Misses said:
>You should move to the Castro district.

last time I walked the Castro District I didn't feel safe.


*but it was years ago. I've heard it's all yuppified now.


 
choke Posted: Tue Apr 18 14:47:58 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I agree with Libra. Instead of girls acting differently in order to avoid rape how about boys just stop raping girls?


 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue Apr 18 15:06:13 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>I agree with Libra. Instead of girls acting differently in order to avoid rape how about boys just stop raping girls?
>
Sure, that's gonna happen,
Just as soon as I can stop locking my car up at night, or when no one gets mugged in the west end of Louisville on a saturday night.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 18 15:17:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  So do any of you plinkers feel that any responsibility at all should be on the female? If a girl is walking around braless in a tight tank top and a micro-mini and strutting her stuff is that cool with you?
And, trust me, this isn't a hypothetical...girls are dressing like that all over these days. you don't even have to look for it.


*remember...I would NEVER justify rape, no matter if the girl was butt naked. I'm just curious about your thoughts on the topic.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 16:03:59 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>I agree with Libra. Instead of girls acting differently in order to avoid rape how about boys just stop raping girls?


See, you're pulling things out of context.

This is not about girls not being able to act how they want.



If they go around fucking random guys, or giving them head and what not, they can expect that one day it'll go wrong, just like by fucking around you hae it coming that you'll catch some disease.



You're all making it seem like I absolve the guy of anything, the fact that she caused it along with it doesn't absolve the rapist from anything, it just makes her responsible on top of it, just like when somebody murders somebody else due to a fight that doesn't change anything about the murder but the fight may have been seriously provoked by the person who got killed without any reason to do so besides stupidity, so there you have it.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 16:06:29 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  And also, yes, if a girl doesn't have the self respect to hold her back from being a slut, she has it coming, just like a guy who fucks around has it coming that he'll catch some disease.




If you want to be a skank, be my guest, just don't come complaining afterwards and act all holier-than-thou, because you might not have fired the gun put you sure put the bullet in it and pulled the hammer back.


 
choke Posted: Tue Apr 18 18:39:36 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>So do any of you plinkers feel that any responsibility at all should be on the female? If a girl is walking around braless in a tight tank top and a micro-mini and strutting her stuff is that cool with you?
>And, trust me, this isn't a hypothetical...girls are dressing like that all over these days. you don't even have to look for it.
>
>
>*remember...I would NEVER justify rape, no matter if the girl was butt naked. I'm just curious about your thoughts on the topic.

I think although a part of what Christophe says is true, when you wear clothes like that you know the kindof attention you are going to attract. Or if you don't, pretty soon you will find out and it's up to you whether you like it or not and will continue to dress like that. BUT I think that the most commonly accepted response to dressing like that is just the attention of the opposite sex. They aren't thinking about the risk of rape at all. No matter what you wear, many people don't expect to get raped. It's like speeding, no one expects to die but other people have and they still do it right? I don't think it's the girls fault no matter how she dresses, it's not like when she gets dressed in the morning she thinks to herself "I might get raped for wearing this but it's worth the risk" it just doesn't cross her mind at all. So it's not like she's deliberately tempting fate by dressing like that. It's just that she hasn't thought about the worst consequences, like anyone who smokes or speeds or whatever.

I don't know if that makes sense. I have a feeling of what I want to get across but I don't know how to put it in understandable format.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 18:42:14 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Did you read what we're talking about?

It's not about dressing slutty.


 
choke Posted: Tue Apr 18 19:01:12 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Did you read what we're talking about?
>
>It's not about dressing slutty.

Oh... I just read it. I was replying to Addi's example of how the girl was dressed, not the article.

As for her actions... I wouldn't say it was her fault necessarily, but I couldn't help being weirded out by the fact they just started kissing him and that they were together? It makes me wonder why they hadn't had sex before. I guess what she was doing was stupid, and her motives were stupid but she should have been taught more about male urges. I mean it was a pretty childish thing to think he would put up with all that and not feel like he was owed something. I feel badly that things ended up badly for her and I think she was taught too much about seduction at too much of a young age and not enough about guys true natures. I feel like her mother should have told her a horror story or two about rape etc as she was growing up. So it was the guys fault, but she could have been educated a little better.


 
FN Posted: Tue Apr 18 19:25:53 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yeah, god forbid somebody taking responsibility for their own stupidity.


