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Some things to consider
ifihadahif Posted: Sat Apr 28 10:08:19 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Some of these are old, but they're all worth considering.
Crim, #24 is for you :-)

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

37. Your friends love you anyway.

38. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic



 
addi Posted: Sat Apr 28 10:29:51 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  : )

some good ones in there.


>15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

I do the laundry..I hope it applies to that as well.


 
DanSRose Posted: Sat Apr 28 15:45:51 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Addendum to #10:
If you look like your passport picture, you are too ill travel.

#8 is the most important one.


 
JesusOnline Posted: Sat Apr 28 16:54:33 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I liked this a lot, thanks : )

Number 34, reminds me of a joke i was told once - "I'd rather see a pregnant woman standing on the train, than a fat woman sitting in my old seat crying"




 
Mesh Posted: Sat Apr 28 22:20:16 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  DanSRose said:
>
>#8 is the most important one.

Yes.


 
Dancer Posted: Sun Apr 29 22:30:33 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  JesusOnline said:
>I liked this a lot, thanks : )
>
>Number 34, reminds me of a joke i was told once - "I'd rather see a pregnant woman standing on the train, than a fat woman sitting in my old seat crying"
>

LOL... i almost got into this shit until i started to watch the feet, because pregnies have this pair of bloated feet (well sometimes) and decided she's a phony. I think pregnant women should wear proper pregnancy clothes or carry some baby stuff around.


 
addi Posted: Mon Apr 30 12:08:01 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Some squirrels to consider...

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2016822185

*these guys have way too much free time on their hands
: )


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Apr 30 19:44:33 2007 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>Some squirrels to consider...
>
>http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2016822185
>
>*these guys have way too much free time on their hands
>: )
>
The guys that built that thing are going to be sooooo sorry !
They will prolly get a visit from Pam Anderson now.
:-)


 



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