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choke Posted: Sat May 10 21:50:02 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Do you guys know of ways to let things go?

I can be quite sensitive and have a lot of trouble forgetting things after I have forgiven them and they are a constant source of irritation/pain to me. I also have a lot of irrational fears that limit my production in life (eg. sometimes I won't go to dinner because I think I'll pass out in the food line or something)

I'd be keen to try anything! I'm even considering hypnotherapy? Do you guys know much about it/ have you tried anything like it?


 
libra Posted: Sat May 10 23:59:40 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I just spent the last five months working at a psychiatry office with a psychiatrist who does hypnotherapy too...he was the nicest guy in the world and it sounded like what he did really helped his patients a lot. Going to see someone like that might help you figure out how to manage things. I know they helped people find ways to manage things like phobias, anxiety.


 
FN Posted: Sun May 11 06:30:00 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>I just spent the last five months working at a psychiatry office with a psychiatrist who does hypnotherapy too...he was the nicest guy in the world and it sounded like what he did really helped his patients a lot. Going to see someone like that might help you figure out how to manage things.

Quack + placebo = results


Personally I'm not a believer in the effects of psychology at all (psychiatry with drugs involved is a different story, thanks to the drugs). In the end the problems themselves don't get changed at all, it's just make-believe.


As for you tiff, if you can't forget about something once you've "forgiven" people, you haven't forgiven then and it probably was something too serious for them to get out of with "I'm sorry, I won't do it again" and might be better solved with a "fuck off".

The irrational fears thing is something very strange indeed, it's a kind of vicious circle thing though where you work yourself up into a fear or tantrum before anything at all happens. Maybe you should go and see a quack for that.


 
~Just Imagine~ Posted: Sun May 11 12:46:21 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  >Christophe said:

>
>
>Personally I'm not a believer in the effects of psychology at all (psychiatry with drugs involved is a different story, thanks to the drugs). In the end the problems themselves don't get changed at all, it's just make-believe.
>

you're just full of shit sometimes, aren't you... :)

But I must agree with your first advice, not forgetting about things when you have "forgiven" people could actually mean it is still bugging you, and the forgiveness itself wasn't good enough...

On the other hand, Irrational fears can really take over your life and run it for you, don't let it get to far, there are ways to help you get writh of your fears, you could go and seek some professional help for that(behavioral therapy, exposure, cognitive therapy). It will help you get control over your fears, instead of the other way around...

Definitly seek help if you notice the following things:

* Unexpected panicattacks (fears)
* After a panicattack, you still have the following symptoms (untill about a month after the attack):
- You're worried about a next panicattack
- You're worried about the consequences of a next panicattack
- Your behavior changes in relation to a panick attack

* If you've got a form of agorafobia


Keep in mind that anxiety also functions as a symptom for other psychological diseases like for example depression (they both work on the same pathofysiologic region in the brain and both are influeced by a balance between noradrenaline and serotine)

Therefor things like this shouldn't be ignored... and it's not a bad thing to seek some professonal help.

I would not recommend hypnotherapy, for I do believe thats bull :)
For stuff like anxiety and fears you're better off with the therapies I mentioned above...


Good luck with it!


 
libra Posted: Sun May 11 13:54:31 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  I used to not believe in hypnotherapy, until I talked to this psychiatrist. I figure if people who go through the entire process of medical school think that it is useful, it must work to a certain extent.





 
FN Posted: Sun May 11 17:41:43 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>I used to not believe in hypnotherapy, until I talked to this psychiatrist.

I used to not believe in the bioresonance, untul I talked to this guru.


 
FN Posted: Sun May 11 17:42:58 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ~Just Imagine~ said:
>you're just full of shit sometimes, aren't you... :)

I eat a lot of fibers


 
libra Posted: Sun May 11 18:06:14 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>libra said:
>>I used to not believe in hypnotherapy, until I talked to this psychiatrist.
>
>I used to not believe in the bioresonance, untul I talked to this guru.

shush your face....psychiatrists are real doctors!


 
Ahriman Posted: Mon May 12 12:26:29 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Honestly choke, I get the exact same thing. Past events and actions haunt me all the time but I just treat them as they are: the past. Done. Over With. Finished. Just live in the present. If that doesn't work, I find driving really, really fast while blasting death metal helps.


 
Kira Posted: Mon May 12 21:57:03 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  The best thing you've got going for yourself so far is just the fact that you're aware of this defect (if defect you would call it).

I'm painfully sensitive too and I remember things forever. It makes relationships difficult but that's why you've got to develope a mental emergency brake for when you feel yourself pushing someone away unfairly.