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 18 20:01:27 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  In response to addi's thing about the clothes:

I don't think rape is a response to a sexually attractive woman -- rape is about power and dominance, and it happens to pretty women and ugly women, old women and young woman...girls get hit on when they're attractive or showing more skin than others, but I doubt that their chances of getting rape go up because of that, maybe only because they're in a certain area/at a certain time.

I've been reading a lot of feminist theory stuff recently because of a class. One of the major things they point out about rape is that it is an attack on all women by all men because it creates fear in all women about any man around them. The most common occurance is rape from an acquaintance--not in a back alley...probably because women let down their guard around people they assume will treat them like other people, not like objects.

1 in 6 women in the United States has been raped.


 
addi Posted: Tue Apr 18 22:40:24 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:

>I don't think rape is a response to a sexually attractive woman -- rape is about power and dominance, and it happens to pretty women and ugly women, old women and young woman...girls get hit on when they're attractive or showing more skin than others, but I doubt that their chances of getting rape go up because of that, maybe only because they're in a certain area/at a certain time.

I'm no expert on rape, and I can't get into the mind of a rapist so this is only my opinion based on being a male and life experience, but I don't think all rapes are just about power and dominance, and I don't think it's totally equal either when a rapist has a choice of attacking an "ugly" woman or a sexually attractive one. Also with the celebrity rapes that make the news it's quite often a physically attractive woman that has willingly gone somewhere with the male and then things got out of control. I'm just not convinced that all rapes are soley about power and that the woman's dress, conversation, and body language don't play into things at all. Maybe some sexual attacks on women are simply about a guy being horny and not having the ability to control his desires...end of story.

>I've been reading a lot of feminist theory stuff recently because of a class. One of the major things they point out about rape is that it is an attack on all women by all men because it creates fear in all women about any man around them.

you need to explain this more. As a male I don't like being included with a small minority of wacko males that are rapists just because I was born with a dick like them. Theories like that put a whole group into a category and it rubs me the wrong way...just as it does when someone says all blacks are this way and all mexicans are this way...if you know what i mean. If a woman that is raped is led to believe that it was an attack on her by all males I'd have to say that's a false and harmful theory to be spreading.
Perhaps if you clarify it more I might see I'm not understanding it the way you meant.





 
Mesh Posted: Tue Apr 18 23:21:25 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>
>you need to explain this more. As a male I don't like being included with a small minority of wacko males that are rapists just because I was born with a dick like them.


Yeah. I saw a man, so called "expert" on TV quite a while ago and he was saying something like "all men are essentially rapists by nature" and that really cheesed me off. I wouldn't ever think of doing something like that to another human being.


 
libra Posted: Tue Apr 18 23:46:18 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>libra said:

>
>you need to explain this more. As a male I don't like being included with a small minority of wacko males that are rapists just because I was born with a dick like them. Theories like that put a whole group into a category and it rubs me the wrong way...just as it does when someone says all blacks are this way and all mexicans are this way...if you know what i mean. If a woman that is raped is led to believe that it was an attack on her by all males I'd have to say that's a false and harmful theory to be spreading.
>Perhaps if you clarify it more I might see I'm not understanding it the way you meant.
>

I don't mean that it means that it's that all men are capable of it or anything. But what it comes down to is that any time a woman is in a situation where she's alone with a guy, there's no way for her to know whether or not she's in any sort of danger, because rape happens in so many different ways to so many different people. So in the long run--like any other crime really, it becomes something that affects society on a bigger level...it's something that can't be predicted, that can't be guessed at with much predictability.

A girl i know was raped by a guy that she knew for years and who she often gave a ride to school. A friend of my aunt's was raped by a man walking by her house...because there's no way to be sure who, it becomes something that drives fear into all women, because it could be any man...

i hope that makes more sense...


 
Kira Posted: Wed Apr 19 00:22:48 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I for one would say I understand Christophe's point and don't find it particularly appaling - just irrelevant.

Yes, women who place themselves in potentially dangerous situations bear some of the responsibility for getting hurt. But there is no reason to push that fact:

The responibility for the violent act rests entirely on the man who initiated it and he is the one we punish. We do not allow criminals to make excuses like "But SHE came on to ME." Violence is violence, rape is rape. You go to prison.

The only reason I can see to focus on the woman's responsibility would be in order to encourage her to change her behavior...

