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everyday_daisy Posted: Sun Mar 23 19:03:46 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  How do you guys deal when exes become a problem? Exes from the other side (i.e. of the person you're with)




 
FN Posted: Sun Mar 23 20:13:06 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Cyanide.


 
Posted: Sun Mar 23 21:07:04 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  everyday_daisy said:
> Exes from the other side

That's what you get for conducting séances


 
libra Posted: Sun Mar 23 22:13:22 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  To answer your question seriously, unlike these two silly boys.

I've never really had to deal with exes, because the girls my boyfriend was with before me were really short-lived high school relationships.
But i have dealt with knowing that there were female friends of his who have been interested (he's always been the 'backup' guy for these girls, as he is a really nice, smart, successful guy).

With those girls...I basically kept my cool...because becoming worried/jealous would just make things worse.

But I guess exes can always be a problem. I always think that if my boyfriend and I broke up, I'd be a horrible person to date because I'd be comparing everyone to him, since we've been so close for such a long time.

I guess people can play a lot of games, and the best thing to do sometimes is to let people know you're not going to play along.


 
mat_j Posted: Mon Mar 24 10:03:42 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My poor buddy had a nasty call about his current lady, some text messages and 27 missed calls between 1.30 and 7.00 AM the other day, talk about a pain in the ass ex.

T x


 
FN Posted: Mon Mar 24 10:49:58 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I'd rather have a pain in the ass ex than pain in the ass sex.

Anyway, I think exes can only form a possible problem (somewhat) if your partner wasn't the one who ended the relationship, because then there's that damaged ego that needs repairing I suppose. Their feeling of subjugation towards the person who broke up making them more appreciative of advances from the ex and such might be a problem, but only if your current partner isn't stable enough to handle that sort of thing.

Most important thing though with stuff like this is not the ex who's a problem I think but your own confidence or lack thereof.


 
ifihadahif Posted: Mon Mar 24 14:05:51 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  If there are no children involved and you are not required to be around each other in your everyday or professional lives then there should be no problems.
If there are problems then one or both of you are playing games.

If there are children involved, then you both need to be adults and put whatever animosity you have between you away and see that the children are taken care of.
If you display animosity in front of the children it hurts no one else but them.

I have two ex-wives and I have children with both of them. We are welcome in each others homes and if we are thrown together in a social setting, it is not awkward or difficult for any of us.
In other words we are grownups.

My wife and I sat down and ate with my first wife and her family family (ex mother-in-law and ex sister-in-law)at a social gathering for my oldest son and his wife recently and a good time was had by all.
A lot of people thought it was strange we could do that without causing a scene but I'm proud of the fact that we could set a good example for my son and his wife and to be sure, we all did in fact enjoy each other's company.


 
Ahriman Posted: Tue Mar 25 04:19:54 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  There's a guy in Newark I talk to.


 
everyday_daisy Posted: Tue Mar 25 22:16:34 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Haha (and after a lot of tears)

Thanks guys, I ended the relationship.

I really loved that one.

Men are such liars.


 
Dancer Posted: Wed Mar 26 00:07:24 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:

>
>I guess people can play a lot of games, and the best thing to do sometimes is to let people know you're not going to play along.

i so totally agree on this one.


 
addi Posted: Wed Mar 26 07:30:53 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  everyday_daisy said:

>Men are such liars.

it's true. I hate us.


 
Aeon Posted: Wed Mar 26 23:34:31 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I think that it is kind of the responsibility of the person you are with to not let their exes become a problem in your relationship. I think also you need to tell your significant other how you feel about the whole thing.


 



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