Not sure about the irrational fears - I've never needed a reason not to go out, being anti-social and a homebody. I think you should confide your fears in the people you trust, being sure to imply a need for support - so hopefully they they won't simply tease you and say, "Don't be silly."


 
mat_j Posted: Fri May 16 04:38:48 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  My friend Happy Boy went to hypnotherapy, in fact some of my work friends are hypnotherapists, it really, really helped him.

He was depressed most of his life, tried, councilling, Antidepressants, herbal remedies and all that stuff. The therapy really helped him turn his life around. I've explored the area myself and there's a lot of sense to it, drugs also help, but don't bother trying them alone without any assistance.

What i've noticed in dealing with depression or anxiety sufferers i know is that problems like that tend to have cyclical, self preserving qualities.

With Happy Boy he would-

1. Be miserable and seek help from friends.
2. Reject the help from those he spoke to as he would interpret peoples opinions about himself as hostility towards him.
3. Become hostile towards the people and continually reject attempts to be nice to him with memories about times they wronged him (Whether it was some throwaway comment most people would just laugh off or their genuine attempts to help him).
4. Assume that nobody liked him.
5. Cycle of misery goes back to the start.


I guess the key to it is breaking that incredibly destructive cycle.



 
ifihadahif Posted: Fri May 16 05:35:47 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Just call Tom Cruise, he has all the answers.

That Scientology stuff is the shit !


 
FN Posted: Fri May 16 10:51:35 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  libra said:
>shush your face....psychiatrists are real doctors!

Well I know a guru who went to study in india and also has an entire wall of certifications and diploma's from prestigious schools in alternative healthcare.


 
FN Posted: Fri May 16 10:52:06 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Actually I haven't seen his wall, but that's how I imagine it to be.


 
libra Posted: Fri May 16 13:55:09 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Christophe said:
>libra said:
>>shush your face....psychiatrists are real doctors!
>
>Well I know a guru who went to study in india and also has an entire wall of certifications and diploma's from prestigious schools in alternative healthcare.

You are so impossible!!

: )


 
choke Posted: Fri May 16 20:05:46 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Thanks guys, this is probably a thread I will come back to.

The sensitivity is something I'm going to have to deal with I think. I know when I went to the states I spent the first 6mths or so feeling hurt by what people would say and then I hardened up and got a lot better at handling things. Back in NZ I spent the next year or so feeling confident and communicating a lot better. I have since slipped back into the sensitive/underconfident pattern. In fact my own father told me I needed to go back to the states, because I am back to how I was before I ever went there.

And the irrational fears... I don't know. We line up for our dinner each night (I'm living in a hostel) and one night I had a panic attack in the line. Since then whenever I get to that point in the line I get really concentrated and feel like I have to physically hold on to reality or else it will happen again. This hyper concentration actually brings on the symptoms and brings me back to where I started.

I also get stabs of panic when walking up stairs with those gaps between each step because I think momentarily that I'm falling.

I also have a lot of trouble getting to sleep once I get a cycle of thoughts in my head. Eg. There's someone standing over me. *turn over* That pile of clothes looks like a corpse. *mental slideshow of fucked up things* I'm going to scare the shit out of myself if I don't stop *effort to stop slideshow* I better not think of anything scarier. I couldnt handle it if I started to hear voices. *Starts to hear voices* Turn on light. Things in room look too still. Leave light on until better thoughts are in head. Turn light off. Cycle starts again.

Is this normal? I've talked about it before and I know people check their closets etc before bed like I do so I think its quite common but I don't know to what extent?


 
addi Posted: Sat May 17 07:53:34 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:

>Is this normal?

What "normal" behavior can be really difficult to answer. It doesn't hit me as normal, but I'm don't have a degree as a doctor in mental health so take anything I write with a grain of salt.

My son suffers from panic attacks and has been prescibed a medication called Alprazolam (lowest dose possible) to take at the onset of having one. He seems to think it makes a big difference. Because I don't know exactly what one feels like and can't put myself in his shoes (or yours)I can't speak with any authority on the positives and negatives of taking a pill to help with this condition.

I will say that I don't like the thought of having to take a mind altering drug, because I think there's too much we don't know on the serious long term side effects. I also know that because each person's body chemistry is unique that one medication that works well in patient X will not help at all in patient Y, so it's a bit of a crap shoot with types and doses a person takes, and a lot of experimenting goes on for what works best.
I know that even amoung the "experts" there's a lot of disagreement in this area on how best to treat individuals. On one end you have psychiatrists with no qualms about prescribing powerful drugs to treat symptoms, and on the other end you have people saying that panic and anxiety disorders are best treated without the use of any meds, and need to be dealt with using a form of behavior modification conditioning...that it's all in their heads, so to speak, and not brought on due to any pre-existing natural chemical inbalance.
As I said, I don't know the answer, but I suspect the truth lies somewhere in between.
I do think seeing a professional can be of help for you, tiff, but I have to qualify that by saying it may take some trial and error to find a competant person (which is a real hassle). There are some good ones out there and some quacks. I also don't know what benefits (fianacially) you have available, so perhaps that's not really an option for you right now.

