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Oh man oyou gyuys im so durnk
Mesh Posted: Sun Feb 10 18:34:20 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Nah, not really.


But listen, I'm not saying we should kill stupid people. I'm just saying we should take all the warning labels off of everything and let nature sort it out.


 
addi Posted: Sun Feb 10 20:07:44 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wisenheimer said:

>I'm just saying we should take all the warning labels off of everything and let nature sort it out.

Nature seems to be sorting it out even with the warning labels left on these days.



 
addi Posted: Sun Feb 10 20:44:55 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I just discovered I love those little tapioca pudding snacks. I just ate three of them.


 
Posted: Sun Feb 10 21:10:25 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  addi said:
>I just discovered I love those little tapioca pudding snacks. I just ate three of them.

almost bought some at the grocery store today. opted for pop tarts and nutri-grain bars.


 
libra Posted: Sun Feb 10 22:18:59 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ew. tapioca pudding is gross. I've actually never eaten it, but I can't eat white-ish colored food that's that consistency. i have some sort of aversion to it. Sour Cream, cream cheese, tapioca pudding, mayonnaise.


 
Kira Posted: Mon Feb 11 00:29:13 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I had an ice cream sandwich on Friday and honestly, that was probably the best moment of the whole week for me. Not that the rest of last week was horrible (it was, but..) I just hadn't had an ice cream sandwich in six years. It was soooo good and I was absurdly delighted to be eating it, LOL.


 
addi Posted: Mon Feb 11 07:31:27 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>ew. tapioca pudding is gross.

You hush child!
All of our founding fathers ate delicious tapioca pudding during breaks at the Constitutional Convention. Dolly Madison served it to them. If you were a real patriot you'd eat it too.


 
Billy Pilgrim Posted: Mon Feb 11 07:50:01 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Must resist semen joke


 
Ahriman Posted: Mon Feb 11 14:52:10 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>ew. tapioca pudding is gross. I've actually never eaten it, but I can't eat white-ish colored food that's that consistency. i have some sort of aversion to it. Sour Cream, cream cheese, tapioca pudding, mayonnaise.


Freud is probably crapping his grave right now.

Saturday night, I was smashed. Completely freaking gone. Sooo much drinking. I've got a nice hole in my right hand from where I slammed my hand into a nail in a wall in order to stop myself from falling down a flight of stairs.




 
everyday_daisy Posted: Mon Feb 11 16:12:29 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Pop tarts!!!


CriminalSaint said:
>addi said:
>>I just discovered I love those little tapioca pudding snacks. I just ate three of them.
>
>almost bought some at the grocery store today. opted for pop tarts and nutri-grain bars.


 
Mesh Posted: Mon Feb 11 20:41:41 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I've got this lump underneath my skin on my back. It's not visible, but very easy to feel just by lightly touching it. I should probably go get it checked out now. It's been there about two months. I gave it the usual "Oh I'm just going to leave it and it will go away" treatment, which is what I always do. But, uh, I'm not quite sure what it is, but it's been there long enough without going away that I should not let it go any longer.


Goddamnit. I hate the Doctors. And I swear to god if they want to Biopsy I am going to demand they allow me to smoke a doober beforehand, or I'll be inviting them to die in a fire.


 
libra Posted: Mon Feb 11 23:25:33 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Wisenheimer said:
>I've got this lump underneath my skin on my back. It's not visible, but very easy to feel just by lightly touching it. I should probably go get it checked out now. It's been there about two months. I gave it the usual "Oh I'm just going to leave it and it will go away" treatment, which is what I always do. But, uh, I'm not quite sure what it is, but it's been there long enough without going away that I should not let it go any longer.
>

You should get it looked at. My friend's brother had tumors on his spine that weren't checked out right away, and even though they were benign, he'll walk with braces for probably the rest of his life due to the physical damage they caused.

Not that I'm saying its a tumor! But still, the sooner you find out, the better.




 
libra Posted: Mon Feb 11 23:27:23 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Ahriman said:
>libra said:
>>ew. tapioca pudding is gross. I've actually never eaten it, but I can't eat white-ish colored food that's that consistency. i have some sort of aversion to it. Sour Cream, cream cheese, tapioca pudding, mayonnaise.
>
>
>Freud is probably crapping his grave right now.
>

I hate Freud.


 
Kira Posted: Mon Feb 11 23:41:31 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Is this our new open thread?

My little brother got propositioned by a prostitute today.

I freaked out a bit. :P


 
FN Posted: Tue Feb 12 06:50:47 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>I hate Freud.

Blasphemy

I'm sure the old rascal would like you


 
addi Posted: Tue Feb 12 07:41:26 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:

>I hate Freud.
Freud loved tapioca pudding snacks.
I read that sometimes when he was doing psychoanalysis on a female patient he would put a spoonfull in his mouth, open it wide, and say, "What does this remind you of?"...just for shits and giggles.


 
Mesh Posted: Tue Feb 12 17:56:49 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Lunch break:

-Pick up some damned fine cuisine at La Madeleine.

-Drive to Zilker park

-Walk back into the wooded area a little ways, to the picnic table that is quite well hidden, even from the other quite well hidden spots.

-Pack a bowl and shmoke it.

-Pack another one for good measure, and smoke that too.

-Go back to work stoned

-Sit at your desk grooving to Jeff Buckley, Kansas, Sly and the Family Stone, Ween, and Rush.

-Eat cool ranch doritos

-Walk into the office kitchen, reach into the freezer, pull out the box of taquitos, put EVERY SINGLE TAQUITO into the oven and heat them up.

-Chuckle softly to yourself about how clever you are, making the entire batch. That's some good shit right there in that oven.

-Take the taquitos back to your office, make that stupid conference call to listen to Caroline talk about her vacation to Florida(blegh) and Dr. Parks talk about his "super kid!" timmy and the shitty drawing he made. Realize that they must have smoked something too, because nothing work related is getting accomplished.

-Excuse yourself from the conference call, and hang up.

-Eat your Taquitos and listen to Billy Joel and Cake.

-Go outside for a cigarette.

-Go back inside and watch funny videos online. Sober up. Be disappointed.

-But, it's time to go home now!




I love Fridays. Nobody does anything, and none of the higher ups GIVES anything to anyone to do.


Let's see the hands of all those who like to get baked on friday lunch breaks!

Or toasted, whichever. Have a friend, who his entire office goes out for a 3 hour lunch and drinks on fridays, then goes back for the rest of the day........and continues drinking. The boss brings in all the booze!


LOL offices.
I can't wait until friday!



 
Mesh Posted: Tue Feb 12 18:19:58 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The Office Poop Survival Guide:

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the hereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.




Haha. It's all so true.


 
addi Posted: Mon Feb 18 08:48:40 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  http://www.tacticalunderground.us/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8490

"Aim for the ass!"

*some of the avatar pics there are interesting too
: )


 
Kira Posted: Mon Feb 18 20:30:14 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  What system of writing is it they use in Vietnam? 'Cause I keep getting junk mail written in it.


 



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