Ask any woman who has ever been sexually assaulted and see if she hasn't changed the way she acts, the way she thinks, and the way she interacts with men she doesn't know well. Only the most self-destructive, most ignorant young women, whose whole life is crime and sickness - the very poor with long histories of abuse, for example - might continue to live and/or socialize with 'that kind' of man.

Even if you have a young woman friend and continually warn her that her promiscuity is going to get her into trouble some day, I don't see the point in saying, "I told you so" or "You brought it on yourself" when it does happen. She certainly doesn't need you to tell her. If anything, you'll only aid in lowering her self-esteem further, which will lead to more problems.

I hope this all makes sense as I didn't read the whole thread from first post to last. (I did read the article, however.)


 
addi Posted: Wed Apr 19 07:22:17 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:

>I don't mean that it means that it's that all men are capable of it or anything. But what it comes down to is that any time a woman is in a situation where she's alone with a guy, there's no way for her to know whether or not she's in any sort of danger, because rape happens in so many different ways to so many different people.

That helps.... a little : )

My response was party due to my discomfort with radical feminists...not feminism itself, but those women that propogate the message to other women that men are to be distrusted, that we're all scumbags...that given the opportunity we're all only an eyelash away from physically assaulting a woman. I basically see those types of women as men haters, and I've known a few in my life. They had a bad experience in their life with some crack pot male so now any time they have a conversation or meeting with some guy they don't really know in the back of their minds they're thinking, "I bet this asshole is thinking about raping me".

If you're a girl out on a date with a guy that you just met you don't really know his inner thoughts, as he doesn't know yours yet.
Is there a possibility that this guy is off balance and could rape you? Yes.
Is there the possibility of an engine falling off a 747 flying overhead landing on you? Yes.
If a girl is preoccupied with thinking about every male she finds herself alone with as a potential rapist then she has some personal issues that need dealing with.

Speaking from personal experience when I was out on a date with a girl I was much more preoccupied with thoughts like, "Is my fly down?", "I hope my breath isn't bad", and "I hope I don't say something really stupid tonight".

: )


 
choke Posted: Wed Apr 19 09:37:03 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't know. I pretty much assume everyone's a rapist. It's instinct. Have you watched animal planet or the discovery channel? We're mammals too. We have a girl cat and a boy cat in our house and the boy cat is ALWAYS harrassing the girl cat and she's always stressed out and trying to hide from him. So it's not really a thought thing as it is an instinctual thing I guess. Which makes it more scary.



 
addi Posted: Wed Apr 19 10:08:05 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>I don't know. I pretty much assume everyone's a rapist. It's instinct. >So it's not really a thought thing as it is an instinctual thing I guess.

males AND females have instincts to propogate, make love, and for physical contact. Rape, in my humble opinion, is no longer a natural instinct for homo sapian males to have after tens of thousands of years of evolving (most of us guys have evolved at least).
I have a lot of sexual thoughts every day (hard to believe i know). Never is raping someone one of those thoughts.

If assuming every male you see as being a potential rapist is a protective defense mechanism for your safety then who am i to say that's wrong? I just don't buy into the belief that males now are instincually rapists, with only the law and cultural taboos keeping us from fullfilling our instictual desires.

Maybe I'm just not normal though
: )


 
libra Posted: Wed Apr 19 12:40:28 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I don't think it's instinct that makes women scared, I think it is something that develops throughout one's life that becomes almost instinctual. My dog was attacked by a pit bull when she was younger. She used to always love other dogs and loved playing with them, but after that, she approached every other dog as if they might possibly be dangerous.

I remember a friend's mom telling us about a girl who was raped when I was about 9 or so, in order to make us realize we couldn't just bicycle around everywhere without being aware. With every bit of news about rape, a girl becomes more and more aware of how possible it is...

and I don't think it was a radical feminist who wrote this piece...


 
ifihadahif Posted: Wed Apr 19 13:03:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>I don't think it's instinct that makes women scared, I think it is something that develops throughout one's life that becomes almost instinctual. My dog was attacked by a pit bull when she was younger. She used to always love other dogs and loved playing with them, but after that, she approached every other dog as if they might possibly be dangerous.
>
>I remember a friend's mom telling us about a girl who was raped when I was about 9 or so, in order to make us realize we couldn't just bicycle around everywhere without being aware. With every bit of news about rape, a girl becomes more and more aware of how possible it is...
>
Is it really any different than the possiblity that I might get mugged and beaten if I go out alone after dark ?


 
libra Posted: Wed Apr 19 13:20:29 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>>
>Is it really any different than the possiblity that I might get mugged and beaten if I go out alone after dark ?

no, but in my own opinion, rape would be worse than getting mugged and beaten up. I see it as a bigger, harder to understand crime, mugging someone, you do it for the money, rape is far harder to understand and deal with, I'd say.


 
beetlebum Posted: Wed Apr 19 13:35:59 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Yes, I think so.
I would much rather be mugged and beaten than be raped, for many reasons.