I know it's not much of a long term cure, but if it helps at all to write about it here keep doing so. Maybe one of us will accidently say something helpful. : )


 
libra Posted: Sat May 17 13:33:01 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>

>
>Is this normal? I've talked about it before and I know people check their closets etc before bed like I do so I think its quite common but I don't know to what extent?

Like addi said, its hard to identify normal behavior...everyone seems to have "things" that are different about them...

But, just to let you know, some of the things you described were familiar in my own life...I have never had a panic attack, but the social anxiety you described and the irrational fears are things that I have too...usually i just have to talk myself down a bit, recognize that I'm letting my imagination run wild or that what i'm thinking is so incredibly unlikely to handle.

However, the things you describe are things you might want to speak with a psychiatrist about...I'm not a big fan of medications, but like addi said about his son, there may be something you could get to take when you feel that way.


 
mat_j Posted: Tue May 20 07:16:13 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>Is this normal? I've talked about it before and I know people check their closets etc before bed like I do so I think its quite common but I don't know to what extent?

The good lady wife does it quite a lot, she has to close the wardrobe door when we go to bed in case she wakes up and sees the dark opening. Occaisonally i am banned from putting my dressing gown on the back of the door in case it looks like someone standing there.




 
ifihadahif Posted: Tue May 20 07:30:02 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:
>choke said:
>>Is this normal? I've talked about it before and I know people check their closets etc before bed like I do so I think its quite common but I don't know to what extent?
>
>The good lady wife does it quite a lot, she has to close the wardrobe door when we go to bed in case she wakes up and sees the dark opening. Occaisonally i am banned from putting my dressing gown on the back of the door in case it looks like someone standing there.
>
Dressing gown = bathrobe ?
>


 
FN Posted: Tue May 20 10:45:46 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>I also have a lot of trouble getting to sleep once I get a cycle of thoughts in my head. Eg. There's someone standing over me. *turn over* That pile of clothes looks like a corpse. *mental slideshow of fucked up things* I'm going to scare the shit out of myself if I don't stop *effort to stop slideshow* I better not think of anything scarier. I couldnt handle it if I started to hear voices. *Starts to hear voices* Turn on light. Things in room look too still. Leave light on until better thoughts are in head. Turn light off. Cycle starts again.
>
>Is this normal?

I don't think it is past a certain age.

I've had something like that going on when I was very young, until I kind of grew into thinking that whatever's there I'll kick it's ass anyway haha


 
mat_j Posted: Tue May 27 10:28:42 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  ifihadahif said:
>mat_j said:

>>
>Dressing gown = bathrobe ?
>>

Cool you guys don't have dressing gowns? You must think that's so quaint.

Darn


 
addi Posted: Tue May 27 17:38:54 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  mat_j said:

>Cool you guys don't have dressing gowns? You must think that's so quaint.
>
>Darn

LOL! Damn that's quaint! God I love the welsh.

Ladies wear dressing gowns here. Guys can too, but then they're not your typical males I guess...if you get my drift...
and being the sharp guy you are I'm sure you do.


 
choke Posted: Mon Jun 9 19:29:01 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Funnily enough my boyfriend and I broke up and I feel a lot more stable? Woulda thought it'd be the other way around!


 
addi Posted: Mon Jun 9 19:44:23 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>Funnily enough my boyfriend and I broke up and I feel a lot more stable? Woulda thought it'd be the other way around!

my gut tells me that you were the one to cut it off then...I mean the relationship, not his appendage.


 
choke Posted: Mon Jun 9 21:32:51 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Actually I wasn't, weirdly enough. I was really upset (and probably will still be for awhile) but I also feel... better? Stronger, in a nastily cliche'd sort of way.


 
addi Posted: Tue Jun 10 09:25:05 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  choke said:
>Actually I wasn't, weirdly enough. I was really upset (and probably will still be for awhile) but I also feel... better? Stronger, in a nastily cliche'd sort of way.

Guess the old saying apllies here then...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
It's never easy to go through emotional trauma like that. Glad you seem to be pulling through it okay...and perhaps a wiser and stronger person for it. I have no doubt that someday you'll find the right guy, tiff. In the meantime enjoy your singleness and ability to do what you want. Lots of great things about having a partner, but there's also a few downsides, so there's no rush for you now.


 
choke Posted: Wed Jun 11 18:01:37 2008 Post | Quote in Reply  
  Aw.. Thanks :)


 



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