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i see stupid people...
antartica Posted: Sun Feb 4 21:28:40 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The Idiot Report........


Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote this. "Put all your
muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a
ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the
police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license
out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
name and address of the robber that he got off the
license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block
through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign
(Please note that all of the above people are allowed
to vote)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on
our road.
The reason:
"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be
crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.
______________________________________________________


IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
taco. She asked the person behind the counter for
"minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg.
He was a Chef?
Yep...From kansas City!
______________________________________________________


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked,!
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
______________________________________________________


IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
cross the street
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the
light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
___________________________________________________


IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to" downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We
should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
________________________________________


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself and for the sake of her own life,
couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no
less.
____________________________________________________


IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle
and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I
announced to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton, Mississippi.
______________________________________________________


STAY ALERT!
They walk among us .. and they REPRODUCE ...!!!


 
addi Posted: Sun Feb 4 22:11:20 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  antartica said:

>STAY ALERT!
>They walk among us .. and they REPRODUCE ...!!!

but why are so many of them located here?

: )


 
J. Posted: Sun Feb 4 23:37:07 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
I am getting so bedraggled by these morose, depressing articles and negative subjects that made headline news and they appear everywhere. Worse, they even become a topic here in GT.

Come on, people, the world isn't all that bad, is it?

* rolling eyes, looking around, and pondering to self * Hm, I dunno know. Maybe it is?



 
Cherry_Moon Posted: Mon Feb 5 03:51:39 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  yes yes it is....


most of the time...


but it's kinda of cool like maybe 3 weeks out of 52...


 
choke Posted: Mon Feb 5 06:13:57 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  suenos said:

>Come on, people, the world isn't all that bad, is it?


I like it


 
addi Posted: Mon Feb 5 07:13:34 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  suenos said:

>Come on, people, the world isn't all that bad, is it?

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD
(George Weiss / Bob Thiele)

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Feb 5 08:00:47 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The world is a wonderful and fascinating place and in my opinion, the good outweighs the bad.



 
J. Posted: Mon Feb 5 09:29:39 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Thank you, Mr. Addi. I love that song.

Here's one of my favourite quotes:


Hub: Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.

Secondhand Lion (2003)


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Feb 5 11:06:39 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  suenos said:
>Thank you, Mr. Addi. I love that song.
>
>Here's one of my favourite quotes:
>
>
>Hub: Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.
>
>Secondhand Lions (2003)
>
One of my favorite movies.
:-)


 
~Just Imagine~ Posted: Mon Feb 5 14:53:37 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot.Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.


 
addi Posted: Sun Mar 4 11:05:40 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  couldn't find a more appropriate thread title to put this...
: )

Another "Conservative Bimbo" spokesperson inserts foot in mouth (she must be use to the taste by now)

at the March 2nd Conservative Political Action Conference:

ANN COULTER: Oh, and I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards. But it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word "faggot," so I'm -- so I'm kind of at an impasse, can't really talk about Edwards. So I think I'll just conclude here and take your questions.

On the July 27 edition of MSNBC's Hardball Coulter called former Vice President Al Gore a "total fag", and then immediately said it was "a joke".

So when the more rational political pundits make a comment on Ms. Coulter being an "ignorant slut" as long as they follow it up with "it's a joke" the righties can't get their dirty panties all in a bunch.

The neo-cons should just be so darn proud knowing one of their most outspoken and visible media supporters is a hate filled idiot. Add Dubya to the mix of the mentally impaired right wingers and you've got quite a dynamic duo....but, of course, I'm just joking.




 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Mar 4 11:29:30 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>couldn't find a more appropriate thread title to put this...
>: )
>
>Another "Conservative Bimbo" spokesperson inserts foot in mouth (she must be use to the taste by now)
>
>at the March 2nd Conservative Political Action Conference:
>
>ANN COULTER: Oh, and I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards. But it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word "faggot," so I'm -- so I'm kind of at an impasse, can't really talk about Edwards. So I think I'll just conclude here and take your questions.
>
>On the July 27 edition of MSNBC's Hardball Coulter called former Vice President Al Gore a "total fag", and then immediately said it was "a joke".
>
>So when the more rational political pundits make a comment on Ms. Coulter being an "ignorant slut" as long as they follow it up with "it's a joke" the righties can't get their dirty panties all in a bunch.
>
>The neo-cons should just be so darn proud knowing one of their most outspoken and visible media supporters is a hate filled idiot. Add Dubya to the mix of the mentally impaired right wingers and you've got quite a dynamic duo....but, of course, I'm just joking.
>
Yeah, but it's not a big deal to Refer to Dubya as a nazi and a murderer ?

Or for Bill Maher to wish the assasination attempt on Cheney had succeeded ?

This fucking list could go on forever, but you've got the word faggot from Ann Coulter and you go off on that ?
It would only be hate filled diatribe if Edwards was gay. Since he's obviously not, it was nothing more than a parting shot at a pretty boy with aspirations of the White House.

Pot, kettle, black or what ?


 
addi Posted: Sun Mar 4 12:25:24 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:

>Yeah, but it's not a big deal to Refer to Dubya as a nazi and a murderer ?
>
>Or for Bill Maher to wish the assasination attempt on Cheney had succeeded ?


the difference with the above examples though is that they're true

: )


 
ifihadahif Posted: Sun Mar 4 16:23:17 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>ifihadahif said:
>
>>Yeah, but it's not a big deal to Refer to Dubya as a nazi and a murderer ?
>>
>>Or for Bill Maher to wish the assasination attempt on Cheney had succeeded ?
>
>
>the difference with the above examples though is that they're true
>
>: )
Uh huh. . .
And then there's Rosie O'Donnell's "ching-chong! ching-chong!" Chinese slur, or Senator Biden's "Ya know ya just can't walk into a 7-11 anymore without being an Indian.", or Michael Richards: "A nigger! Look there's a nigger!!" or of course, Hillary's famous: "Fucking Jew Bastards!!" Statements by celebrities and liberal politicians completely ignored or quickly swept under the rug by the MSM. Maybe Ann should ironicly claim it was all just "a botched joke".



 



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