One, I care a lot less about my money or even broken bones than I do about being violated. Sex is the most intimate act (other than birthing a child, I suppose) that a woman can share with another human being, and it can easily be used to dominate us, which is sobering.

Two, women in general have to be more wary. A man walking alone is typically less vulnerable than a female walking alone.

Three, there is a much greater social stigma on being raped than there is on being mugged. Women carry much more shame and guilt following a rape than they do following a mugging, I'd imagine. Their body has been violated, they have to suffer through a vaginal exam if they decide they want to report it, relive the rape in court if charges are pressed, meanwhile knowing that some men will see her as damaged goods. (She shouldn't care about that, but it certainly doesn't help, I'm guessing.) Also, rape carries the risk of both disease and pregnancy. Mugging/beating does not.

Four, women are typically less strong than men. (Okay, so maybe this piggybacks on number two, but hopefully you'll indulge me.) I'm sorry if any woman on this forum thinks differently because I'm not trying to belittle women, but physiologically, we're just smaller and weaker. Moreover, it is much more likely for a woman to be slipped a date rape drug at a club than it is for a man, and also reasonably more likely that she will be raped if she is slipped something. Most guys I have spoken with do not worry about going out and getting raped. I haven't spoken with many members of the male gay community,so I don't really know if that's different. But I feel it safe to say that most heterosexual males do not have to worry about being raped by either strangers or acquaintances, and are not bombarded with stories that say as much.

I think Libra's point is that what a man may see as a safe experience, a woman does and frankly, should not... whether that's going out alone, drinking at a club or bar, getting into a car on a first date. If statistically, 1 in 6 women have been raped, there's a pretty good chance that you or someone you know has been/will be raped, and that's a frightening statistic for any woman.

I'm not saying all men are evil, or that women should think that way, but as Libra pointed out, women must approach situations with caution that a man would never think twice about.


 
beetlebum Posted: Wed Apr 19 13:38:25 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>>>
>>Is it really any different than the possiblity that I might get mugged and beaten if I go out alone after dark ?
>
>no, but in my own opinion, rape would be worse than getting mugged and beaten up. I see it as a bigger, harder to understand crime, mugging someone, you do it for the money, rape is far harder to understand and deal with, I'd say.

sorry, i didn't mean to put words in your mouth... so feel free to correct me/clarify, etc.


 
jennemmer Posted: Wed Apr 19 13:54:54 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I agree that while I wouldn't go so far as to say that all men have the potential to be rapists I do have to agree that women are taught to treat all men as if they could be rapists if they want to be safe.

As a rule I don't go anywhere where I'm going to be completely alone with a guy I don't know. Even if someone seems nice and I know them a little bit I always have a backup plan in the back of my mind; a "what if I get a ride with this guy and he goes somewhere other than where he is supposed to..." sort of thing.

To some extent this is just paranoia but by the same token there are people who would say that by not taking it into account I would then be resposible for putting myself into a harmful situation.


 
jennemmer Posted: Wed Apr 19 14:02:25 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>Is it really any different than the possiblity that I might get mugged and beaten if I go out alone after dark ?

Being mugged is a physical crime whereas I'd say rape is a far more emotional crime. Bruses and broken bones heal, emotions are not so straight forward.

After being mugged maybe being somewhere dark or closed in will bring back memories and be upsetting. After a rape it seems most women find that sex even with someone they care about/who cares about them brings up memories and is upsetting.

Which would you rather deal with?


 
libra Posted: Wed Apr 19 14:04:54 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  beetlebum said:
>libra said:

>sorry, i didn't mean to put words in your mouth... so feel free to correct me/clarify, etc.

nope, i agree completely, you said it much more clearly than i did...


To just add something...I've never been warned to be careful at night because I might be mugged. Because there's something worse out there for me as a girl (not that men are never raped, but the number is not as high).

I think rape haunts a lot of women's activities. Women are often scared to talk back to men who verbally sexually harass them because of a fear that the guy will go one step further. Every look, every word from a guy has to be analyzed for its content, for its intentions.

