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Military humor
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 15 12:08:12 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  THE RETIREMENT BONUS


The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted
men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised
any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a
bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any
two points in his body. Those applying got to choose what those two
points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant
Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,

"From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
received. But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with
him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to
"drop 'em," which he did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on
the tip of his weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly
exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The old Sergeant Major calmly
replied, " Vietnam "



 
casper Posted: Thu Feb 15 14:40:24 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  i just had the nicest gentleman buy me lunch today. i have no idea who he is or anything he just wanted to thank me. he was in the navy during the korean war. when people wonder why i stay in its because of little things like that :)


 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 15 14:57:53 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  casper said:
>i just had the nicest gentleman buy me lunch today. i have no idea who he is or anything he just wanted to thank me. he was in the navy during the korean war. when people wonder why i stay in its because of little things like that :)
>
Hey you got a lunch on me anytime you're in my town.
:-)


 
J. Posted: Thu Feb 15 15:27:45 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
LOL! Thank you, Mr. hif.

* I am in great pain and all this laughing isn't helping, but I still enjoy it.*


 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 15 16:02:52 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  suenos said:
>
>LOL! Thank you, Mr. hif.
>
>* I am in great pain and all this laughing isn't helping, but I still enjoy it.*
>
Why are you in pain ?

And who is that in your avatar?


 
J. Posted: Thu Feb 15 16:22:25 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>>
>Why are you in pain ?
>
>And who is that in your avatar?


Sorry Mr. hif, I'm taking the 5th amendment on your (invasive) questions.








 
ifihadahif Posted: Thu Feb 15 16:46:26 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  suenos said:
>ifihadahif said:
>>>
>>Why are you in pain ?
>>
>>And who is that in your avatar?
>
>
>Sorry Mr. hif, I'm taking the 5th amendment on your (invasive) questions.
>
Invasive ?? no way !

Inquisitive maybe but not invasive.

Now you've hurt my feelings.

And sorry to hear that you are in pain.


 
J. Posted: Fri Feb 23 15:16:13 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
 
I had (what I thought was) a minor accident. I ended up staying in the hospital for 4 days! *LOL*

Not a big deal. I am doing okay now.

I am very sorry that I hurt your feelings, Mr. hif. Please accept my apology.









 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri Feb 23 15:56:59 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  suenos said:
>
>I had (what I thought was) a minor accident. I ended up staying in the hospital for 4 days! *LOL*
>
>Not a big deal. I am doing okay now.
>
>I am very sorry that I hurt your feelings, Mr. hif. Please accept my apology.
>
Apology accepted.

I hear doctors are the worst patients.




 



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