I was verbally sexually harassed by a guy in high school. The way he made me feel is probably about 100th of the way a woman feels after being raped, but I think that's probably the weakest and most contaminated and helpless I've felt in my life. I still have a lot of confusion over what happened...he was really nice some days and other days he tried his hardest to shock me.

One of the things I think is scariest about rape is that it signifies an intense 'othering' and objectification of a victim. I don't think the media helps in any way...portraying a woman saying 'no' as secretly meaning yes, portraying women as objects, and too many sex scenes in movies tend to be overtly forceful on the man's part. The idea of women being 'taken' has been romanticized.


 
choke Posted: Wed Apr 19 14:47:39 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>choke said:
>>I don't know. I pretty much assume everyone's a rapist. It's instinct. >So it's not really a thought thing as it is an instinctual thing I guess.
>
>males AND females have instincts to propogate, make love, and for physical contact. Rape, in my humble opinion, is no longer a natural instinct for homo sapian males to have after tens of thousands of years of evolving (most of us guys have evolved at least).
>I have a lot of sexual thoughts every day (hard to believe i know). Never is raping someone one of those thoughts.
>
>If assuming every male you see as being a potential rapist is a protective defense mechanism for your safety then who am i to say that's wrong? I just don't buy into the belief that males now are instincually rapists, with only the law and cultural taboos keeping us from fullfilling our instictual desires.
>
>Maybe I'm just not normal though
>: )

I think the main difference between us is that we look in evolution in different ways... I do not expect everyone to be a rapist, but I do expect, like you said, that they do have sexual urges. So the main question for me when I talk to a guy is is this guy strong enough to overcome his urges or not? And I although I do not blame them, I do tend to dismiss a lot of guys who I feel like are insecure enough in themselves to have a stronger urge than they do manners. I have found that it's often the people who are less secure socially that lean towards the rape thing. I'm not sure why, maybe those that are more comfortable in social situations limit themselves a lot more so as to be accepted.

I think it doesn't depend on who you are as a personality so much as it does how you have learnt how to interact with people. It's like learning not to pick your nose in public. It's a temptation, like any other, that needs to be recognised and educated against. I feel like boy children should be taught more respectful ways not just in life but in sexual situations as well. Some guys think rape is what you're supposed to do...

I'm talking about general rape here anyway. There are some sickos out there who do it for dominance, or anger or whatever but I think like the situation this girl is outlining, when the guy is already turned on etc, it comes down a lot to education and experience with limiting yourself in tempting situations.

If that makes sense.


 
choke Posted: Wed Apr 19 14:56:46 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I feel like a lot of what I say is stuff people have already thought about and realized doesn't work so just let me know if that's the case. Like I know at the moment I think I'm making sense but I also know that when I was 12 I thought I was making sense too. So don't be afraid to let me know if I should just wait a couple years before I try arguing and stuff on here... Because I don't want to be a pain.

AND - I thought about it and I realized there are 2 types of 'rapists' there are the ones that you already with/are being intimate with and just can't control themselves anymore and those were the ones i was talking about above.

But there are also people who go out with the intent to rape and I'm not sure how I view those yet. The bell's gone anyway so I'll get back to you on this.


 
Mesh Posted: Wed Apr 19 15:15:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
> The bell's gone anyway so I'll get back to you on this.


Are you on the internets at school? THEY HAVE THE INTERNETS AT SCHOOL NOW?!?!!


 
addi Posted: Wed Apr 19 15:43:37 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>I feel like a lot of what I say is stuff people have already thought about and realized doesn't work so just let me know if that's the case. Like I know at the moment I think I'm making sense but I also know that when I was 12 I thought I was making sense too. So don't be afraid to let me know if I should just wait a couple years before I try arguing and stuff on here... Because I don't want to be a pain.

: ) What you say here and on all your serious posts is very valid, Choke (with the possible exception of Penis Day celebrations) : )
I was mostly attempting to get more thoughts out on this subject with my posts...cuz I enjoy "thoughtful" posts here. I think you, Jenn, Beetlebum and Libra all make very valid points. As a male I don't have to deal with the things you deal with on a daily basis (I thank god I don't have to deal with some of the things women have to). Perhaps it's really best for you plinkers to think of all strange men you meet as potential rapists...if that keeps you from having to experience such a horrible event then it's worth it.
I think I'm going to make myself a cardboard sign and wear it over my shirt that reads "Not A Potential Rapist", just so the next time a woman gets on the elevator with me alone at work she can relax.


 
jennemmer Posted: Wed Apr 19 16:20:37 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:

>I think I'm going to make myself a cardboard sign and wear it over my shirt that reads "Not A Potential Rapist", just so the next time a woman gets on the elevator with me alone at work she can relax.

I don't think you need to worry too much. I spend most of my time in situations where I am not obsessing about the rapist potential of all of the men around. It would have to be one long elevator ride with no possibility of other passangers for me to feel uncomfortable about it. (Though I guess it depends on the guy in the elevator).




 
FN Posted: Wed Apr 19 16:22:16 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Also, addi, either you work in a very tall building, or you're easily satisfied.


 
addi Posted: Wed Apr 19 16:46:14 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>Also, addi, either you work in a very tall building,

978 floors


>or you're easily satisfied.

yes...I'm easy


 
addi Posted: Wed Apr 19 16:49:22 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  jennemmer said:

>It would have to be one long elevator ride with no possibility of other passangers for me to feel uncomfortable about it.

Canadians just don't have a sense of humour : )

Okay okay...if I make a sign it will read "I don't drive a corvette."





 
jennemmer Posted: Wed Apr 19 16:58:12 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:

>Canadians just don't have a sense of humour : )
>
>Okay okay...if I make a sign it will read "I don't drive a corvette."


;p Here I was just trying to be reassuring...


 
choke Posted: Thu Apr 20 14:22:49 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mr. Misses said:
>choke said:
>> The bell's gone anyway so I'll get back to you on this.
>
>
>Are you on the internets at school? THEY HAVE THE INTERNETS AT SCHOOL NOW?!?!!

Yes they do. In NZ this site is blocked on the school computers, but this school allows everything except MySpace.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Apr 20 14:27:12 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>
>Yes they do. In NZ this site is blocked on the school computers, but this school allows everything except MySpace.


LOL!


"You kids can go to shooshtime.com, you can go to ogrish.com, you can even go to killbabiesandeatthemfordinnerandthenrobabankandkilltheteller.com, but DON'T YOU DARE GO TO MYSPACE!!"


 
choke Posted: Thu Apr 20 14:33:19 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mr. Misses said:
>choke said:
>>
>>Yes they do. In NZ this site is blocked on the school computers, but this school allows everything except MySpace.
>
>
>LOL!
>
>
>"You kids can go to shooshtime.com, you can go to ogrish.com, you can even go to killbabiesandeatthemfordinnerandthenrobabankandkilltheteller.com, but DON'T YOU DARE GO TO MYSPACE!!"

It's true. My friend even pointed out to me the naked hooker he wanted to visit while he was in Amsterdam on their prostitute website.


 
addi Posted: Thu Apr 20 14:47:50 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:

>It's true. My friend even pointed out to me the naked hooker he wanted to visit while he was in Amsterdam on their prostitute website.

I REALLY want to go to Amsterdam so bad it hurts.
Not to partake in the weed or sex mind you, but to carry my Bible in my hand and preach to them that if they don't repent their evil ways they'll spend an eternity in the fire and brimstone of hell....right next to Bush, Rove and Cheney.


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Apr 20 14:51:10 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
> spend an eternity in the fire and brimstone of hell....right next to Bush, Rove and Cheney.


Oh you! You forgot Steve Oedekerk.


 
addi Posted: Thu Apr 20 14:53:33 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mr. Misses said:

>Oh you!

lol!

That sounds so gay.....oh yeah, it's Thursday.


: )


 
FN Posted: Thu Apr 20 15:46:35 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>That sounds so gay

My little tank is going haywire


 
Mesh Posted: Thu Apr 20 15:46:54 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  2QT2BSTR8


 
choke Posted: Fri Apr 21 14:45:46 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ICURAQT


 
Mesh Posted: Fri Apr 21 15:11:10 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>ICURAQT


:)


I The chambered muscular organ in vertebrates that pumps blood received from the veins into the arteries, thereby maintaining the flow of blood through the entire circulatory system you, Choke.


 
choke Posted: Fri May 5 14:35:38 2006 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Mr. Misses said:
>choke said:
>>ICURAQT
>
>
>:)
>
>
>I The chambered muscular organ in vertebrates that pumps blood received from the veins into the arteries, thereby maintaining the flow of blood through the entire circulatory system you, Choke.

:D



 



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